Friendship

[Zayam]

I open my mailbox here on PF, or other mailboxes on other sites. A long list of friends. How do friends help me? Will we actually ever meet, any of us? I have my difficulties, maybe you have yours. Any of my friends here who know me a little, maybe know that the past year, certainly the past 6 months have been and continue to be very difficult ones.

What I have realized is that; I am alone. Only Allah can help me now. Each day I am searching for answers, yet I wonder .....I think the only place to find them is with Allah. With Allah there is a tiny ray of hope. With Allah there is a small sense of being where I need to be....

Sometimes I feel weak, sometimes I feel strong....just feelings...what is reality? As I told my dearest mentor yesterday. The perfect metaphor is that I am ill, and Allah is my medicine. If I do not take my medicine then I will die.

So my friends, if you are my friends, pray that I take it. Because...

I am sure I would commit suicide were it not for this medicine.

[Nora]

how dose freinds help u?

[Dervaish]

How dare you say, you are alon?

You are not alone. Be strong. Read these Ayas from the Quran. Read them again and again until you really absorb them into your heart and start feeling that this is the reality. The strongest and the most powerful Entity is with you all the time and wherever you are. وَهُوَ مَعَكُمْ أَيْنَ مَا كُنتُمْۚ(and He is with you wherever you are. 57:4). He loves you. يُحِبُّهُمْ وَيُحِبُّونَهُ (He will love, who loves Him. 5:54)
Listen to Him. He whispers into you heart وَلَقَدْ خَلَقْنَا الْإِنسَانَ وَنَعْلَمُ مَا تُوَسْوِسُ بِهِ نَفْسُهُ ۖ وَنَحْنُ أَقْرَبُ إِلَيْهِ مِنْ حَبْلِ الْوَرِيدِ (And We have already created man and know what his soul whispers to him, and We are closer to him than [his] main Artery. 50:16)
It is difficult to feel Him so close to you. You need some practice to get into those feeling.( If you need help, talk to me I will help you in this practice.)
You said that you have many friends. Then you should not feel alone. Trust your friends. They are good and honest people. You show your trust, they will trust you. Talk to them other than your loneliness and problems. Stop thinking of your past, your errors and mistakes, these are gone and do not exist any more. Free yourself of the past. Learn to live in the present. Allah has created every thing in plenty for you. Enjoy all the Gifts of Allah. Don’t reject this beautiful world. Thinking of suicide is like cutting all your relationship with that Power. He says, whatever He has given you, He is not withholding from you. It is you that you try to reject. Change your attitude from rejection to acceptance and you will see the beauty all around you. Enjoy it. This beauty of the world, of people and friends, is for you and you alone.
HOW DARE YOU SAY YOU ARE ALONE?

[IamDZJ]

you can't understand allah unless you understand and come in to terms with yourself so allah can't help you with anything unless you learn to help yourself.
some of you might have heard me say this before but i will still say it again, i don't believe in friendships. one doesn't need to be emotionally attached to others in order to feel good about them self. good times, good people and good company..i don't have a need for whatever form of protection being surrounded by people provides..once a month i empty my pf contact's list because it holds no importance to me. i know it upsets some of you ..i need that isolation in order to focus on what is happening around me. i feel distracted otherwise. what is the point of having a list with a bunch of names in it? do i need to assure you of your spot in my regards?

there are some of you in this forum with a little bit more understanding of where i come from emotionally. if i wake up in the morning and feel like crying, i do that. i take as much time as it takes to sit there and cry but then i get up and move on with my day. if today i am sad, it's alright. tomorrow is a different day. don't question it, just live it and hope for a better tomorrow. when you accept that , you become your own best friend and believe me, you will never be alone.

self pity kills. believe me, i know all about it.

[Zayam]

