Books/Articles on Women in Pashtunwali & Islam's Role in it

[yassir]

Re: Books/Articles on Women in Pashtunwali & Islam's Role in

I think women in Pashtunwali are treated like princesses. Women like it when men aren't scared to stand and protect their women.

Pukhtun women have it good.

It's interesting you say that, I've heard many South Asains and even Pashtuns themselves talk about how strict the men in our culture are with their women and thus stereotype us in that sense.

To be honest I think our men are quite strict with us, it can be difficult, but it's sometime for the best. It's good our people have honour and izzat.

We are strict with WOMEN in a GOOD WAY not a bad way. We never want a stranger to touch our women. sorry, but over my dead body will that happen.

[Roshina]

Re: Books/Articles on Women in Pashtunwali & Islam's Role in

Maybe Pukhtun women have it good, maybe they have it bad; who knows -- we should strive to hear *their* views about how *they* are treated and try to listen to *their* suggestions about how we can make their lives even better. I mean, sometimes we might THINK that we're doing something for THEIR own good, but that's only assuming that they don't know what's good for them, right?

But I would never beat up a women really bad...

Would you beat her at ALL? :shock: ('cause you said "I would never beat up a woman *really bad* lol)

If she does speenstragi, you never know might happen to that woman.

I see.
What about when the husband (the one who's beating the wife because she did "speenstargi") does speenstargi himself? Who's supposed to handle him?

[Roshina]

Re: Books/Articles on Women in Pashtunwali & Islam's Role in

I think women in Pashtunwali are treated like princesses. Women like it when men aren't scared to stand and protect their women.

Pukhtun women have it good.

It's interesting you say that, I've heard many South Asains and even Pashtuns themselves talk about how strict the men in our culture are with their women and thus stereotype us in that sense.

To be honest I think our men are quite strict with us, it can be difficult, but it's sometime for the best. It's good our people have honour and izzat.

We are strict with WOMEN in a GOOD WAY not a bad way. We never want a stranger to touch our women. sorry, but over my dead body will that happen.

I am sure no woman wants to have a *stranger* touch her, lol. But you don't have to be too STRICT to ensure that no stranger touches her, now, do you? If you prove to your wife that you're worthy of her respect, she will NEVER let another man touch her or talk to her in an indecent manner.

If you mistreat your wife, however, then chances are very high that she's gonna slip away -- not necessarily by turning to other men (no! Not at all, even, in most cases), but she'll just not love and respect you the way you think you need to be respected as her husband.

Respect in marriage needs to be mutual. If your wife cannot do something, you shouldn't allow it to yourself either -- i.e., if you don't think your wife should talk to any males, you shouldn't talk to any females, either. Know what I mean? If you don't want your wife to see her parents or friends, you shouldn't see your parents and friends either then. (I'm not saying anyone here has put such restrictions on their wives, of course; but I know of men like this. They deny their women like everything possible while THEMSELVES having every freedom a human can enjoy!)

[Roshina]

Re: Books/Articles on Women in Pashtunwali & Islam's Role in

I think women in Pashtunwali are treated like princesses. Women like it when men aren't scared to stand and protect their women.

Pukhtun women have it good.

It's interesting you say that, I've heard many South Asains and even Pashtuns themselves talk about how strict the men in our culture are with their women and thus stereotype us in that sense.

To be honest I think our men are quite strict with us, it can be difficult, but it's sometime for the best. It's good our people have honour and izzat.

We are strict with WOMEN in a GOOD WAY not a bad way. We never want a stranger to touch our women. sorry, but over my dead body will that happen.

You think it's in a good way, but what if the women you're so strict with DON'T think it's good? I mean, after all, it's THEY who are receiving the treatment, right? You're only giving it, so you'll never know what it's like.

I'm not suggesting that this strictness is bad; I'm merely suggesting that it's better to hear what the females in your family -- on whom you are strict (or even not strict) -- have to say regarding your attitude towards them, whether it's good in your opinion or bad. It would only strengthen our communication skills with our families, I'd think.

(P.S. It should NOT be assumed that I want a western society to replace our Pukhtun society. Many seem to think that the moment you bring up women and mention that perhaps our women aren't as happy as you think they are, you're demanding "freedom like that in the west for women"! :S)

[Palwasha]

Re: Books/Articles on Women in Pashtunwali & Islam's Role in

^Gosh you're good.

(MashAllah...)

[Roshina]

Re: Books/Articles on Women in Pashtunwali & Islam's Role in

^Gosh you're good.

(MashAllah...)

lol!
Pa khair, Khaney. :lol: Khaney from CK, yeah?

[yassir]

Re: Books/Articles on Women in Pashtunwali & Islam's Role in

You think it's in a good way, but what if the women you're so strict with DON'T think it's good? I mean, after all, it's THEY who are receiving the treatment, right? You're only giving it, so you'll never know what it's like.

Yes I do,
I feel as though a women needs to be protected. When they are not protected, you see the rape levels,sexual harassment statistics.

