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Real Partners Are No Match for Ideal Mate, Study Finds

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  • Real Partners Are No Match for Ideal Mate, Study Finds

    Our ideal image of the perfect partner differs greatly from our real-life partner, according to new research from the University of Sheffield and the University of Montpellier in France. The research found that our actual partners are of a different height, weight and body mass index than those we would ideally choose.

    The study, which was published the week of 27 September 2010) in the Journal PLoS ONE, found that most men and women express different mating preferences for body morphology than the actual morphology of their partners and the discrepancies between real mates and fantasies were often larger for women than for men.
    The study also found that most men would rather have female partners much slimmer than they really have. Most women are not satisfied, either, but contrary to men, while some would like slimmer mates, others prefer bigger ones.
    Human mating preferences are increasingly being studied to understand what shapes our complex reproductive behaviour. Whilst previous studies have separately investigated ideal mate choice and actual pairing, this new research was specifically conducted to compare them. The researchers gathered data from one hundred heterosexual couples living in Montpellier, south of France. To measure preferences for body morphology, they used software which allowed the participant to easily modify the body shape of their ideal silhouette on a computer screen. The researchers then compared ideal silhouettes obtained with the actual characteristics of the partners.
    For the three morphological traits studied -- height, weight and body mass -- men's mating preferences were less different from their actual partner's characteristics than females' ones. As the authors remark, the lower dissatisfaction observed for men in this study may be restricted to some physical traits, and results could be different for other traits such as personality, political opinion or sense of humor that are also important in partner choice.
    Dr Alexandre Courtiol, from the University of Sheffield, who carried out the work with colleagues from the Institut des Sciences de l'Evolution de Montpellier, said: "Whether males or females win the battle of mate choice, it is likely for any trait, what we prefer and what we get, differs quite significantly. This is because our ideals are usually rare or unavailable and also because both sexes express preferences while biological optimum can differ between them."
    Editor's Note: This article is not intended to provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
    http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases...1001105517.htm
    "O Pakhtuns!, Your house has fallen into ruin, let us rebuild it".
    "I want to see my people educated and enlightened. A people with a vision and a strong sense of justice, who can carve out a future for themselves in harmony with nature".

  • #2
    ...that there is a disparity between what we actually want in our partners and what we actually end up in reality (oh that sux big time!).The participants generated images of their ideal partners through software program which were then compared to their real life partners and they found differences between the ideal vs real!
    For the males the differences between ideal vs real physical factors (BMI, height, and weight) were lesser compared to the females.This could be due to the reason that males take other traits in account too such as sense of humor, political opinion (as stated above in the article),etc.
    Lol!!I am surprised even french women think so idealistically when it comes to ideal partner (according to the article, the disparity was more in response of females than males)...I always thought it is more the problem of eastern females...like in my dark ages, I always thought of that handsome gallant knight on the dark black horse...the knight is no more there!!Lol
    Last edited by PFgulalai; 10-10-2010, 01:11 AM.
    "O Pakhtuns!, Your house has fallen into ruin, let us rebuild it".
    "I want to see my people educated and enlightened. A people with a vision and a strong sense of justice, who can carve out a future for themselves in harmony with nature".

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    • #3
      this is hilarious! so that is why they end up having affairs and such (both men and women in those societies) because they are never happy with the choice they made. Lesson learned: before you get married, make sure it is the right person you want (for whatever reasons you feel fit- looks, money, the usual) lol
      hahaha

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      • #4
        the people I know who have recently got married all grow fat for some reason.
        Don't know why, they eat like crazy.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by unknownprince View Post
          this is hilarious! so that is why they end up having affairs and such (both men and women in those societies) because they are never happy with the choice they made. Lesson learned: before you get married, make sure it is the right person you want (for whatever reasons you feel fit- looks, money, the usual) lol
          hahaha
          No, that is not the question here.
          The research study has not determined whether such differences have some good or bad impact on the relationship of the couples. The study only found differences between the ideal vs real partners.

          Originally posted by unknownprince View Post
          the people I know who have recently got married all grow fat for some reason.
          Don't know why, they eat like crazy.
          Lol..I think marriage is a highly demanding affair with lots of unexpected situations such as experiencing ideal vs real things, hahaha..some people would eat more due to tension/depression/anxiety...still other would eat more due to happinesss..It seems to me that marriage results in extreme behavior that can possibly result in obesity, hypertension, depression, extreme euphoria... lolz...
          Last edited by PFgulalai; 10-10-2010, 03:09 AM.
          "O Pakhtuns!, Your house has fallen into ruin, let us rebuild it".
          "I want to see my people educated and enlightened. A people with a vision and a strong sense of justice, who can carve out a future for themselves in harmony with nature".

          Comment

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