Spousal Beating in Islam

[Roshina]

4. Men have been given the "authority" to beat their wives if the latter are "rebellious" but what about those men who are rebellious, who will deal with them?

No, Dawezai ... not just "those women who ARE rebellious" but those women whose rebellion the husbands FEAR! Imagine the implications of that. I find that more scarier.

REF: "As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, ..." and "As for those from whom ye fear rebellion, ..."

[Roshina]

One thing I always feel obligated to point out is this (I blogged on this recently, so I'm pasting):

In 4:34, the term nushooz magically means "disloyalty/ill-conduct" (because it relates to women!) but in verse 4:128, the exact same word means "desertion" (because it relates to men!) -- in verse 58:11, it means "desertion" as well. "Desertion" is the actual meaning of the Arabic nushooz, too, according to many Arabic scholars.

Here's how the verse looks with no translation of the controversial and disturbing terms:

Men are the {qawwam} of women, because Allah has given the one more than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are {qanitat}, and guard in the husband's absence what Allah would have them guard. As to those women on whose part ye fear {nushuz}, admonish them first, then refuse to share their beds, and finally {adriboo} them; but when they {ataa:} to you, then seek not against them means of annoyance: For Allah is Most High, great above you all.

Here's Ahmed Ali's translation -- quite interesting:

Men are the support of women as God gives some more means than others, and because they spend of their wealth (to provide for them). So women who are virtuous are obedient to God and guard the hidden as God has guarded it. As for women you feel are averse, talk to them suasively; then leave them alone in bed (without molesting them) and go to bed with them (when they are willing). If they open out to you, do not seek an excuse for blaming them. Surely God is sublime and great.

[IamDZJ]

you are supposed to beat your wife if you feel intimidated by her? so it's all about the survival of the fittest after all..
good old legacy of the cavemen days..how can we possibly leave you behind?

[شمله ور خراساني]

the only few wifebeaters I know are total ignorants who dont know anything about Islam. Or secularists.

[شمله ور خراساني]

A good man would be educated enough to know not to hit his wife.
a good wife would be educated enough to know not to insult,disrespect her husband.

Islam does not encourage spousal beating although I have a few questions about some of its policies towards women. I dont feel comfortable discussing them in public. I might PM Mahzala.

beating your wife should be over something really grave. Something really bad. Not just arguments.

Like spending too much money on golden jewelry and make up while the husband is unempployed and refusing to obey her husband and stop squandering all his money on golden jewelry and make up.

[Levanaye Zalmaye]

.

[amna.]

beating your wife should be over something really grave. Something really bad. Not just arguments.

Like spending too much money on golden jewelry and make up while the husband is unempployed and refusing to obey her husband and stop squandering all his money on golden jewelry and make up.

Does beating solve a problem in the 21st century?

If LZ insults me would punching him in the face really help him in not insulting me next time or would a conversation help us? I love Islam but I am against hitting us weak creatures.

[Dust]

Now where would I find a miswaak?

[شمله ور خراساني]

Does beating solve a problem in the 21st century?

If LZ insults me would punching him in the face really help him in not insulting me next time or would a conversation help us? I love Islam but I am against hitting us weak creatures.

You should read the entire thread. Beating is a last resort. And it is only applicable in extreme situations. When all channels of communication have failed.

But it is not obligatory. And neither are we encouraged to do it whenever we please. because the prophet muhammad saww never used force to control his wives.

And about LZ. I dont know what kind of a relationship you have with LZ, but I wouldn't know much about how you can solve your fall outs with a kaafir.

[JAMALUDEEN]

You should read the entire thread. Beating is a last resort. And it is only applicable in extreme situations. When all channels of communication have failed.

But it is not obligatory. And neither are we encouraged to do it whenever we please. because the prophet muhammad saww never used force to control his wives.

And about LZ. I dont know what kind of a relationship you have with LZ, but I wouldn't know much about how you can solve your fall outs with a kaafir.

They could talk about colonizing the space, for a change of topic.

[Levanaye Zalmaye]

Does beating solve a problem in the 21st century?

If LZ insults me would punching him in the face really help him in not insulting me next time or would a conversation help us? I love Islam but I am against hitting us weak creatures.

I'd rather have us resolve our issues over dinner tomorrow night. What say you?


@Dust, how much for a dozen? I don't want the flimsy types that would break on impact.

[Dust]

lol

[BehavedMaseed]

No wonder here in the UK most of the domestic violence patients we see in the wards always turn out to be Muslim women who have married very strong practicing Muslim Husbands.

Why do these Wahabis always resort to violence to get their own way. If the West turns to violence on them, they will start acting like the victim and write nasheeds about the cruelty they go through being Muslims etc etc etc.

