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I’ll first address the issue of men having four wives before I answer your question as to why women can’t have multiple husbands.
I think that among many other misconceptions about Islam is the notion that it unconditionally allows a Muslim to have four wives. In this regard, some scholars have gone as far as to say that keeping four wives is a man’s essential physiological and physical need. I am afraid that this point of view is in direct contradiction with the Qur'an. It is, in fact, a distortion of the stance of Islam and as such has gone a long way in disillusioning many a people from the call of this faith.
According to the Qur'an, in normal circumstances, a family comes into being only through wedlock between a single pair of man and woman. A subtle reference to this is made by the Qur'an where it alludes to the fact
that when the Almighty created Adam, he made Eve for him as his only wife. Naturally, had the Almighty intended that a man should have more than one wife, he would have created more wives for Adam instead of just one. This shows us that as far as a man’s physiological needs are concerned, they are completely satisfied even if he has a single wife. Also, in normal circumstances the ideal family is one formed by a single couple.
However, there may be circumstances in which polygamy may solve certain social problems. The permission is, in fact, a proof of the universal applicability of Islam. A number of problems can be solved by using this
permission which would have been impossible to overcome had Islam totally forbidden polygamy. For example, in our society, many young widows and divorced women with small children have to live a life of misery and no one is willing to accept them as wives. Such widows and children can lead normal lives if this permission is benefited from. Similarly, many young Muslimah converts who have been abandoned by their non-Muslim husbands need Muslim husbands.
Consequently a similar need had arisen in the time of the Prophet (saw) when many Muslims were martyred in various battles. Many helpless widows and children were left behind. In this situation, Muslims were urged to look after these children and if they feared that they would not be able to do justice to them, they should marry their mothers. The opening verses of Surah Nisaa, in which this matter is discussed, read as follows:
"If you fear that you would not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry two, three or four of the women who are lawful for you. But if you fear that you would not be able to deal justly [with them] then [restrict yourself to] one only." (4:3)
Three implications of the verse quoted above are very clear:
Firstly, Muslims have been allowed to have more than one wife only in case of some indispensable need.
Secondly, whatever the need be, the number of wives cannot exceed four in any circumstances.
Thirdly, howsoever important the need be, if a person cannot maintain balance and do justice to his wives, he must restrict himself to one. It is, therefore, obvious from this that the permission of marrying more
than one wife has nothing to do with a man’s lust for more than one wife. A person can have more than one wife if a moral or social need arises and a man’s lust is certainly no such need. .
With this background, I’ll now come to your question regarding polyandry (woman having many husbands at the same time). A recent case published in Times Newspapers Ltd. on Dec 18th 2001 comes to mind. A actress Liz Hurley living with her boyfriend Steve Bing, bacame pregnant but her boyfriend maintains that he isn't sure of being the father of the child and that he and his partner were not in an 'exclusive' relationship. Adrienne Burges, author of Fatherhood Reclaimed, a study of fathers, says that about a third of married men, become dads involuntarily. How can any man take the wholehearted responsibility of a child if he isn't sure that he is a father and the state of Single mothers is pathetic, to say the least.
It is also a common sense that if a family is to come into being not only should there be only one head but also one person should not be placed under the command of multiple heads other wise, great anarchy would result. Since, in the family set up envisaged by Islam, husbands are to head the family and tend too all their financial and material needs, if a wife has multiple husbands, she would be placed under the authority of many husbands at the same time. This of course would only hasten to tear apart the fabric of a family unit. There can be only one King and Queen or a President and the First Lady, in a country. Similarly, the lineage of the child borne by a woman having more than one husband cannot be envisaged. How would the father be ascertained? Someone might say that a DNA test would be able to do so, But how feasible was/is this. An inclusion rate of 99% leaves a huge room for 1% doubt and a fees of US$450 is nothing less than prohibitory. However, even if this test is used in the present era, there still are great chances of dissent between all the husbands with one claiming to be the father and the other denying him, or if the child born has a handicap or has lesser aptitude, then all the fathers might want to cash on the 1% chances of the failure of the test and try to shy away from shouldering the responsibility of that invalid child of theirs. Such system, would be a sure mess, not only for the society, but more for the women involved.
