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  • Helicopter Parents

    Helicopter parent is a colloquial, early 21st-century term for a parent who pays extremely close attention to his or her child's or children's experiences and problems, particularly at educational institutions. The term was originally coined by Foster W. Cline, M.D. and Jim Fay in their 1990 book Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility, although Dr. Haim Ginott mentions a teen who complains, "Mother hovers over me like a helicopter..." on page 18 of the bestselling book Between Parent & Teenager published in 1969. Helicopter parents are so named because, like helicopters, they hover closely overhead, rarely out of reach, whether their children need them or not. In Scandinavia, this phenomenon is known as curling parenthood and describes parents who attempt to sweep all obstacles out of the paths of their children. It is also called "overparenting". Parents try to resolve their child's problems, and try to stop them coming to harm by keeping them out of dangerous situations.
    Some college professors and administrators are now referring to "Lawnmower parents" to describe mothers and fathers who attempt to smooth out and mow down all obstacles, to the extent that they may even attempt to interfere at their children's workplaces, regarding salaries and promotions, after they have graduated from college and are supposedly living on their own. As the children of "helicopter parents" graduate and move into the job market, personnel and human resources departments are becoming acquainted with the phenomenon as well. Some have reported that parents have even begun intruding on salary negotiations. An extension of the term, "Black Hawk parents," has been coined for those who cross the line from a mere excess of zeal to unethical behavior, such as writing their children's college admission essays.
    Origins
    The term "helicopter parents" is a pejorative expression for parents that has been widely used in the media; however, there has been little academic research into the phenomenon. Foster W. Cline, M.D. and Jim Fay coined and defined "helicopter parents" very precisely in a section on "ineffective parenting styles" in their 1990 book Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility. It gained wide currency when Americancollegeadministrators began using it in the early 2000s as the Millennial Generation began reaching college age. Their Baby Boomer parents in turn earned notoriety for practices such as calling their children each morning to wake them up for class and complaining to their professors about grades the children had received. Some of these parents had chosen their child's college and hired consultants to help fine-tune the application process. Summer camp officials have also reported similar behavior from parents.
    The rise of the cell phone is often blamed for the explosion of helicopter parenting — it has been called "the world's longest umbilical cord". Parents, for their part, point to rising college tuitions, saying they are just protecting their investment or acting like any other consumer.
    The phenomenon is described in the British novel "May Contain Nuts" by John O'Farrell. The novel was subsequently made into a television show. In the novel, a child's mother poses as her daughter in order to take her daughter's upper school entrance exams -- since she doesn't trust her daughter to do well enough on the examinations herself. The novel nicely illustrates the paradox of a parent wishing to help their child to achieve success while simultaneously undermining their child's self-esteem through preventing them from either achieving independence or experiencing the consequences of their own actions. In Britain, officials have been contemplating changes to their policies regarding the process of applying to university -- largely due to rising numbers of helicopter parents.
    The American website "college-confidential" also provides many venues for parents to be closely involved in their children's college application processes and frequently includes discussions of the phenomenon of helicopter parenting -- with parents debating whether it is appropriate to be involved in helping an adult child select university classes to take, whether parents should expect to communicate with university professors or staff to resolve problems like textbook availability or roommate issues, and whether parents should then go on to be involved in decisions regarding postgraduate studies such as whether or not to earn an MA or MD degree.
    Risk Aversion
    Risk management is a key skill for everybody, but which some children are denied; helicopter parents often restrict their children's activities. Alongside the constant supervision of children is extreme risk aversion and a disproportionate paranoia about risks covered in media reports such as paedophilia. Children are encouraged to spend more time indoors, for example watching television, instead of exploring outdoors. The longer term risks of these practices, such as obesity, bad health and poor risk assessment are accepted because of the perceived child protection advantages. It also deepens generational segregation, encouraging children to view adults as potential abusers.
    Institutions such as schools often follow similar risk-averse principles, keeping children in the classroom for more time and forbidding even those activities previously considered a normal part of life. In the longer term, the children remain inexperienced both in dealing with the real world, and in making decisions.
    Alternatives
    To counter the risk aversion, some parents propose stepping back and allowing children to do their own thing. The term "Slow parenting" from Carl Honoré's book Under Pressure, and the books The Idle Parent and Free-Range Kids are broadly equivalent. Forest kindergartens are common in Scandinavia and growing in other countries such as Scotland. Outdoor education or play is gradually gaining popularity.

    Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helicopter_parent


    Check yourself – Are you a Helicopter Parent?
    http://www.babyzone.com/mom_dad/quiz/helicopter-parent
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  • #2
    What a coincidence! The other day, I went to an orientation where, for the parents, they had these sessions to assure them that their children are in good hands at the university and that if the parents ever need anything, they can turn to the school. Some time later, we got involved in some activities that were aimed at reminding parents that they should not over-shelter their children, especially in a world like today's, and that they can be still caring and loving without being physically closer to their children who are now going to college.

    So, one of the activities was like ... asking us (I was sitting in the audience just for fun) which kind of parent we think we are or would be. And I went for the helicopter parent :p Turns out, it's not the best type! lol. In fact, studies have shown that the effects of such parenting style can be quite unhealthy for the kids.

    There are two other types. No doubt, every single parent wants the best for her/his children, and all parents want their kids to have the best of all worlds as well as learn how be on their own just in case fate occurs.

    In a nutshell, here's what each one is about.

    ~ Helicopter parents: They are the ones who over-parent. They're always there for their children no matter what and always have their eyes over their kids, always "hovering over" them (hence, "helicopter"), BUT they don't give space for their kids to grow and learn on their own. Because the parents are always with the kids or are always there for them, the kids never get a chance to figure things out on their own. Children raised by this type of parents might not, for example, know how to live on their own if they ever have to.

    ~ .... omg! I forget the other two! One had the word "blue" in it, I think, and the other ... I don't remember at all.

    Well, the idea is that all parents are different, some being more authoritarian than others, and each style of parenting has its pros and cons. Sometimes we go a bit too far in our love for our kids, either being too strict or too lenient, and we don't realize that we're inviting more damage (often mental) to our children's lives than removing or preventing it.
    Last edited by Guest; 08-17-2010, 12:05 AM.

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    • #3
      i scored pipteen. so who has children?

      I am no bird, and no nest ensnares me.

      non commercial would cost less if he was in charge himself which he plans on doing. right now it's n herat but soon it will be in qanadahar.

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      • #4
        you should be. they are like the devil except you can't chase them around the house with a frying pan in hand....

        I am no bird, and no nest ensnares me.

        non commercial would cost less if he was in charge himself which he plans on doing. right now it's n herat but soon it will be in qanadahar.

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        • #5
          I thought this was of a story of a mother who gave birth to a child in a helicopter while flying over some exotic ...far away place.

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          • #6
            May I ask where my mind is?

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            • #7
              ^ LOL that's not true :|

              When I read the title it reminded me of this Afghan boy who was born on a plane when coming to america lol...

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              • #8
                ^ I knew this Afghan boy when I was younger and he was born on a plane that was up in the air, flying.

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                • #9
                  ^ LOL I think he was an International Citizen =)

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                  • #10
                    I am not sure to be honest ... I just remember people saying that when we were younger ...

                    I tried researching it a bit now, but I didn't get a clarified answer... if anyone knows more about this, you're more than welcome to join..or if I find out, I'll get back to you

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                    • #11
                      Well this is in reference to a child being born on a plane up in the air over international waters (the plane wasn't over land or water that was someone's territory).

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