Hajj in Pashtun culture

[Haris]

I've heard here & there that if someone wants to go to Hajj, it is better (and perhaps forbidden cultrally-wise unless) if their parents, older siblings and other specific relatives went before.

Is this true?

What is your experience of this?

[sahil112]

i dont no if its true or not but every 1 ino thats been hajj, all the elders in thier family have been before so mabey it is?

[Laila]

I've heard here & there that if someone wants to go to Hajj, it is better (and perhaps forbidden cultrally-wise unless) if their parents, older siblings and other specific relatives went before.

Is this true?

What is your experience of this?

I have heard something similar to this, maybe for financial reasons i guess.

Haris, did you hear the reason behind it?

[Haris]

Haris, did you hear the reason behind it?

nope, thought it would be out of respect for them since they are our elders and have less time on Earth than ourselves?

Not sure.

[IamDZJ]

it has nothing to go with culture. If we are thirsty and we know that our parents are also thirsty, would we not look to it that they are looked after before we gulp down on that glass of water?? We look after their needs first.
The thing is that people often put that goal towards the last few years of their lives.... When a youngster goes to hajj he has a bigger opportunity to change his lifestyle and live a larger portion of his life according to Islam. chances of an elder afghan's life being misled by the shaitan is a lot lesser than a youngster's. Because they have given so much for us it's better we look after their goals before we go after our own. That is a personal choice as looking after one's parent is not limited to the afghan or Pashtun culture....

[graveyardofempires]

ive heard it is good after all the children are married than go to hajj.

[torkham]

i am not sure, my mother is 71 (+/- few years of uncertainty, no documents) and very frail. barely can walk about 50m and then has to rest. she really wants to go for hajj.

what are your experiences of hajj with old parents?

but i would not go for hajj unless the old ones have had the chance because their limited years and also because of my better financial situation - it is matter of my duty, honour and respect of my mor plar.

[Haris]

it has nothing to go with culture. If we are thirsty and we know that our parents are also thirsty, would we not look to it that they are looked after before we gulp down on that glass of water?? We look after their needs first.
The thing is that people often put that goal towards the last few years of their lives.... When a youngster goes to hajj he has a bigger opportunity to change his lifestyle and live a larger portion of his life according to Islam. chances of an elder afghan's life being misled by the shaitan is a lot lesser than a youngster's. Because they have given so much for us it's better we look after their goals before we go after our own.
That is a personal choice as looking after one's parent is not limited to the afghan or Pashtun culture....

Is there then nothing in our culture concerning any guidelines for Hajj?

It's not referring solely to our parents and grandparents. I am talking about older siblings and perhaps cousins as well (no matter how much older they are than you, just as long as they are older).

i am not sure, my mother is 71 (+/- few years of uncertainty, no documents) and very frail. barely can walk about 50m and then has to rest. she really wants to go for hajj.

what are your experiences of hajj with old parents?

What if you were to do Hajj for her?
It would be allowed since she is old & frail (assuming there is no way that her health will dramatically improve).

[IamDZJ]

I have seen cases where a brother takes his parents and two sisters who happen to be younger than the rest if his siblings to hajj with him. No one said anything negative about him. I had never seen a haji that young before so I found it pretty admirable. I wouldn't be offended if someone younger than me went from our family.
In today's society if you have the will you will make it. Back home an elder brother worked to feed 13 siblings so if a youngster went ahead of him, it would make sense for the older brother to be disappointed.

[Haris]

I have seen cases where a brother takes his parents and two sisters who happen to be younger than the rest if his siblings to hajj with him. No one said anything negative about him. I had never seen a haji that young before so I found it pretty admirable. I wouldn't be offended if someone younger than me went from our family.
In today's society if you have the will you will make it. Back home an elder brother worked to feed 13 siblings so if a youngster went ahead of him, it would make sense for the older brother to be disappointed.

I appreciate your input.