Honor? or the Truth?

[Laila]

............


I edited my post for my own personal reasons.... i believe my point was taken across. I hope many of you understand, honor does not mean everything.

[Wrayun]

Laila khoray, your story just gave me some severe heartache. As a Pukhtoon, reading something like this is unbearable. I be honest...I skipped the mid part.....found the strength....and then read the whole thing. I pray and wish that you get over this soon. You shouldn't blame yourself, and don't be hard on yourself for not telling your parents. It's very difficult for people to discuss these things and talk about them no matter what age, you were just a little girl. You did what you thought was right, and only you in your position could make that call. Please don't allow this dark moment in your life to neglect it.

Khudai da mu tolee khwanday pa haya oh izaat lara.

I agree with your point. There is no point in having "honor" if it's being violated and you can't/don't know about it. Letting those (male or female), for whom you are responsible know that they can come to you with anything, no matter what, should be the first step in defending such "honor". Unfortunately, people and society, particularly in the Muslim world, have created this twisted sense of honor where reporting abuse is considered dishonorable and usually the victim is stigmatized in the process. That is nothing but utter cowardice, and a shameful way of shying away from responsibility. There is nothing "honorable" about it.

It's this exact irrational attitude that emboldens attackers, and make abuse rampant.

[شمله ور خراساني]

the truth is that most of these so called pashtun nationalists are in fact cowards. They just become "honorable" when its time to oppress women. Just like Sikhs. Their ghairat is only applied when oppressing women.


In Islam there is no such a thing as honor killing, suicide out of shame or anything of this kind.

It only exists in communities of ignorant people who go against allahs guidance.

[KhyberKhan]

I wish i never read this thread. I wana go to the nearest prison and burn down the pedophile wing. That's how bad my flipping blood is boiling right now.

Laila, stay strong and inshallah keep strong. Kids don't know right/wrong and these ****bags, whether they are in the army or not, are always looking for excuse to pray on the innocence of children that's what makes me want to dunk them alive in sulphuric acid if i ever caught one.

Don't reflect on it anymore please, look to the future and remember Allah will get him for his actions if not in this life, then definitely the afterlife.

As for US Army, they are going home in a thousand pieces.

[Baygham]

Laila khore, what you are going through requires some changes to mitigate its effects on you.

You have suffered a traumatic event in your past, a painful, emotionally distressing event, a combination of fear and helplessness which imprints as a strong memory. Now hearing about the plight of someone else has triggered that memory and its emotional and physiologic reactivity.

To avoid future suffering you need to do a few things.

The most affective way forward is what is called "reconsolidation" of memories. Here is how it goes.
Consider memories as stored in a closet (our brain), something (an event, observation, perception or rumerations) can activate that memory, ie bring it to conciousness. This activates the emotional and physiological states that were part of the memory. ( in your case the fear, helplessness, suffering of a child). Your present emotions than influences this memory and it is stored back even stronger and the process goes on.

However imagine something else happening. The other day this vietnam veteren was started crying when asked about his most painful memory, he remembered a tank blown up in iraq and the turret was lying on the side, blown away, his pain was feeling the suffering of the two young soldiers in the turret. He was thinking of their families suffering and crying in the process. This went on for 8 years.
In a single session when the memory got activated (brought to conciousness) he was advised to change his perspective on the event and instead of suffering of the two kids, see them as heroes, as brave soldiers dying in a noble cause and happy in heaven (just a different perspective), he started doing this and six weeks later he had no emotional reaction of pain and suffering to his old memory.

This idiotic bussiness of shame of family and pakhtoo is all primitive backwardness, you have done nothing wrong and should not suffer any pain for it. You are pure and were pure, nobody can denigrate you if even they burn you alive. Your soul is yours to tarnish or polish. Next time you see images of that day as your memory is activated, see the whole situation from a different perspective, see the beauty and innocence of a 10 year old, laugh at your self as to how you did this or that and how bravely you walked home, see the idiot as a pathetic loser who only could confront a 10 year old and not real adults. Change the feeling, dont feel helpless and in fear.

[Sheenka]

where did this happened? its very depressing thnks for share liala and thank god nothing bad happened to u.

[MeemWawMeemNoon]

This shattered me.

*speechless*

[Admin Khan]

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