Zama Jaral...my own poem

[Son of Mountains]

Hello all
I have written a few poems in Pashto too....i love to write more in my lovely language Pashto but i think, i do many mistakes.
Here is one poem....i want comments and corrections.
(Thanks)

Zama pa nazar k rasha che yaw arman la jaram
Sumra wakht teir sho, os de dedan la jaram

Pa lara k walarr yam, sirf yaw zal bia milo sha
Ta zama tol jahan yae, khpal jahan la jaram

Sta spin sterge me jorr kre be-sterge janana
Zrra k gham der de, bia hom da okhke baran la jaram

Zama da watan mashuman dodai la tarsya kegi
Aw za lewanay shwam, yaw bewafa janan la jaram

Zama khog watan prigda aw takhta zalim lasuna
zaka che pa dua k tala yaw tofan la jaram

(Son of Mountains)

[Nokia_Apridy]

Zama da watan mashuman dodai la tarsya kegi
Aw za lewanay shwam, yaw bewafa janan la jaram

[Yousafzai Pakhtun]

Tarsya kegee sa' ta wayee???? You mean "taras rahay hain"?

[Feroz Afridi]

Hello all
I have written a few poems in Pashto too....i love to write more in my lovely language Pashto but i think, i do many mistakes.
Here is one poem....i want comments and corrections.
(Thanks)

Zama pa nazar k rasha che yaw arman la jaram
Sumra wakht teir sho, os de dedan la jaram

yara da kho dey pa wazan bahar sam na dey
aw kafeeya de ham ghalta da
laka= Arman aw dedan sara samoon na khwri.

Pa lara k walarr yam, sirf yaw zal bia milo sha
Ta zama tol jahan yae, khpal jahan la jaram

milaw sha lafz ghalt dey...da slan language kaidey shi kho grammer key sahi na dey

Sta spin sterge me jorr kre be-sterge janana
Zrra k gham der de, bia hom da okhke baran la jaram

Zama da watan mashuman dodai la tarsya kegi
Aw za lewanay shwam, yaw bewafa janan la jaram

Zama khog watan prigda aw takhta zalim lasuna
zaka che pa dua k tala yaw tofan la jaram

(Nauman Khan Azeemi, Son of Mountains)

try try again.
inshallah kha ba shey
pass nazam 2/10 dey
mananan

[Abdul Haq]

Sam dai ,

try agian dont lose up,

[amna.]

Good effort but give it another try.

[Son of Mountains]

Thank U all for your comments and suggestions....seems that I need to be student of any Pashto Poet

[Michin Khel]

Janana spi raqeeb ta ma warza kani wa ba jaram

Stargo na may ba weenay baigi, okho na bada

Raqeeb sara mulakat na pas mata rawara samosay garma garam

kani pa rocket launcher ba de olam, ghalay ba shay hamesha para janana

(shairan hazrat na islah kawano request kawam...luffy khan luffy)