You are not alone. Be strong. Read these Ayas from the Quran. Read them again and again until you really absorb them into your heart and start feeling that this is the reality. The strongest and the most powerful Entity is with you all the time and wherever you are. وَهُوَ مَعَكُمْ أَيْنَ مَا كُنتُمْۚ(and He is with you wherever you are. 57:4). He loves you. يُحِبُّهُمْ وَيُحِبُّونَهُ (He will love, who loves Him. 5:54)
Listen to Him. He whispers into you heart وَلَقَدْ خَلَقْنَا الْإِنسَانَ وَنَعْلَمُ مَا تُوَسْوِسُ بِهِ نَفْسُهُ ۖ وَنَحْنُ أَقْرَبُ إِلَيْهِ مِنْ حَبْلِ الْوَرِيدِ (And We have already created man and know what his soul whispers to him, and We are closer to him than [his] main Artery. 50:16)
It is difficult to feel Him so close to you. You need some practice to get into those feeling.( If you need help, talk to me I will help you in this practice.)
You said that you have many friends. Then you should not feel alone. Trust your friends. They are good and honest people. You show your trust, they will trust you. Talk to them other than your loneliness and problems. Stop thinking of your past, your errors and mistakes, these are gone and do not exist any more. Free yourself of the past. Learn to live in the present. Allah has created every thing in plenty for you. Enjoy all the Gifts of Allah. Don’t reject this beautiful world. Thinking of suicide is like cutting all your relationship with that Power. He says, whatever He has given you, He is not withholding from you. It is you that you try to reject. Change your attitude from rejection to acceptance and you will see the beauty all around you. Enjoy it. This beauty of the world, of people and friends, is for you and you alone.
HOW DARE YOU SAY YOU ARE ALONE?

-----I said I was alone, as far as my own situation goes, that NO HUMAN PERSON can help me.... because as I have said, Allah is my only true friend, and so in a way like DaZahroJaam said, I can only be helped if I am ready to help myself...and my help comes from Allah.

Sometimes I experience the hand of Allah in someone else, but rarely, lately. So even here where my "friends list" consists of 20+/- names, few of those on my list have even an inkling of who I am, or I of them. I don't even know if it matters. I just think we use the word "Friend" too lightly. I think often in the modern world we do not have time to be true friends.

So today I am cynical maybe of the idea of friendship. I made friends with some people when my oldest children were very small, and am friends with them still....but lately few have time for this, and even those friends live far far away.

......enough said

[Khan Gul]

-----I said I was alone, as far as my own situation goes, that NO HUMAN PERSON can help me.... because as I have said, Allah is my only true friend, and so in a way like DaZahroJaam said, I can only be helped if I am ready to help myself...and my help comes from Allah.

Sometimes I experience the hand of Allah in someone else, but rarely, lately. So even here where my "friends list" consists of 20+/- names, few of those on my list have even an inkling of who I am, or I of them. I don't even know if it matters. I just think we use the word "Friend" too lightly. I think often in the modern world we do not have time to be true friends.

So today I am cynical maybe of the idea of friendship. I made friends with some people when my oldest children were very small, and am friends with them still....but lately few have time for this, and even those friends live far far away.

......enough said

Zayam,

Friends due to personal limitations and specific life situation, have to sometimes compromise and fall short in innumerable ways, but should this make us cynical of the idea of friendship?

We might come from different countries, cultures, backgrounds and social levels; but the primary identification, between us is common: We are all human beings and this forges a strong, sure bond of brother/sisterhood between us which make our tiny momentary communication meaningful and precious.

[*Mahzala*]

Zayam,

When we, in whatever way it is, express our love for Allah, it is that point that changes our lives. We are then tested, trial after trial, hardship after hardship, so much, we get to a point that living a day with no worries and fears seems abnormal. Needless to say, the reasons are a question of our sincerity and honesty of our intentions to ourselves, for Allah is the All Knower. Our strength, our faith in His mercy, in the faith that He is sufficient for us, they are all tested in every way, shape and form. Today, you are in this boat. But at the same time, Allah has given you contentment and peace that you seldom recognise within yourself. Having contentment does not mean that the waves wont sail high, rather it means that no waves or wind can sink the ship you are sailing. It means you are given divine perseverance to respond to the calamities of your life. You have something people search for all their lives. They look for it in other things, in money, in earnings, in immoral pleasure, in strengthening ties, yet they push to go on, in search fore more. Life is sacred, there is nothing more sacred to Allah than life. You are gifted in so many ways, to have turned (back) to Him, to seek His love and pleasure, to recognise your problems and seek ways out of them through His mercy, to love and dislike for His sake. These are all gifts and blessings, from Him. Many a place in the Glorious Speech of Allah we are reminded of this, of Him being sufficient for us, of our closeness to Him and of the trials he sets out for men of understanding. So long as we understand this, there is light and hope.

I know, this has little to do with your thread about friendships, and so I apologise for going off topic, or 'saying too much', as you would say.

