Pakistanis Celebrate Marriage Between Jewish Man and Muslim Woman

[maneatinglizard]

This was the top post on r/pakistan today:

The best Jewish-American-Muslim-Pakistani wedding ever : pakistan

The best Jewish-American-Muslim-Pakistani wedding ever – J.

When Alan Cordova decided to take Maliha Khan to a pop-up Moroccan communal dinner for their first date, one question he didn’t anticipate being asked by their fellow EatWith diners was how long they had been together.

“Twenty minutes” was the honest answer.

It was May 2016 when the pair first met after being introduced through the dating app The League, which screens applicants and is aimed at young, successful, educated professionals.

“It sounds douchey, but it’s supposed to be a higher-quality dating app,” said Khan, whose friends helped her set up her profile right before she left her job in finance in New York to move to San Francisco.

Khan, 33, is originally from Karachi, Pakistan. She attended Smith College as an undergraduate and has an MBA from Harvard.

Cordova, 34, was raised in Seattle. After attending Williams College and Columbia University for his MBA, he also lived in New York. He moved to San Francisco in June 2015 and is business development manager for NRG Worldwide, which develops power plants for hospitals and universities.

After their first successful date, both were ready to go on a second one. And then a third.

Before their fourth date, Khan said she wanted to break in her new hiking boots for a gorilla-tracking trip she was taking to Tanzania with her best friend. Admittedly “not very outdoorsy,” she’d never owned hiking boots before. Cordova ended up taking her on a 16-mile hike, and Khan had a bit of a hard time, becoming terribly dehydrated and drinking up Cordova’s water. “He was amazing,” she said. “He was so kind and chivalrous.”

They stayed in touch during her two weeks in Tanzania and both realized how much they missed each other. As soon as Khan returned, they became a couple.

It was on a camping trip soon after to Desolation Wilderness near Lake Tahoe — her first time camping — that they both thought this might be it.

“I appreciated her willingness to go to a place with no cell reception and to trust me and go way out of her comfort zone and do something different and be together on this adventure,” said Cordova. “That set the tone. Each of us saw how we work together really well.”

Added Khan: “I had been used to being so self-reliant for a long time. I’ve chosen to live far away from home and my family, and that trip made me feel like I could depend on him, and that cemented us together.”

The fact that she was Muslim and he was Jewish was not an issue.

“My family is not particularly observant, but we still define ourselves as Muslim,” said Khan. “But I was actively seeking to not date Pakistani men. Both of us experienced zero resistance from either of our families or communities at large.”

Added Cordova, “My family is very supportive and open and just wanted me to find someone that made me happy.”

Early on in their relationship, Cordova told Khan that he attends The Kitchen, an independent Jewish community in the Mission District, and invited her to join him.

Khan had a Modern Orthodox roommate at Smith and many other Jewish friends, so Jewish practice in general wasn’t new to her. But it was at The Kitchen.

“Everything was different than what I was used to. There was this cacophony of joyful singing,” she said. “I liked it enough to want to come back, as I really love to sing.”

Cordova said he used to go to services sporadically and sit in the back without really participating, but now he and Khan attend every service and sit in front, and Khan said she feels very much part of the community.

This past summer, they decided to marry. “As a feminist who went to a women’s college, I would have been mad if he did the whole on-one-knee thing, that’s not for me,” she said.

They married on Nov. 4 in Seattle to accommodate Cordova’s elderly relatives. They started with a Muslim ceremony that featured a number of South Asian cultural rituals, like placing long flower garlands on each other and feeding each other sweets. The ceremony was officiated by a female family friend, who also read some Sufi poetry. The Jewish ceremony followed, with Cordova’s childhood rabbi officiating as the couple broke the glass together.

Their signed marriage contract is both a ketubah and a nikah, representing similar Jewish and Muslim traditions. It features the Song of Songs opening, “I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine,” and includes modern egalitarian text in English, Hebrew and Urdu, the language of Pakistan.