I think that among many other misconceptions about Islam is the notion that it unconditionally allows a Muslim to have four wives. In this regard, some scholars have gone as far as to say that keeping four wives is a man’s essential physiological and physical need. I am afraid that this point of view is in direct contradiction with the Qur'an. It is, in fact, a distortion of the stance of Islam and as such has gone a long way in disillusioning many a people from the call of this faith.
According to the Qur'an, in normal circumstances, a family comes into being only through wedlock between a single pair of man and woman. A subtle reference to this is made by the Qur'an where it alludes to the fact
that when the Almighty created Adam, he made Eve for him as his only wife. Naturally, had the Almighty intended that a man should have more than one wife, he would have created more wives for Adam instead of just one. This shows us that as far as a man’s physiological needs are concerned, they are completely satisfied even if he has a single wife. Also, in normal circumstances the ideal family is one formed by a single couple.
However, there may be circumstances in which polygamy may solve certain social problems. The permission is, in fact, a proof of the universal applicability of Islam. A number of problems can be solved by using this
permission which would have been impossible to overcome had Islam totally forbidden polygamy. For example, in our society, many young widows and divorced women with small children have to live a life of misery and no one is willing to accept them as wives. Such widows and children can lead normal lives if this permission is benefited from. Similarly, many young Muslimah converts who have been abandoned by their non-Muslim husbands need Muslim husbands.
Consequently a similar need had arisen in the time of the Prophet (saw) when many Muslims were martyred in various battles. Many helpless widows and children were left behind. In this situation, Muslims were urged to look after these children and if they feared that they would not be able to do justice to them, they should marry their mothers. The opening verses of Surah Nisaa, in which this matter is discussed, read as follows:
"If you fear that you would not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry two, three or four of the women who are lawful for you. But if you fear that you would not be able to deal justly [with them] then [restrict yourself to] one only." (4:3)
Three implications of the verse quoted above are very clear:
Firstly, Muslims have been allowed to have more than one wife only in case of some indispensable need.
Secondly, whatever the need be, the number of wives cannot exceed four in any circumstances.
Thirdly, howsoever important the need be, if a person cannot maintain balance and do justice to his wives, he must restrict himself to one. It is, therefore, obvious from this that the permission of marrying more
than one wife has nothing to do with a man’s lust for more than one wife. A person can have more than one wife if a moral or social need arises and a man’s lust is certainly no such need. .
With this background, I’ll now come to your question regarding polyandry (woman having many husbands at the same time). A recent case published in Times Newspapers Ltd. on Dec 18th 2001 comes to mind. A actress Liz Hurley living with her boyfriend Steve Bing, bacame pregnant but her boyfriend maintains that he isn't sure of being the father of the child and that he and his partner were not in an 'exclusive' relationship. Adrienne Burges, author of Fatherhood Reclaimed, a study of fathers, says that about a third of married men, become dads involuntarily. How can any man take the wholehearted responsibility of a child if he isn't sure that he is a father and the state of Single mothers is pathetic, to say the least.
It is also a common sense that if a family is to come into being not only should there be only one head but also one person should not be placed under the command of multiple heads other wise, great anarchy would result. Since, in the family set up envisaged by Islam, husbands are to head the family and tend too all their financial and material needs, if a wife has multiple husbands, she would be placed under the authority of many husbands at the same time. This of course would only hasten to tear apart the fabric of a family unit. There can be only one King and Queen or a President and the First Lady, in a country. Similarly, the lineage of the child borne by a woman having more than one husband cannot be envisaged. How would the father be ascertained? Someone might say that a DNA test would be able to do so, But how feasible was/is this. An inclusion rate of 99% leaves a huge room for 1% doubt and a fees of US$450 is nothing less than prohibitory. However, even if this test is used in the present era, there still are great chances of dissent between all the husbands with one claiming to be the father and the other denying him, or if the child born has a handicap or has lesser aptitude, then all the fathers might want to cash on the 1% chances of the failure of the test and try to shy away from shouldering the responsibility of that invalid child of theirs. Such system, would be a sure mess, not only for the society, but more for the women involved.
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