Kind Regards

[IamDZJ]

the first few minutes of this video relates to this topic..
YouTube - Ptv Drama Rahein Part 73/77

[Bigmo]

No, Dawezai ... not just "those women who ARE rebellious" but those women whose rebellion the husbands FEAR! Imagine the implications of that. I find that more scarier.

REF: "As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, ..." and "As for those from whom ye fear rebellion, ..."

The Quran says regarding more than just fear but even if the husband actually sees her in bed with another man to produce 4 witnesses. If not he has to swear four times and she can swear also. So how can the Quran say you can lay hands on her just because of some fear? This is a wrong reading of the Quran. A sectarian reading because they have hadiths that says men can beat women. These hadiths many of which have beduin origins have corrupted islam and the verses of the Quran.


2.6. And for those who launch a charge against their spouses, and have (in support) no evidence but their own,- their solitary evidence (can be received) if they bear witness four times (with an oath) by Allah that they are solemnly telling the truth;

7. And the fifth (oath) (should be) that they solemnly invoke the curse of Allah on themselves if they tell a lie.

8. But it would avert the punishment from the wife, if she bears witness four times (with an oath) By Allah, that (her husband) is telling a lie;

9. And the fifth (oath) should be that she solemnly invokes the wrath of Allah on herself if (her accuser) is telling the truth.
10. If it were not for Allah.s grace and mercy on you, and that Allah is Oft- Returning, full of Wisdom,- (Ye would be ruined indeed).


11. Those who brought forward the lie are a body among yourselves: think it not to be an evil to you; On the contrary it is good for you: to every man among them (will come the punishment) of the sin that he earned, and to him who took on himself the lead among them, will be a penalty grievous.

12. Why did not the believers - men and women - when ye heard of the affair,- put the best construction on it in their own minds and say, "This (charge) is an obvious lie" ?

13. Why did they not bring four witnesses to prove it? When they have not brought the witnesses, such men, in the sight of Allah, (stand forth) themselves as liars!
14. Were it not for the grace and mercy of Allah on you, in this world and the Hereafter, a grievous penalty would have seized you in that ye rushed glibly into this affair.

There is nothing called laying hands on anyone just out of fear.

Beating Women, or Beating around the Bush, or .....




By : Edip Yuksel

"Verse 4:34 of the Quran orders believers to beat their wives; so, Islam is a male dominant religion." Many of us have heard this criticism from Christians, atheists, agnostics, etc. Personally, every time I read 4:34, I felt that something was wrong. How does God, the Most Wise order us to beat our women? What kind of solution is that? It is in contrast to the verses in which God describes marriage:







"Among His signs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves, in order to have tranquility and contentment with each other. He places in your heart love and care towards your spouses. In this, there are signs for people who think." (30:21)






Obviously, this mixed messages have bothered many contemporary translators of the Quran. To avoid the moral and intellectual problems, they tried to soften the word "beat" when they translate the verse 4:34. For instance, Yusuf Ali uses a merciful parentheses after "beat" to save women:







". . . As to those women on whose part you fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly). . ." (4:34)






Many tried to 'beat' around the bush to 'beat' the problem generated by the 'beat' of 4:34.






When I finished the Turkish translation (1991), this verse was on the top of my orange list to study carefully. Whenever I encounter a problem regarding the understanding of a Quranic verse, I remember 20:114 and pray accordingly:






"Most Exalted is God, the only true King. Do not rush into (understanding) the Quran before it is revealed to you, an say, "My Lord, increase my knowledge"






Almost all of the translations have mistranslated the four key words or terms of this particular verse. These are: "Qawwamune," "Faddallallahu ba"dahum ala ba"d," "Nushuzehunne," and "Fadribuhunne." In our late book, "Errors in Turkish Translations" (Istanbul, 1992) we have discussed the real meaning of these words and the motivation and reasons for mistranslating them. Here, we will focus on the last word, "Fadribuhunne."






A Famous Multi-Meaning Word




The problem comes from the word "Idribuhunne" which we used to translate as "beat them". The root of this word is "DaRaBa". If you look at any Arabic dictionary you will find a long list of meanings ascribed to this word. That list is one of the longest list in whole Arabic dictionary. It can be said that "DaRaBa" is the number-one multi-meaning word in Arabic. It has so many different meanings, we can find numerous different meanings ascribed to it in the Quran.

