Marriage to non-Pashtuns

[graveyardofempires]

why marry someone who doesnt speak your language
btw what has Islam got to do with this?

[qunduz92]

why marry someone who doesnt speak your language
btw what has Islam got to do with this?

lol yeah islam actually encourages marriage within one's own culture and community because Allah (swt) says he created us into different nations and tribes so that we may recognize each other

if we all married outside our ethnicities none of us would have any heritage or identity by which others may recognize us. we'd just be diluted mutts with no culture language or character.

the different ethnicities and races created by Allah (swt) as one of His (swt) signs should be preserved, in my opinion.

[Catya Sher]

I laughed at Unknown's characterization of nite clubs too !

I think Sangeen is a much needed addition to PF.

I've been thinking for a few hours about what he said.
I think he's right about Islam over Pashtunwali every time.

I think if one follows Allah [swt] FIRST and foremost, Allah [swt]
will lead that person to the right husband/wife - which is absolutely
critical to have the RIGHT one for each soul - never settle for
second best -
and to every beneficial situation in every aspect of life.

I see Pashtunwali as a PROP supporting the Islamic point of view, like the framing
of the walls of a house.

But the concrete foundation MUST be Islam.
Agree or not?

[Dreamer]

marry who u want.... We all belong to the HUMAN race

[Dreamer]

lol yeah islam actually encourages marriage within one's own culture and community because Allah (swt) says he created us into different nations and tribes so that we may recognize each other

if we all married outside our ethnicities none of us would have any heritage or identity by which others may recognize us. we'd just be diluted mutts with no culture language or character.

the different ethnicities and races created by Allah (swt) as one of His (swt) signs should be preserved, in my opinion.

funny that... seeing as the prophet himself married a copt, a hebrew and arabs

[qunduz92]

funny that... seeing as the prophet himself married a copt, a hebrew and arabs

key word being encouraged...not obligated.

[Dreamer]

key word being encouraged...not obligated.

sunna is all abt encouragement.... one may act in accordance with how prophet ate, drank slept walked talked married or not.... it is not essentially fard so that 2 is encouragement but as prophet was described as the walking talking quran by one his wives... his actions are to be followed so less of the mumbo jumbo abt preserving race... the whole concept of "race" is stupid
that verse in the quran which talks about people knowing each other though they may be different tribes and nations is to downplay racism and encourage mixing not the opposite

[qunduz92]

sunna is all abt encouragement.... one may act in accordance with how prophet ate, drank slept walked talked married or not.... it is not essentially fard so that 2 is encouragement but as prophet was described as the walking talking quran by one his wives... his actions are to be followed so less of the mumbo jumbo abt preserving race... the whole concept of "race" is stupid
that verse in the quran which talks about people knowing each other though they may be different tribes and nations is to downplay racism and encourage mixing not the opposite

you've got it a little mixed up. the peophet (SAW)'s engaging in certain actions most of the time and not engaging other times merely proves a lack of obligation.

a good example is that of tarawih prayers in the masjid after breaking the ramadan fast. when the prophet SAW used to go every night to the masjid for such, the sahaba felt it was mandatory so they would too. one day the prophet SAW failed to go, and instead carried them out in the home. this was a clear message that even though praying tarawih in the home as a common practice is not as favorable as in the masjid, it is not absolutey obligatory to carry them out in the masjid either.

there are countless other examples.


to the contrary the beard was never shaven by the prophet (saw) so it is interpreted as mandatory unless theres a valid excuse.

as far as multi-ethnic marriages are concerned, scholars of fiqh differ on its encouragement so obviously different opinions exist.

[Dreamer]

you've got it a little mixed up. the peophet (SAW)'s engaging in certain actions most of the time and not engaging other times merely proves a lack of obligation.

when the prophet (saw) used to pray sunaati ghair mu'akkadah prayers most of the time yet failed to a minority of the time, does not imply such prayers are not sunnah. to the contrary, it is interpreted as incompulsory sunnah that is not strongly enouraged as the mu'akkadah. there are countless other examples. the beard however, was never shaven by the prophet (saw) so it is interpreted as mandatory unless theres a valid excuse.

as far as multi-ethnic marriages are concerned, scholars of fiqh differ on its encouragement so obviously different opinions exist.

point he married to show that no one "race" or peoples are superior to another.... your "races" were created by a group of people marrying within each other from the same regions and over time creating a new peoples... so it is with people marrying different people... a new "race" shall be created and what of it? Big deal.... we all belong to the HUMAN race...

