~ "May Allah guide you! hahaha"

[Mayana]

Salamalaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatu..

today I want to address an issue that I've become aware of recently and that I am guilty of as well.
It is the usage of Islam to bring across a Non-Islamic point.. or coating one's own non Islamic actions or intentions with Islam.

One will be arguing with another and the two will be in such a huge disagreement with one another that one gets SO frustrated and replies "HA!! may Allah swt guide you haha no one else can help you loolllll" in front of everyone. The person who does that does it with an intention to hurt the other, to ridicule the other, the humiliate the other in front of the people surrounding them. If he really wanted to pray for the person and reallly cared about his/her well-being and guidance, he would pray for him in private, he would include him/her in his daily prayers rather than to hurt him/her and tell him/her that they are "a lost case".

Another example..
there's a group of people and some just prayed and some are about to pray and some didn't pray. Now if one of the people who prayed tell one of the people who haven't prayed something like "Why don't you pray? Do you fast? Why don't you fast? What kind of life do you live? Why do you have such difficulties submitting to your Lord? I always pray, no matter where I go. I cannot live a day without it. ", it really defeats the whole purpose. If you humiliate a person like that in front of everyone, it's really obvious that you are putting them down in order to make yourself look better. Also, it is very obvious that you don't really care about the person's prayer and their guidance in general.. because if you did, you would take them aside and tell them in private. It is a very delicate issue and if you address it so tactlessly and in public, you're gonna achieve the opposite and scare the person away.


What's the saddest is that we say such things in order to put our selves higher, or as Nouman Ali Khan said, to boost our own ego through the means of Islam. Islam came as a humbling religion, we're supposed to be humble and yet, we use it as an excuse to be anything but humble. We use Islam as a means and as an excuse to be unislamic.

We have to keep in mind that when we say such things or make a "humiliating dua" for someone and CLAIM that we do it for their best and pretend that it is Dawa.. we can fool everyone else, we cannot fool Allah swt. He sees what is inside our hearts and he knows our intentions maybe better than we know them ourselves. And we will get rewarded for our intentions not our actions themselves. So if I tell someone "May Allah swt guide you hahah" in a degrading tone an with the intention to hurt the person, I will not get rewarded for making a Duaa, I'll rather get punished for humiliating someone.

So let's try to keep our intentions clean and our heart soft and inshAllah our actions will improve as well and we will become better human beings.


This is just a reminder for myself and maybe others it might apply to.

[Pakhtunzai]

I've been humiliated in the past by people too and I stayed away from praying in the masjid for years because of that one incident. Thats why one should encourage and build the confidence in a fellow muslim rather than push them away from islam.

Good article khor, keep it up!

[Palwasha]

Wa'alaykum aslaam, Wa'rahmatullahi Wa'barakatuhu.

You're absolutely right, it's utterly wrong to humiliate a person in order to teach them something, if anything you drive further from you and the message you're trying to convey. If someone is blissfully unaware of something, it's not always their fault.

Your post reminds me of a story I once read about the grandchildren of the Prophet (SAW):

"An old man sat to do his wudhu. But his wudhu was not correct. Hasan and Hussain the grandsons of the Prophet (S.A.W.), then two young boys, watched him. They immediately realized that the old man was not doing his wudhu correctly, but hesitated to tell him directly. Perhaps the old man would feel humiliated by two young boys, or he might even lose interest in the act of worship.

Sitting next to him, they started to do the wudhu and during the wudhu, Hasan said: "Oh Hussain my wudhu is correct and more perfect than yours."

In reply, Hussain insisted that his own wudhu was better than Hasan's.

Finally they said: "Let us refer to this gentleman. He is older than us and should be able to decide."

The old man was listening patiently. The boys performed their wudhu under his supervision, one after the other. And when they had finished, he realized the wudhu done by the boys was methodical and correct. It was his own wudhu which was incorrect. Turning to Hasan and Hussain, he gently said: "The wudhu done by you is correct. I am grateful that you chose to guide me in such a beautiful manner."

They neither criticized the old man, nor reproached him for his ignorance of the ruling of Islam. Moreover, they did not refer to his way of performing Wudu, nor did they call his action void. Rather, they performed Wudu themselves and taught the old man its correct way indirectly. The result of this polite and wise criticism was that the old man confessed to his mistake explicitly, learned how to perform Wudu correctly, and thanked them with kindness and pleasure.

To humilaite others is essentially an act of arrogance, and maybe we are sometimes guilty of committing it ourselves, which is why this is a great reminder, and as Allah SWT says:

"Nor walk on the earth with insolence: for thou can not rend the earth asunder, nor reach the mountains in height." (17:37)

"And swell not thy cheek (for pride) at men, nor walk in insolence through the earth; for God loveth not any arrogant boaster."(31:18)

Thanks for the reminder Mayana. =)

[Iqra]

Walaikum Asalaam WaRahmatullahi WaBaratuhu :D

Agree that it is wrong to humiliate ...and taunt and what not.

As far as making dua though, minus the laughing at part, I personally like to end a disagreement or whatever is occurring at times with a dua for the other person... It helps me if I am getting agitated/ frustrated .. and it's usually a sincere dua for the other person and one's self... we're all reliant on Khuday tala's guidance.

[Mayana]

Yes, me too, I like to mention a short Dua at the end, such as "May Allah swt guide us all." "Allaahu alam" "May we all be guided to the right way." "Khoday ta'la di mujh tolo ta Idaayat raki" .. I like to mention "us" rather than "you". It less condescending and more sincere.


It can lead to scaring people away.. like in Pashtunzai's example. So it's rather counterproductive.