Over Socializing – Having too many acquaintances

[شمله ور خراساني]

Source: ‘Biography of Imam Sufyaan ath-Thawri ‘. this book is sold by dar-us-salaam and the author is “Salaahud-Deen ibn Ali ibn Abdul-Maujood”
Sufyaan Ath-Thawri: A True Mountain of Knowledge & the Leader of Believers in Hadeeth


Sufyaan ath-Thawri (may Allah have mercy on him) said that one foolishly compromised one’s religion when one kept too many friends. Having too many acquaintances diverts one from one’s duty towards one’s Lord, for a person who has many friends is always busy socializing with them and fulfilling their rights over him; so he becomes preoccupied with people when he really should be preoccupied with his religious duties. The ill-effects of being too gregarious can last well beyond a social gathering. Sufyaan said, “I might meet a brother and as a result, remain heedless (of what I should be doing) for an entire month.”


A friend, Sufyaan insisted, should be someone who helps one to improve as a Muslim; otherwise he is not worth keeping as a friend. Sufyaan expressed this sentiment when he sad, “If someone is not with you, then he is against you.”


And Yousuf ibn Asbaat reported that he heard Sufyaan ath-Thawri say, “Whenever I spoke contrary to the desires of any man, he, regardless of who he was, would inevitably become furious with me. The people of knowledge and piety have departed.”


Sufyaan once advised someone to test the character of the person he wanted to befriend. Sufyaan said, “Choose whoever you want as your companion. But when you have made your choice, make him angry, and then order someone to go and ask him what he thinks about you-without him knowing that you sent that person.”


Bakr ibn Muhammad Al-’Aabid related that Sufyaan ath-Thawri once said to him, “Direct me to a man with whom I can keep company.” Sufyaan said, “You are searching for something that cannot be found.”


Khalf ibn Ismaa’eel Al-Barzaanee reported that he heard Sufyaan ath-Thawri said, “Acquaint yourself with fewer people, and as a result, you will backbite less (frequently).”


Over Socializing – Having too many acquaintances « The Aqeedah and Manhaj of the Salaf-as-Saalih :: Ahlul-Hadith :: Salafi Creed

[Catya Sher]

Half the world - or much more than that! - should put such a propos advice into action.
A lot of people would agree that it is right. But they have no will power to restrict their socializing. Why? Could there be almost an addictive quality to the average person's social life ?

Most all chatter ends up being a complete waste of time out of one's life. Every minute counts and should not be dumped down the drain with useless talk.

Worst are parties. People don't say anything of any consequence and the atmosphere can be dark. Thus, a sensitive person will notice a feeling of being drained when he or she leaves.

That's because there are demons at the party, especially if alcohol is served. Those spirits siphon off lots of energy from unsuspecting attendees.

On a one to one basis, too, an individual can be also a conduit to take away the energy of a good person. In fact, the good person is a frequent target for people with nothing to say or chatterers.

Maybe this is part of what is meant by the remark above "if someone is not with you, he is against you".
Because he or she is the vehicle through which your energy is being sapped while in their company. It's worse in person but can be also done over the phone or computer too.
We all have seen the type of person who is friendly but will NOT let you off the phone or to get away from them if meeting face to face.
That's a dead giveaway that that person is not a friend but a subtle enemy, taking away your time and energy while they keep you from departing their company.

If the person is really good and on one's side TRULY, this phenomenon will not occur.
I see that as a possible test too, to discern an authentic person who is valuable.
Most simply will not be: the sad truth.

I think the cautions given in the article could save a lot of time out one's life so they can use it wisely instead of the social drain.

[Catya Sher]

That last part is funny, and characterizes so well the mentality here. It's almost like all Americans are stuck in the teenager stage.

About the rest of the comment, I never thought of that entire business dimension - opens up my eyes.
Thanks, Shlombay, glad you are wise to see through all the fakeness in the entire lifestyle in this country! It takes work to not be pulled in, it really does.

Japanese too, at least formerly, used to be serious, all attention aimed at passing one's huge exam to get into the next level, or work life. These days, who knows?
I'm glad I held onto my Japanese-made Honda which was made with TLC by more alert, industrious souls - rather than brainwashed partiers in other countries or more recent eras even in Japan.