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Afghan widows would rather die

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  • Afghan widows would rather die

    Afghan widows are struggling for survival. After their husbands’ deaths, the women are faced with rape, poverty and social condemnation. One of them considers her life to have ended before it ever really began.



    Gulghotay’s world fell apart she when heard the news of her husband’s death. They had been married for only three months and now he was suddenly dead. But Gulghotay didn’t want to lead the life of a widow. She decided to drink a small bottle of acid and end her life.

    Gulghotay lives in the eastern Afghan province of Maidan Wardak. She had been doing housework when a bicycle bomb went off in front of a police station in the neighbouring province of Ghazni, killing two people. Seven civilians were hospitalized, among them Gulghotay’s husband. He died shortly thereafter from sustained injuries. His death was a shock for Gulghotay, says Mohammad Azim, brother of the young widow.

    According to Azim, his sister was very happy with her husband. But now he is deeply concerned about her: “Gulghotay was at home with a friend when she drank the acid,” he said. Fortunately, her friend managed to get her quickly to a hospital.

    Women pushed “over the edge”

    But Gulghotay’s fate is shared by many other Afghans. Over the past three decades, thousands of women have lost their husbands or other male relatives during the war. Since they depend on them, the women find it difficult to cope emotionally and financially with the loss and often fall into a state of depression.

    The chief physician of the hospital in the city of Ghazni, Mohammad Hemat, says that up to three women are hospitalized every week after attempting suicide. “For the most part, we are dealing with emotional stress and family issues that often push women over the edge,” Hemat says. Fortunately for Gulghotay, she was admitted to hospital just in time. “She is now in a good condition in one of our hospital wards,” the physician adds.


    Afghan widows face abuse, poverty and social condemnation
    Gulghotay was lucky and will be able to recover. But her physical health is not her main concern. At the young age of 22, she must now continue her life as a widow. It is unlikely that she will find a new husband. According to Afghan tradition, the widow will now get married to her brother-in-law.

    “Women prefer to die than to live”

    In a country where the future of a woman depends on her husband, widows are often powerless according to Wazhma Frogh, women’s rights campaigner and Co-Founder and Executive Director of the Research Institute for Women, Peace and Security.

    With the death of her husband a woman doesn’t only lose her identity, but also her place in society. “These women actually prefer to die than to live,” says Frogh, adding they are not even allowed to continue life as a widow. The campaigner also mentions cases of women being sexually abused by their fathers and brothers-in-law.

    There are currently about 2.5 million widows living in Afghanistan, up to 70,000 of them live in the capital Kabul. These women account for almost 12 percent of the entire Afghan population. Most are illiterate and relatively young.

    No government protection

    Shajan, from the eastern city of Jalalabad is one of them. She says the only reason she forced herself to go on with life was because of her children. Now she is struggling to lift herself out of poverty. “I don’t have a husband who can support and guide me.”

    Her children are still young and she has a job cleaning at a school where she makes 1,200 Afghani, an equivalent to around 17 euros, a month. “There are almost no jobs. I wish the government would help poor people, particularly widows and those in need of protection,” she adds.

    However, the Afghan government does provide for widows, Frogh says. When a police officer or a soldier dies in the line of duty, it is not his wife and children who receive monthly financial support payments, but his father. This clearly shows that not even the government recognizes the widows’ standing in Afghan society, Frogh explains.

    A widow is seen as a bad omen by Afghan society. Gulghotay now faces all these challenges. She will survive and eventually recover, but at what cost? Her family hopes that the suicide attempt was her last one.

    Afghan widows would rather die | Waslat

  • #2
    Thanks Taliban.
    [QUOTE=Afghanistan2010;658085][B]He is no different [COLOR="Red"]than us[/COLOR][/B],[B]he[COLOR="Red"] blindly believes [/COLOR]in the words [COLOR="Red"]of other men[/COLOR][/B],:[/QUOTE]

    2010 Admitting he's a blind believer not in God, but what other men says.

    Comment


    • #3
      Very sad story I feel sorry for this woman. She married young and couldn't even enjoy her married life. Pashtun women look up to the men for their well being and look to them for guidance. My condolences go out to her family.
      "Revenge is a dish best served cold".