I'm not suggesting that this strictness is bad; I'm merely suggesting that it's better to hear what the females in your family -- on whom you are strict (or even not strict) -- have to say regarding your attitude towards them, whether it's good in your opinion or bad. It would only strengthen our communication skills with our families, I'd think.

I understand where you are coming from, but the honor of our women must be protected without even asking them. If someone is about to rape you, I will die first before I see such a thing happen. Honor is important to us Pashtuns, we are know to have GUTS for a reason.

(P.S. It should NOT be assumed that I want a western society to replace our Pukhtun society. Many seem to think that the moment you bring up women and mention that perhaps our women aren't as happy as you think they are, you're demanding "freedom like that in the west for women"! :S)

[Palwasha]

Re: Books/Articles on Women in Pashtunwali & Islam's Role in

lol!
Pa khair, Khaney. :lol: Khaney from CK, yeah?

Ja ja, tis me khorey Long time!

Not that I exactly like this username much, but kept the same one.

[Roshina]

Re: Books/Articles on Women in Pashtunwali & Islam's Role in

So far, here are the sources I've gathered on Pukhtunwali and women (with emphasis on the concept of honor in Pukhtunwali and how it has evolved -- if it has evolved at all -- particularly after Islam's arrival into Pukhtun areas, and how the status and roles of women have changed ever since).

1. Ahmed, Akbar, Pukhtun Economy and Society
2. Ahmed, Akbar, Millennium and Charisma among Pathans
3. Ahmed, Amineh (Amineh Ahmed Hoti), Sorrow and Joy among Muslim women (it's entirely about Pukhtun women, not Muslim women in general)
4. Akseer, Spogmai, So Far away: Voices of Rural Afghan Women
5. Barth, Fredrik Features of Society and Person in Swat
6. Barth, Fredrik Pathan Identity and its Maintenance
7. Barth, Fredrik, Political Leadership Among Swat Pathans
8. Christensen, Hanne, The Reconstructions of Afghanistan: A Chance for Rural Afghan Women
9. Drumbl, Mark A., Rights, Culture, and Crime: The Role of Rule of Law for the Women of Afghanistan
10. Emadi, Hafizullah, Repression, Resistance, and Women in Afghanistan
11. Grima, Benedicte, Secrets From The Field: An Ethnographer's Notes From North Western Pakistan
12. Habibi, Abdul Hai "The Role of Women in Pashto Literature"
13. Ismati, Muhaqqiq Massoma, The Position and Role of Afghan Women
14. Kakar, Palwasha, "Tribal law of Pashtunwali and Women’s Legislative Authority"
15. Knabe, Erika, “Afghan Women: Does Their Role Change?” in Louis Dupree and Linette Albert (eds.), Afghanistan in the 1970s
16. Lindholm, Charles, Generosity and Jealousy: The Swat Pukhtun of Northern Pakistan
17. Lindholm Charles, “The Structure of Violence among the Swat Pukhtun”
18. Misdaq, Nabi, Afghanistan: Political Frailty and External Interference
19. Oleson, Asta, Islam and Politics in Afghanistan
20. Rahimi, Fahima, Women in Afghanistan
21. Spain, James W., Pathans of the Latter Day
22. Tapper, Nancy, Bartered Brides: Politics, Gender and Marriage in an Afghan Tribal society

[Roshina]

Re: Books/Articles on Women in Pashtunwali & Islam's Role in

This is quite an interesting topic and I must say I am surprised that you chose to research in it, I can tell you this much in my family the ladies are HIGHLY respected by ALL.

Great to hear! Everyone should respect women and men... equally, not more, not less. Both are worthy of respect.

You know, I have yet to find someone -- Pukhtun or non-Pukhtun, Muslim or non-Muslim, western or non-western -- who will ever say anywhere that the ladies in their family are disrespected.

So, how do we all here define "respect" towards women? How about towards men?

[Roshina]

Re: Books/Articles on Women in Pashtunwali & Islam's Role in

I define respect to women as the following
listening to their desires.
not badmouthing for no reason.
not cursing,hitting at ALL.
showing appreciation at all times.
most importantly making sure they are happy.

~Gives a sigh of relief~
Good! Good boy!

[shinwari]

Re: Books/Articles on Women in Pashtunwali & Islam's Role in

^
Pashtun men love their wives, don't get it confused.

[Master Khan]

Re: Books/Articles on Women in Pashtunwali & Islam's Role in

Please don't listen to western people.
they think we treat our women like crap..its all lies.
We respect them and treat them well.

[Master Khan]

Re: Books/Articles on Women in Pashtunwali & Islam's Role in

I agree with you Master Khan, Khan are you married?

Not yet, I am Engaged and manana.
To be honest I live in England and boys here totally disrespect females here.

[truepashtun]

Re: Books/Articles on Women in Pashtunwali & Islam's Role in

Khan, do you mean disrespect Pashtun women? Or British women?