• To travel, to get out: 3:156; 4:101; 38:44; 73:20; 2:273
• To strike: 2:60,73; 7:160; 8:12; 20:77; 24:31; 26:63; 37:93; 47:4
• To beat: 8:50; 47:27
• To set up: 43:58; 57:13
• To give (examples): 14:24,45; 16:75,76,112; 18:32,45; 24:35; 30:28,58; 36:78; 39:27,29; 43:17; 59:21; 66:10,11
• To take away, to ignore: 43:5
• To condemn: 2:61
• To seal, to draw over: 18:11
• To cover: 24:31
• To explain: 13:17

As you see, in Quran alone we can witness the verb "DaRaBa" having at least ten different meanings. "DaRaBa" has also other meanings which are not mentioned in the Quran. For example, in the Arabic language, you do not print money--you "DaRaBa" money, you do not multiply numbers--you "DaRaBa" numbers, you do not cease the work--you "DaRaBa" the work. In Turkish we have many verbs similar to DaRaBa, such as "tutmak", "calmak", "vurmak" etc. In English we have two verbs which are almost equivalent to "DaRaBa". These are "strike" and "beat".





Webster"s Dictionary gives fourteen meanings to the verb "strike": hit (against); ignite; (of snake) bite; (of plants) (cause to) take root; attack; hook (fish); sound (time) as bell in clock etc.; affect; arrive at, come upon; enter mind of; discover (gold, oil etc.); dismantle, remove; make (coin); cease work as protest or to make demands. The same dictionary gives eight meanings to the verb "beat": strike repeatedly; overcome; surpass; stir vigorously with striking action; flap (wings); make, wear (path); throb; sail against wind.






In the beginning of this article (underlined) I deliberately used "beat" in three different meanings in a single statement just to show the variety of meanings in a single word. In English, when we order someone to "beat it" we mean "get out". Similarly in Arabic, when we order someone with the commend form of "DaRaBa", that is "iDRiB", we mean "get out".






How Can We Find The Appropriate Meaning




When we encounter a multi-meaning word, we select the proper meaning according to the context, forms, and common sense. For instance, if we had have translated "DaRaBa" in 13:17 as "beat" instead of "explain", the meaning would be ridiculous:
. . . God thus beats the truth and falsehood" (13:17)






Another example of mistranslation of 'DaRaBa' can be found in the translation of 38:44. All the translations (except Dr. Khalifa"s translation) inject a male-made story to justify their silly translation. Here is how Yusuf Ali translates the verse about Job:

"And take in the hand a little grass, and strike therewith: and break not (the oath)."

Yusuf Ali, in the footnote narrates the traditional story: "He (Job) must have said in his haste to the woman that he would beat her: he is asked now to correct her with only a wisp of grass, to show that he was gentle and humble as well as patient and constant."






However, without injecting this story, we can translate it as the following:






"Now, you shall travel the land to fulfill your pledge (that is to deliver the message). We found him steadfast. What a good servant! He was a submitter" (38:44)






Let's turn back to 4:34






Additionally, the word "Nushuz" which is generally translated as "opposition" has another meaning which can be translated as degrees of disloyalty ranging from flirtation to sexual liaison. If we study 4:34 carefully we will find a clue that leads us to translate that word as "flirting or cheating" or "extramarital affair" (Any word or words that reflect the range of disloyalty in marriage). The clue is the phrase before "Nushuz" as reads: ". . . and observe God"s commandments, even when alone in their privacy." This phrase emphasizes the importance of loyalty in marriage life.






Furthermore, the same word "Nushuz" is used in 4:128, but it is used to describe the misbehavior of husbands not wives as was in 4:34. So, the traditional translation of "Nushuz", that is, "opposition" will not fit here. In vertical relations, "opposition" cannot be a double-edged behavior. So, translators try to avoid this contradiction by ascribing just the opposite meaning of "opposition", i.e., "oppression" in verse 4:128. However, the meaning of "Nushuz" as "disloyalty" is appropriate for both cases described in 4:34 and 4:128.






A Coherent Understanding





When we read 4:34 we should not understand "idribuhunne" as "beat those women". We must remember that this word has many meanings. God gives us three ways of dealing with extra-marital-affair. In the beginning stage of such misbehavior husband should start from giving advice. If it does not work and she goes further and commit a proven adultery, that time husband has the right to strike them out (4:34 & 65:1).





Let's present our suggestion for the translation of verse 4:34







"Men traditionally take care of women, since God has endowed each of them with certain qualities and men spend from their financial resources. The righteous women are obedient (to God) and during the absence (of their husband) they honor them according to God"s commandment. As for those women whom you are experiencing a fear of disloyalty from, you shall first advice them, then (if they continue) you may desert them in bed, then you may strike them out. If they obey you then don"t transgress against them. God is Most High, Supreme" (4:34).



Beating women who are cheating is not an ultimate solution; but 'striking them out' from your house is the best solution. And it is fair too.