“We feel supported and balanced in a way that neither of us ever felt before, which is really wonderful,” Khan said. “And given that we come from South Asian and Jewish families, that was very important to us. My family truly loves Alan and his family truly loves me. We feel very loved and supported in that way as well.”

A bunch of Pakistanis are a little too happy to see a Pakistani girl marry a Jewish guy. I’m surprised to see how many of them don’t seem to know that such a marriage is invalid in Islam, but beyond that, why would anyone even celebrate such a thing? Especially when she blasted Pakistani guys LOL. Imagine being happy some girl specifically chose to avoid you and everyone from your country to enter into an invalid marriage with a Jew.

This comment in particular made me laugh:

That's it i'm asking out this Italian chick.

Sorry dude, but that’s not how cuckoldry works. Them taking your women doesn’t mean you can take theirs.

The majority of the comments in the Reddit post, by the way, are an atheist Pashtun guy arguing that this marriage is invalid in Islam.

[Traveller]

Wrora they were being sarcastic. If you read the comments everyone was taking it as a joke. You're reading too deeply into this. One guy even called her self-hating.

edit: I didn't see that part with the atheist pashtun guy arguing that it's against Islam. An atheist having to teach people their religion is sharam.

[maneatinglizard]

I know the commment I quoted is a joke. However, the fact that it hit the top of the subreddit indicates that it’s a popular story. Some of the other comments were also seriously supportive, so my response to that joke was another joke that clearly reflects the mentality of some of the users there. They see a “white” person marrying a Pakistani girl as a sort of validation for them.

I’m really surprised that so many people there don’t seem to know that this is against Islam. I’m guessing most of those people grew up outside of Pakistan, but even then, they must be extremely disconnected from the Islamic community to not know at least that much. It is a big shame, and a big part of the reason why I’m convinced that a large part of this generation’s children won’t be Muslim in America.

Living in the US shouldn’t be permanent in my opinion. The Muslim community here is too weak, and American culture is too pervasive.

[kunatawar]

one thing that never fails to amaze me is how many pakis abroad are so anti islam. so many of them disproportionately turn into the classic self hating stereotype its unbelievable. they also over represent the most vile racist white worshipping of the ex muslims and even all the dumbfk islamic reformation overhaul movements.

i mean america is infamous for turning alot of muslims into idiots and arabs/afghans/iranians there do it too but the level of toxic beghairati of american paki community is unmatched

[Traveller]

I know the commment I quoted is a joke. However, the fact that it hit the top of the subreddit indicates that it’s a popular story. Some of the other comments were also seriously supportive, so my response to that joke was another joke that clearly reflects the mentality of some of the users there. They see a “white” person marrying a Pakistani girl as a sort of validation for them.

I’m really surprised that so many people there don’t seem to know that this is against Islam. I’m guessing most of those people grew up outside of Pakistan, but even then, they must be extremely disconnected from the Islamic community to not know at least that much. It is a big shame, and a big part of the reason why I’m convinced that a large part of this generation’s children won’t be Muslim in America.

Living in the US shouldn’t be permanent in my opinion. The Muslim community here is too weak, and American culture is too pervasive.

Reddit in general is full of irreligious people, that sub is no different. I agreee with you, Islam will slowly die out in America among the younger generations. The best thing we can do is find ways to migrate to Muslim countries. Western Muslims have a lot of skills needed in Muslim countries so I'm sure we'll be welcomed.

[Iblis_Efreetzai]

Nothing new ....does anyone forget Huma Abedin and Anthony Werner?

And yes there are some Afghan families whose daughters have married Jewish guys.

These are the signs, and sadly these people will face dire consequences for their choices. This is definitely nothing to be proud of.

