What is the right age to marry?

[Saifullah]

ok ill post it on saifullah/sheenkay thread

[Alia]

tor hahaah xD

[Master Khan]

Yaara di pakhtona asi torey gharabi badishe lol

[eyeliner]

whats the obsession with speen?

[Saifullah]

i aint that fussed about tones of colour...if its between white and brown

[eyeliner]

i aint that fussed about tones of colour...if its between white and brown

well its going to be either one

[Saifullah]

well you have white, then you have slightly brown white and so on...

[eyeliner]

i don't the logic behind the whole speen thing?

[Saifullah]

i dont know why but majority of the best lookin women are whitish...

[eyeliner]

^ hmm..i dunno, i think its features that matter, seeing these threads everyone is like speen is nice aw coloured stargi, but whats the big deal

[Saifullah]

there is no big deal...im not obsessed about that, but its nice to have coloured eyes and so on

[eyeliner]

^ maybe not you but ive seen through the threads and reached that conclusion and now i want to understand the logic

[Pakhtunzai]

It depends on the level of ones maturity and whether the couple can support on another financially and mentally. But ideally the age for girls should be at least 20 and for guys it should be 23-24.

I've been talking about marriage and asking for this since 16 lol. When uncles were ready to sort it out this time in Pk the first words that came out of my mouth was that I'm too young and not ready. Also from past family experiences, marrying really young people(16-20) is not a really good idea. Thats when I realised marriage should be done when the couple are ready in all aspects.

[Roshina]

I don't believe there's a "right age" to marry at, if by "right age," one means an exact year -- like 16, 20, 30, etc.

Neither do I believe in the whole idea of "you marry when you feel it's the right time for you," or "when you feel ready." What do these mean? How do you know when you're "ready" to marry? How do you know what you're "of age"? And, for people coming from a culture like ours (in which parents and other elders often have a more important say in the marriage than the two individuals getting married), how would your parents know when you're "of age"? (No, don't say, "They know you well because you live with them." You can live with someone your entire lifetime but STILL not know them.) After having seen so many eastern females who have become "disciplined" after marriage, I'm now of the opinion that even if you're not all that disciplined, or even if you're very immature, marriage will heal you! Perhaps it's your in-laws, or maybe your husband, whom you fear enough or for whose sake you finally decide to grow up, or maybe it's just something about marriage obligations that straighten you up. Who knows. So how does this observation work with the idea of marrying when you feel ready? I mean, will the difficulties of marriage -- assuming there are many -- strengthen and increase for someone who is married off at an age in which he/she didn't feel "ready" for marriage?

Very importantly, though, I think we should stop thinking that someone who is biologically able to produce children is now capable of marriage. I find it silly because we're denying the fact that marriage comes with lots of heavy responsibilities -- and having children may or may not be one of them. It's knowing how to raise children that's more important; it's knowing how to respect, love, and appreciate your partner in a way s/he wants to be respected, loved, and appreciated.

So, to me, it's all about mental, not just physical, maturity.

It's also a matter of which society you're talking about. Hence my comment that there's no specific age for marriage, neither for females nor for males. For example, consider comparing a 16-year-old female born and raised in a rural area to one born and raised in an urban area; or consider comparing a 13-year-old female raised in, say, Afghanistan to one raised in, say, Canada. By no means is this to imply one's better than the other, because I don't believe in such unfair generalizations and would never make one myself. However, it is to show the point that circumstances, life experiences, observations, etc. shape us so. Someone aged 12 who has seen war, poverty, destruction of her/his parents, and has practically mothered/fathered her/his younger siblings is going to prove her/himself far more mature and fit for marriage than someone of the exact same age who has lived a luxurious life and has everything he/she wants and needs -- or someone to whom everything comes so easily and conveniently.

So, I don't think we should even decide a specific age for a specific society even, since people do NOT mature at the same age or for the same exact reasons necessarily.

Me, personally, I woudln't mind marriage at the age of 16 or 18 or 35, provided that by the time I was being married, I knew what I was going to be getting into, well aware of the pros and cons of the decision... and, of course, my approval was the priority of those in charge of my marriage. I also don't believe any age is "too old" for marriage -- but that doesn't mean that I think people should first finish their education and then get married. I don't buy this logic at all. You can finish your education while married just as well, so long as your partner is cooperative and supportive. If not, he/she is not worth marrying in the first place. Now, if I had to choose between my education and a potential husband who believed I cannot work or go to school upon marrying him and he refused to explain to me why or help me understand his view (or that it's only because "women shouldn't be doing these things" -- ugh, I'd never buy this nonsense), I'd certainly, without ANY questions, choose my education. To hell with someone who thinks education isn't for me just because my body is designed differently than his. Pa dunya ke sam sarri sa kam kho na dee. Yao be kaara lewaney ba wrak ku, bal ba rapaida ku.

[Laila]

I dont think there is a fixed, correct age to marry. You marry when you are mature and able to handle the responsibilities of marriage.