I am LOST

[spogmai shaglay]

I AM LOST
Life with you was a Paradise,
Everything now seems to be in disguise…

Your unconditional love, your immense care,
Your absence here is hard to bear….

The undying faith in you, the comfort of your arms,
Can never be replaced by anybody’s charm..

You were my shield, you were my honour…
Now the shield is shattered, and i see the world in horror.

This bitter fact is hard to face,
That I am alone in this void space.

I walk alone in the desert of life,
With my guiding star, nowhere in sight..

I want to ask, but never dare,
Are you really gone, or it’s a nightmare..

I meet you often, when i sleep.
But all I do, is hold you and weep.

In crowd I am, as strong as a stone,
The child in me cries, whenever alone..

If granted a wish, I want you back,
Or take me along, or I will follow your track

Dad!!! Dear dad,,, You are missed the most,
The world is a maze, and I AM LOST……




'I AM LOST' is dedicated to all my family members here who have lost their near and dear ones......

but these words are not enough to do justice to the agony one feels after losing a loved one..

[єѕαρχαι]

khapa dy kro

[Musafira]

'I AM LOST' is dedicated to all my family members here who have lost their near and dear ones......

but these words are not enough to do justice to the agony one feels after losing a loved one..

You did a wonderful job depicting that agony. I have tears in my eyes because I felt all those same feelings. Losing a parent, especially while we are very young and thinking they will always be here for us, is a very painful event. Thank you so much and I look forward to reading more from you.

[spogmai shaglay]

You did a wonderful job depicting that agony. I have tears in my eyes because I felt all those same feelings. Losing a parent, especially while we are very young and thinking they will always be here for us, is a very painful event. Thank you so much and I look forward to reading more from you.

Thanks Lewanai Anjalai... T
his is what Gulalai must have felt... worse than this.........after losing every family member....

[*Mahzala*]

Spogmai, if I could thank you a million times for sharing it, still, it wouldn't suffice. You've said it well yourself: Words cannot do justice to the experience itself. I don't say this to add flowery words to my message, but truly, I enjoyed reading this a lot. I would love to save a copy, with your byline of course. So well versed, touching and heartfelt.

[thelostone]

This indeed is very well written Spogmai

[Palwasha]

Your unconditional love, your immense care,
Your absence here is hard to bear….

In crowd I am, as strong as a stone,
The child in me cries, whenever alone..

If granted a wish, I want you back,
Or take me along, or I will follow your track

but these words are not enough to do justice to the agony one feels after losing a loved one..

='/ Thanks for posting this, definitely heartfelt. It's very beautiful.

[amna.]

so nicely written I loved it.

[Roshina]

Very beautiful, Spogmai! Very well-written!

I love the language of the poem, love the metaphors (I'm extremely picky when it comes to liking and appreciating metaphors in creative writing, but you did an excellent job with yours!).

Keep it up, and I'll be looking forward to reading more from you.

[Feroz Afridi]

ماشالله ډير ښکلې نظم ئې ليکلې دے

زما نه هم چې کله يو خوږ دوست لاړو نو يو څو شعرونه مې د قلم په زريعه قرطاس ته وسپارل

دا غزل د یو ملګری په جدائ کښ ما فل بدیه لیکلې وو..تاسو ئې هم خوند واخلئ..
غزل

تۀ لاړے خوند لاړو
تا سره ژوند لاړو

خدایه څۀ وکړمه
یار شونډې بند لاړو

دلته تراخه پاتې شو
هلته نو قند لاړو

ستا په یارئ کښ اشنا
کچکلول او کند لاړو


فیروز تنها پاتې شو
یار ئې څرګند لاړو

[spogmai shaglay]

Spogmai, if I could thank you a million times for sharing it, still, it wouldn't suffice. You've said it well yourself: Words cannot do justice to the experience itself. I don't say this to add flowery words to my message, but truly, I enjoyed reading this a lot. I would love to save a copy, with your byline of course. So well versed, touching and heartfelt.

i didnt enjoy writing it....but had to put the feelings into words.... you could say a way of venting out my feelings... atleast somebody should know.....it feels a lot lighter...

[spogmai shaglay]

Very beautiful, Spogmai! Very well-written!

I love the language of the poem, love the metaphors (I'm extremely picky when it comes to liking and appreciating metaphors in creative writing, but you did an excellent job with yours!).

Keep it up, and I'll be looking forward to reading more from you.

Thank u Qrratugai... i am also looking forward to some critical appreciation so that it will help me to write better.. although i dont know when the next will come...may be a day or may be a month or even more.....

[spogmai shaglay]

cheer up spoghmai we are all here for you

thats so nice of You Rehana... but i am quite cheerful always.....

[*Mahzala*]

i didnt enjoy writing it....but had to put the feelings into words.... you could say a way of venting out my feelings... atleast somebody should know.....it feels a lot lighter...

I know, and thus my reply. I can share my own of similar nature with you sometime. (InshaAllah)

[Badlun]

Great piece of poetry Spogmai , it really covers all the three important aspects of any good poetry, rhyme, rhythm and melody and also a good message if you take art for life not for art. The beauty of the diction and the impressive use of figures of speech is superb

Still I would like to point out few pitfalls like the use of rhymes for the sake of rhyme only not for the spirit of the poem like the use of paradise and disguise..in English its not must you go along with the rhyme scheme ,,which you can violate liberally but the rhythm or mel……ody must be there ..it seems on the pattern of a Urdu Ghazzal or Masnawi and for writing good English poetry you need more English poetry both classic and modern.

There are some punctuation mistakes like the small letter i

The poem at the beginning seems a romantic one but later on it comes out to be on paternal love . Its good suspense however may mislead the readers and in serious poetry I dont think its some thing appreciable.