[qunduz92]

point he married to show that no one "race" or peoples are superior to another.... your "races" were created by a group of people marrying within each other from the same regions and over time creating a new peoples... so it is with people marrying different people... a new "race" shall be created and what of it? Big deal.... we all belong to the HUMAN race...

i edited my last post with a better example.

a century ago, globalization did not exist and people from different parts of the world were not able to readily and easily contact one another as they are today with the advent of cars, airplanes, melting-pot nations, and so forth. they only married within their own communities.

if every pashtun started marrying chinese, for instance, the dominant phenotypic genes passed would be undoubedtly that of the chinese due to genetics as well as their much greater numbers. over time, that dilution would result in the complete extinction of our race, culture, and language. i think our people are a beauty and marvel of Allah (swt) and i constantly am mind-boggled at the beauty he has created in our people. HE (swt) is the creator of our age-old uniqueness which has been preserved for thousands of years. Allah (Swt) would want his creation preserved in the manner he created them. Allah (swt) even says in the Qur'an that the varying tongues are His (swt) creation. So why tamper with it and fall prey to the masonic, melting-pot hegemony trap that encourages ONE race with no distinictions within it?

we can be muslims and preserve our unique heritages at the same time. if you were wise enough to understand, they are one of the marvels of Allah (swt).

[qunduz92]

^ this also illustrates my contention that multi-ethnic marriages are NOT encouraged. if they were islamically encouraged, every one would be doing such just to get a reward at the expense of the demise of their heritage.

[Master Khan]

Well if they think islam is important then why don't they learn arabic aswell then
I don't want my sister or daughter marrying some indian guy, Culture and langauge is important too

[Sangeen]

Well if they think islam is important then why don't they learn arabic aswell then
I don't want my sister or daughter marrying some indian guy, Culture and langauge is important too

Thats right indeed. I am learning Arabic so that my children can learn Arabic as their first language. After that if pashto interest them they can have a crack at that too otherwise I aint bothered. After all, it will not be Ghafar, Wali Asfanyar, Sangeen, Afrasiyab, Ajmal and other Islam bashers that will decide my eternal fate.

Seem like you are a commi wannabe ... wonder if you could put together few sentences in Russian?

Now the serious business.

the topic here is ; Should Pashtun marry a non-pashtun?

My answer in nut shell is: I will not advise it.
Why?
Cause they will do small little things that will irritate the hell out of you. Things such as she may not give as much of "Milmastya" to your guests as much a pashtun woman would. If you are a Pashtun woman married to a Punjabi man, he may very proudly break wind in front of everyone. In nut shell it is not easy to live your life with someone that is so different then you.

I do wish We were not following our own cultures and Islam was the only culture amongst all ethnicities but unfortunately it is not the case.

So if you want an easy life marry someone from your own ethnic background.

But (for Pashtun men) if you find someone that has adopted ISLAM as her culture and is totally free of other cultural influences then she is better then any best pashtun cause he is following the path of ALLAH has chosen for us.

would I recommend a pashtun lady to marry a very good Muslim but ethnically punjabi guy?
I will say she better Not cause after marriage she will have to live with his family. The good Muslim Punjabi guy may be a very good man but his family or extended family may not be as good as him and she will get hurt by things that may be thrown at her from others around her. A pashtun girl may marry a revert Muslim man provided he is independent from his family, can provide for her and she can be sure that his reversion is not temporary.

These are not my opinions these are facts .... i can give you 100s of examples for each of the above statements.

Finally, we should not or even can not "tell" our sisters or daughters whom they can and whom they can not marry. We can only advise and educate them. what quite often happens is that we don't full-fill our end of the deal -the education and advice- and when they express a desire of dong something that isn't good for them we fall upon them like a tonne of bricks telling them they can not go to school they can not meet their friends etc etc. This type of careless attitude has create resentment and even rebellion in or women folk. I know many girl that has ran away from homes and many has even turned their back on not only pashtun culture but even on Islam.

We pashtun men are rather despicable at times. We will rob our women of their rights cause thats what pashtunwali is but we will give it the name of ISLAM.

[Sangeen]

I think i might as well start a thread about those Pashtuns that have married non-pashtun girls in western countries. These girls converted to Islam for them had children with them and when they got their pass ports these great pashtuns either left those girls or went back home and had another girl. In these cases neither of the two girls will know that he has another wife as well. Totally betraying the trust of both of them.

Sum da Hamza Baba dranah Pukhtnuh dee.

I know many many many poor girls that are in such situations I think i might as well bring them here as they can tell you whether if a Pashtun should marry a non-pashtun or not and specially "Why Not".

And mind you, this bravado is not reserved for pashtun men alone. Do you guys know Murtaza and Shahnawaz Bhutto? They were married to two Afghan ladies, Fauzia and Rehana Fasihudin. Rehana was allegedly involved in poisoning Shahnaz Bhutto and Fauzia ditched Murtaza Bhutto and never looked back until such time that she realised that her daughter "Fatimah Bhutto" can now lay few golden eggs. Fatimah Bhutto vehemently opposed her mothers custody bid. Fatima Bhutto was raised by her father's second wife Ghinwa Bhutto who is an Arab lady.

So before we look down upon others we should have a peek in your own shirts.

p.s. i forgot to mention that Fauzia and Rehana Fasihudin were daughters of Pashtun commi wanna be, a Khalqi. These 24 carat, genuine, bona fide Bustards have ruined and utterly ruined the Pashtun nation.

[kakargirl]

sageen te khpela pashtu peezhanai? .