      -Old Pashtun proverb




      "My Pashtun Pride i will not hide!"

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Killzai View Post
        why cant they remarry?

        its not like theyre hindus who believe theyre married for 7 lives or old catholics.
        Becuase they can't, pashtun are worser in this that hindus or catholics.....

        Comment


        • #5
          ^ According to Pashtunwali, they must marry the brother of their deceased husband.
          "Do not waste water even if you were at a running stream."-Prophet Muhammad (SAW)

          Comment


          • #6
            MUST ..eh like it's forced on them?
            [QUOTE=Afghanistan2010;658085][B]He is no different [COLOR="Red"]than us[/COLOR][/B],[B]he[COLOR="Red"] blindly believes [/COLOR]in the words [COLOR="Red"]of other men[/COLOR][/B],:[/QUOTE]

            2010 Admitting he's a blind believer not in God, but what other men says.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Joey_Gladstonezai View Post
              ^ According to Pashtunwali, they must marry the brother of their deceased husband.
              They must not, it is an option, only some force them but most of the time they talk about it and decide what is best....

              Comment


              • #8
                ^ When the family gives permission otherwise, then yes. It depends on how strict they are but generally that's what's done. In rare cases, when the woman refuses, which she normally would not, it may stir some temporary disharmony. I heard about a family in London where the widowed girl did not want to marry her brother-in-law since he married another woman before marrying her first so eventually, they allowed her to remarry from another family. And I havn't heard of any women complaining. This is the first time I'm hearing such things which is why I doubt the report. As far as I know, it works out in the widow's interest since, in our society, a widow's prospects of getting re-married are slim otherwise.
                Last edited by Joey_Gladstonezai; 03-26-2013, 10:29 PM.
                "Do not waste water even if you were at a running stream."-Prophet Muhammad (SAW)

                Comment


                • #9
                  So basically she has no self determination of her own is what you're saying?
                  [QUOTE=Afghanistan2010;658085][B]He is no different [COLOR="Red"]than us[/COLOR][/B],[B]he[COLOR="Red"] blindly believes [/COLOR]in the words [COLOR="Red"]of other men[/COLOR][/B],:[/QUOTE]

                  2010 Admitting he's a blind believer not in God, but what other men says.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Stop twisting people's words. And no, I never said that. Reread my post again so it makes better sense to you.
                    "Do not waste water even if you were at a running stream."-Prophet Muhammad (SAW)

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      answer directly ...in pashtunwali, does a woman have a choice over who she marries or not, in cases where she is widowed?

                      Simple yes or no will do.
                      [QUOTE=Afghanistan2010;658085][B]He is no different [COLOR="Red"]than us[/COLOR][/B],[B]he[COLOR="Red"] blindly believes [/COLOR]in the words [COLOR="Red"]of other men[/COLOR][/B],:[/QUOTE]

                      2010 Admitting he's a blind believer not in God, but what other men says.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        ^ Yes, she does.
                        "Do not waste water even if you were at a running stream."-Prophet Muhammad (SAW)

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          But they wouldn't wanna marry you, just say'n.
                          "Do not waste water even if you were at a running stream."-Prophet Muhammad (SAW)

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Right, they'd just sleep with me behind everyone's back, which happens OFTEN in Pashtun areas. Just say'n
                            Last edited by RevolutionThroughReason; 03-26-2013, 10:49 PM.
                            [QUOTE=Afghanistan2010;658085][B]He is no different [COLOR="Red"]than us[/COLOR][/B],[B]he[COLOR="Red"] blindly believes [/COLOR]in the words [COLOR="Red"]of other men[/COLOR][/B],:[/QUOTE]

                            2010 Admitting he's a blind believer not in God, but what other men says.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Joey_Gladstonezai View Post
                              ^ Yes, she does.

                              so then what happens to a woman if she refuses to accept marrying her akhshai after her husband dies?
                              [QUOTE=Afghanistan2010;658085][B]He is no different [COLOR="Red"]than us[/COLOR][/B],[B]he[COLOR="Red"] blindly believes [/COLOR]in the words [COLOR="Red"]of other men[/COLOR][/B],:[/QUOTE]

                              2010 Admitting he's a blind believer not in God, but what other men says.

                              Comment

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