Marrying a Hazara

[hasanullah]

the other day i was talking to my very good pashtun friend and the discussion turned towards marraige. I told him that i wouldn't mind marrying anyone as long as she is muslim then to my surprise he told me that i cant marry a pashtun girl and he said that i will be killed if i married one.

now i am kind of scared but is this true? Why do pashtuns look down upon us hazaras.

[Admin Khan]

Pashtuns do not look down upon Hazaras. Hazaras are our brothers, and we sincerely love them. Don't consider one or two rotten apples as our primary representatives. I am a Pashtun, and I absolutely have no problems with you, or your ethnic group. At the end of the day, we all bleed the same color. Smile, and don't take what he said so serious. The point he might have been trying to make is Pashtun fathers don't really let their daughters marry non-Pashtuns. That, however, has nothing to do with Hazaras or Germans. It's a Pashtun cultural thing.

[hasanullah]

Hazara are mostly shia are they not?

Is this the reason because its not our fault if we are born shia or sunni

[hasanullah]

The faith you follow is always your own choice
why are you scared though, did you plan on marrying a pashtun girl?

it wasn't that its just the way he said it but if Allah wishes then sure why not.

[Azmaray]

Or have We given them any Scripture before (this Quran) so that they are holding fast thereto? (21) Nay, for they say only: Lo! we found our fathers following a religion, and we are guided by their footprints. (22) And even so We sent not a warner before thee (Muhammad) into any township but its luxurious ones said: Lo! we found our fathers following a religion, and we are following their footprints. (23) (And the warner) said: What! Even though I bring you better guidance than that ye found your fathers following? They answered: Lo! in what ye bring we are disbelievers. (24)So We requited them. Then see the nature of the consequence for the rejecters! (25) And when Abraham said unto his father and his folk: Lo! I am innocent of what ye worship (26) Save Him Who did create me, for He will surely guide me. (27)

[graveyardofempires]

actually hazaras were sunni before the Safavids shias convertign them to shiasm.

there are a many sunni hazaras and they say "from one side they beat us saying we are sunni and from other side you beat us saying you are hazara".

as far as the marrying part goes : Pashtuns are strict when it comes to marryiage etc,many dont even marry outside the people of their own city.

[ScimitarXEdge]

Hasanullah

in most societies the marrying of women exogamally (outside of her social/ethnic group) is seen as a faux pas. The reason being that it is allowing a foreign men to have reproductive opportunity However; similarly on this same principle it is seen acceptable to marry outside of their groups, on account that it allows them the opportunity to access other women to acquire reproductive opportunities. This is a natural competition within a species. It's been explained by evolutionary biologists ecological equilibrium theory. So this is why there is a stigma. So don't necessarily take it personally.

However, with that said I don't see anything wrong with a Hazara marrying a Pashtun woman, or Pashtun marrying a Hazara as long as its for moral and noble reasons. We should learn to respect each other and live in harmony. If parents and family honor and approve of these marriages and they're being done to avoid immorality and corruption in society. Then We should embrace anyone who holds these principles dear no matter if they are Hazara or Pashtun or even Punjabi or Arabic or Chechnian or Albanian or even Somalian or Sudanese.

All this nonsense like "Sunni/Shi'a" should leave us, we're not any of these, we're Muslims and that is all. We should all be united for the same cause and same purpose.

[torkham]

I agree, the sunni/shia element is abhorable (political and complex), and equally abhorable is the bigotry of bigoted pashtuns or any other for that matter.

Choosing who to marry should, as it is recommended, be based on deen, piety, morally upright character. these attributes may be sought in either ones kom or outside ones kom. there are many stabilising virtues of remaining in ones kom. there are also many prejudices that have to considered for children's sake marrying out of kom. how well can you consolidate or tolerate the differences is the real question you have to ask yourself.

[hasanullah]

Thanks guys, your responses are full of knowledge and wisdom. I learnt something new today.

[Shayesta]

The Shia-Sunni part is not the deal, it's just surprising that not just Pukhtoons but all non-Hazara Afghans have got something against Hazaras. Whether it's because of their looks, or poverty, or dialect, or history I don't know. But I do know that whatever the reason is, it's never valid enough to completely alienate one particular group from an entire society. I hope recent years and years coming up are flourishing years for the Hazaras because in all honesty, history hasn't been in their favour at any time whatsoever. Maybe except for Amanullah Khan's support.

[hasanullah]

The Shia-Sunni part is not the deal, it's just surprising that not just Pukhtoons but all non-Hazara Afghans have got something against Hazaras. Whether it's because of their looks, or poverty, or dialect, or history I don't know. But I do know that whatever the reason is, it's never valid enough to completely alienate one particular group from an entire society. I hope recent years and years coming up are flourishing years for the Hazaras because in all honesty, history hasn't been in their favour at any time whatsoever. Maybe except for Amanullah Khan's support.

Thank you sister for your beautiful response. I still kind of feel the same as hazaras in Afghanistan in my point of view have been treated like third class citizens through out history.

[MostafaM]

It´s not true that Hazaras have always been treated like that.
After Abddurahman Khans military assault on Hazarajat, the enslavement of Hazara people and bringing them to Kabul as servants their status changed.
This is a dark point in our history, we must face it and try to overcome it.


Hasanullah,

marrying outside your own cultural circle is not easy.
Specially if you try to preserve your heritage and try to raise your kids with a distinct identity.
I would suggest you marry a Hazara girl.

[Nokia_Apridy]

The Shia-Sunni part is not the deal, it's just surprising that not just Pukhtoons but all non-Hazara Afghans have got something against Hazaras. Whether it's because of their looks, or poverty, or dialect, or history I don't know. But I do know that whatever the reason is, it's never valid enough to completely alienate one particular group from an entire society. I hope recent years and years coming up are flourishing years for the Hazaras because in all honesty, history hasn't been in their favour at any time whatsoever. Maybe except for Amanullah Khan's support.

Wos da na cha chay ta Mod jora shway nu sa chay lekey haga

ba jayaz wi.................Yu sada tapos


sta pa da Post banday da Ahmed Shah

da Iran khaza kray wa >............yes/no ka zob ghwaram bhes

na zan pohawal........di...

[Shayesta]

^ Walah che hess poha neshwum che taso tse wowail, tse wonewail.

[Alchemist]

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