~ Compromises.

[Mayana]

Asalamualaikum wa Rahmatullah,


I hope you all are doing well.

A new topic has been running through my head: Compromises. We all have to compromise something, to some extent, for someone or something in some context.

We might compromise our education for family; our family for education; our career for religion; religion for career.. our love for traditions for our children; our children for our love of tradition; our language for integration; integration for culture; our hobbies for our spouses; our spouses for our principles etc etc.

Are you willing to make compromises? To what extent?
In what context? For whom? To achieve what? What are you willing to compromise and what will you never compromise and die for?
What big compromises have you made in your life.. and were they worth it?


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Mayana

[IamDZJ]

life ain't no fair trader... i will never, and i repeat, EVER compromise for any one or anything again... if i feel like living the life of a loser, then i will do just that but on my own terms. pinished, pinito, feriod.


the buck are the rest of you waiting for?

[Mayana]

From that I take that we have to be very careful before making a decision to compromise.. and take into consideration the consequences..? What do you think, Lema?

[IamDZJ]

it's like what that woman says..."..it's like getting a tattoo on one's face". life changing decisions are like that. they will stick with you for a very long time so you better be sure about them before making them. the more you change your mind about what you want from life the less of a character you are left with by the end of the day.

[Mayana]

Very true.
Sometimes we jump into a compromise by reasoning: "They have done so much for me, they have given up so much for me, they have sacrificed so much for me. This is the LEAST I can do." and thinking that this compromise will benefit them.. although in consequence, all it does is harm ourselves and the ones we sacrificed for.

[PFgulalai]

I can NEVER compromise on my principles because that's vital for my existence. There were times when I was told to adopt a more flexible attitude because standing on my principles would lead me to destruction. I measured the risk and benfit effect.If the benefit risked my principles, I did not move an inch. Although I suffered a lot, but the internal satisfaction that I got from not sacrificing my principles was the most relieving feeling.In genenral, however, I do compromise on lot of things, and with lot of people depending upon the situation.

We have different personalities and in order to live in harmony, we need to compromise every now and then. But as DJZ mentioned, some decisions are more serious and so need to be analyzed objectively without having a prior compromising attitude because chances are that the consequences of those decsions might not necessarily would make one happy.

Think of the word "compromise" and the next word that pops in mind is "marriage". I believe no successful marraige is possible without compromise, and not just one compromise but gazillion of them. It could be a mutual symbiotic compromising attitude (when both partners compromise equally and are happy) and could be a parasitic-host one (when one partner is compromising and sulking all the time). Another perspective could be that what if the one compromising all the time is happy with it. Well, I can't believe that happening. Humans are selfish with varying degrees and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.And it is due to this very selfish nature of humans that absolute compromise is not possible in my opinion.Eventually there would be a stage when the person who is the most compromising one would break and would demand his/her right for happiness-the silent demands are the one that I dislike the most and I have observed these more than the vociferous ones.

[Zayam]

it's like what that woman says..."..it's like getting a tattoo on one's face". life changing decisions are like that. they will stick with you for a very long time so you better be sure about them before making them. the more you change your mind about what you want from life the less of a character you are left with by the end of the day.

Someone not so long ago asked about what is something important I have learned in life. It is "I should not make life changing decisions when I am emotionally not stable (not in a calm, clear place)."

Sometimes I compromise my own feelings, saying to myself, "If I just keep my thoughts to myself, then in time (because I persevere) things will get better." But putting up with what I perceive as abuse from others does not get better, it just eats me up inside like a poison.

[IamDZJ]

^ i am the opposite of that. i never regret the decisions that i make when i am angry because i am least afraid at that moment and most sure of myself. i also find it a lot easier to follow. if i leave them to when i am in a better place and then decide i am more than sure that i will not get what i truly want out of it. it will not be my own decision And i am done with pleasing others.