[Elite Pakhtun]

one thing that never fails to amaze me is how many pakis abroad are so anti islam. so many of them disproportionately turn into the classic self hating stereotype its unbelievable. they also over represent the most vile racist white worshipping of the ex muslims and even all the dumbfk islamic reformation overhaul movements.

i mean america is infamous for turning alot of muslims into idiots and arabs/afghans/iranians there do it too but the level of toxic beghairati of american paki community is unmatched

You're crazy if you think Pakistanis are more westernized (in the West) than afkunnis, arabs, or eeroonis.

Black and 40, who used to be active here, is an afkunni that outright went to visit jewland (aka israel the ****hole) for vacation. If she's doing that, how do you figure Pakistanis are worse?

[Iblis_Efreetzai]

DaZahrojam went to Germany not to Israel. and ...Being in Israel for vacation is different than letting an Israeli take a vacation IN YOU lol

[maneatinglizard]

I posted this late last night, so I forgot to say that, while it can be fun to laugh at Indics for this behavior, this is a problem for all Muslims living in the West.

Maybe Afghans haven't fallen so far yet that they celebrate stuff like this (I wouldn't be surprised if some do), but Afghans, Arabs, and other Muslim groups are rapidly falling into the same self-loathing traps that we make fun of Indics for.

You're crazy if you think Pakistanis are more westernized (in the West) than afkunnis, arabs, or eeroonis.

Black and 40, who used to be active here, is an afkunni that outright went to visit jewland (aka israel the ****hole) for vacation. If she's doing that, how do you figure Pakistanis are worse?

First off, "afkunnis" isn't funny and doesn't even sound like the original word. And you're an Afghan too, so I don't know why you'd even make fun of the word.

Secondly, while Iranians are definitely more westernized than Pakistanis, Arabs and Afghans are probably less. Which says a lot, because Pakistanis (and Indics in general) are discriminated against way more than Afghans and Arabs.

Regardless, this is a race to the bottom. It's sad that we're arguing over which group brown noses the West more.

Reddit in general is full of irreligious people, that sub is no different. I agreee with you, Islam will slowly die out in America among the younger generations. The best thing we can do is find ways to migrate to Muslim countries. Western Muslims have a lot of skills needed in Muslim countries so I'm sure we'll be welcomed.

Yes, this. Instead of trying to figure out how to assimilate into the West, we need to be making serious plans on how to benefit our own countries. And this is one of the reasons we need to drop our nationalism and recognize that we have more in common with the people of (for example) Egypt and Turkey than we do the US and Germany. Pakistan and (especially) Afghanistan may seem hopeless right now, but there are Muslim countries with brighter futures. Places like Turkey, Malaysia, and the Gulf Arab states.

[Elias]

Cuckoldry...:D

[jama0112]

I get that there are pakis celebrating this. But is there any jews celebrating this?

[Ibrahim ShahiZai]

Getting Cucked by West and Central Asians is routine for Pakis and Indians

[Elite Pakhtun]

DaZahrojam went to Germany not to Israel. and ...Being in Israel for vacation is different than letting an Israeli take a vacation IN YOU lol

Look.. unless it's not that 40 and black person, she also went to Israel.

[khushal]

You're crazy if you think Pakistanis are more westernized (in the West) than afkunnis, arabs, or eeroonis.

Black and 40, who used to be active here, is an afkunni that outright went to visit jewland (aka israel the ****hole) for vacation. If she's doing that, how do you figure Pakistanis are worse?

The Paki army protects Arab Tyrants who protect Israel therefore the paki army protects Israel.

http://www.ipcs.org/article/pakistan/pakistan-israel-relations-a-new-beginning-1873.html

[maneatinglizard]

The Paki army protects Arab Tyrants who protect Israel therefore the paki army protects Israel.
http://www.ipcs.org/article/pakistan...ning-1873.html

Apparently a lot of Pakis (the secular self-hating Punjabi types) want Pakistani to ally with Israel because Palestine maintains friendly relations with India.

Stupid beghairats.