[*Mahzala*]

you can't understand allah unless you understand and come in to terms with yourself so allah can't help you with anything unless you learn to help yourself.
some of you might have heard me say this before but i will still say it again, i don't believe in friendships. one doesn't need to be emotionally attached to others in order to feel good about them self. good times, good people and good company..i don't have a need for whatever form of protection being surrounded by people provides..once a month i empty my pf contact's list because it holds no importance to me. i know it upsets some of you ..i need that isolation in order to focus on what is happening around me. i feel distracted otherwise. what is the point of having a list with a bunch of names in it? do i need to assure you of your spot in my regards?

there are some of you in this forum with a little bit more understanding of where i come from emotionally. if i wake up in the morning and feel like crying, i do that. i take as much time as it takes to sit there and cry but then i get up and move on with my day. if today i am sad, it's alright. tomorrow is a different day. don't question it, just live it and hope for a better tomorrow. when you accept that , you become your own best friend and believe me, you will never be alone.

self pity kills. believe me, i know all about it.

This speaks volumes. Khuday de lara.

[afridi_iphone]

Humans are social creatures by nature; they are always in need of friends and companions. Most of our lives depend on interaction with others. Strong individuals are the core of a strong community, something that Muslims should always strive for.

We all know that Allah (SWT) the Most High has brought us to life in order to test us. Thus we are here for a relatively short period of time and that we shall meet Allah (SWT) one Day, so we need to use our present life for what is best for us in the hereafter. Once we know our purpose and our goal in life, we should seek ways to achieve them so as to benefit our own selves.

In an authentic Hadith, Prophet Mohammad (SAW) said: "Man is influenced by the faith of his friends. Therefore, be careful of whom you associate with."

How should we choose our friends? We should choose the friend that believes and abide by our religion (Islam) and gives great respect to what Allah (SWT) and Prophet Mohammad (SAW) has ordered us. And we should stay away from that that is not well mannered and gives no attention to what Islam is about or what pleases or displeases Allah (SWT), for he will surely affect us negatively. There is no good in the companion drowns us in sins and displeasing Allah (SWT).

In another Hadith, Prophet Mohammad (SAW) said: "The example of a good companion and a bad companion is like that of the seller of musk, and the one who blows the blacksmith's bellows. So as for the seller of musk then either he will grant you some, or you buy some from him, or at least you enjoy a pleasant smell from him. As for the one who blows the blacksmith's bellows then either he will burn your clothes or you will get an offensive smell from him."

When choosing our friends we should ask ourselves first: Are they going to help us achieve the purpose for which we were brought to life? Or will they take us away from it? Will they desire for us Allah (SWT)'s pleasure or is that completely irrelevant to them and not their concern at all? Are they leading us to Paradise or to the Hell?

Once the Prophet Mohammad (SAW) was asked, "What person can be the best friend?" "He who helps you remember Allah (SWT), and reminds you when you forget Him," the Prophet Mohammad (SAW), counselled.


That's I do too what you doing even though every person does that. I have emails from my friends since 2004 and when i read those emails, i feel like my heart is going to burst because at the place where I am now is totally isolated place and I am sad, alone and feel shallow. I missed all my friends from the past. But we cannot do anything because we human are born on nature. We cannot do anything because we are weak. We are hopeless and soon we lost our courage. Same as I do believe on the above last lines 100% and these think killing me inside. Sometimes I want to kill myself when nothing comes in. But as I said we are puppet humans and He is the master of all. So don't worry and do whatever you can and don't consider you good deeds that you will get something back from people or friends but have a naya that Allah (SWT) is there and He is watching you and me. He will honour me and you from my and your good deeds. Be honest always. Allah (SWT) is not cruel or does unjustly to you or me but He will reward us if not in this duniya for sure in the hereafter He will. And one thing more you are not only alone but perhaps everyone is alone in this world because this duniya is not for us. We are for this duniya to survive in it.

You know sometimes, guilt and desires are just there to carry you to your destiny. Ultimately, you will get what you truly want, and you will be forgiven for any flaws. And when I say forgiven, I mean you will be as clean as if you never had those flaws. And that Allah bestows upon us by His knowledge, which is beyond us, above us and inside us.

So cherish what Allah has given you, and be happy. He is the caretaker, and He is where we dump our worries to walk around shamelessly again. And trust me, there is no wrong in doing that because we don't have any another choice to go for beside Allah.

Also what I found out that; pray five times namaz, at least read Quran every morning in fajar time and be honest to your own self that's all then you will find inner peace enshAllah.

Forgive me if I said too much or over due...:P