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  • Slavic men abused by their wives

    ‘Battered husbands’ - still a taboo subject in Poland
    28.07.2010


    The amount of Polish women abusing their husbands or partners has tripled in the last three years, claims a report by the Poland’s Police Headquarters.

    According to a survey conducted by CBOS in 2009, as many as 23 percent of adult Poles admit that they had been victims of abuse and 6 percent admited they had been abused at home. The majority of home abuse victims are women and children. However, men also fall victim to domestic violence.

    Police statistics show that out of 132,000 abuse victims, 11,000 are men and their number is gradually increasing.

    “The number of men who fall victim to female domestic violence has tripled in the last three years,” says Grazyna Puchalska from Police HQ.

    In Poland domestic violence towards men is still a taboo subject because men who experience it are often perceived as weak and in some people’s opinion they do not deserve sympathy.

    It is estimated that in Poland 5 to 7 percent of men are victims of domestic violence. In the U.S., according to Domestic Violence Against Men, among each 100 victims of abuse 40 are men.

    Tip of an iceberg?

    Different results in the two countries do not mean, however, that in Poland the problem is marginal. “The 5 to 7 percent is just the tip of an iceberg,” says says Prof. Irena Pospiszyl from the Higher School of Rehabilitation in Warsaw. “My research shows that up to 14 percent of men are victims but most of them do not report it. What’s also significant is that as many as 30 percent of my respondents refused to answer the questions about this.”

    “Men hardly ever report abuse because they are ashamed of being beaten or humiliated by a woman. It is against a stereotype of a strong, tough man,” says Prof. Dariusz Dolinski from the Warsaw School of Social Sciences and Humanities. Men are also afraid that police will not believe them if they report that domestic violence was directed towards them.

    Women more often abuse men verbally and psychologically than physically, however. “They insult, humiliate, bully men, make fun of them or blackmail them,” says Prof. Dolinski, adding that men usually abuse women because they want to achieve a certain goal, whereas women more often abuse men when they want to relieve tension or frustration.

    In July, the first centre for domestic abused men was created in Poland by Fundacja Akcja. “So far we have provided group therapy for men who experience marriage crisis or got divorced but during the sessions many participants mention that they were abused by their partners so we decided to create a special programme for them,” says Robert Kucharski from Fundacja Akcja. (mg/pg)

    Source: menstream.pl

  • #2
    Serbian women turn into husband-bashing wives


    Between 7 and 10 per cent of men are exposed to either physical or mental abuse at home

    “I must be the first man in the Balkans to admit that I have been battered by my wife,” Dusan Stojkovic said with a wry smile, speaking from Serbia’s first safe house for battered men.

    It took a lot for the man who is in his fifties to reach out and get help, breaking a taboo in a country where men still cling to a fierce macho image.

    Stojkovic has been in the safe house for abused men in central Cuprija, the first in Serbia, since it was founded in July 2009 by the Safety for Men nongovernmental organisation.

    “My wife and her daughters (from another marriage) hit me with baseball bats,” he told AFP, thumbing through his thick legal file.

    After the beatings, Stojkovic said, his wife accused him of battering her, saying she fought back in self-defence. He assumed this was his spouse’s way to get her hands on his assets: the house and his dog breeding business.

    The hardest part for Stojkovic was to convince people that, actually, he is the victim. He was jailed for two months following his wife’s accusations, and when he was released he was ordered to stay away from his own home.

    His wife has kept his house, his assets and his business. “All this is the result of the court’s denial that men can also be victims of domestic abuse,” said Verica Zivanovic, a lawyer who volunteers for Safety for Men.


    The organisation’s founder Dusan Trifunovic, a former mayor of Cuprija, explained that many men were having trouble getting justice in abusive situations. “Even if they get a court ruling in their favour it is almost impossible to enforce,” he complained.

    Stereotypes run deep in Serbia’s still very traditional society.

    Even Zivanovic admitted that she suppressed a s****** when she first heard of Safety for Men but said she was stunned by the number of cases similar to Stojkovic’s.

    According to the group around a thousand men have contacted the NGO since the safe house opened, most of them following an appearance by one of its residents in a popular talk show.

    “There is a lot of interest but our capacity is limited. We can take in only urgent cases,” said Stojkovic, who has become a coordinator for the NGO.

    Safety for Men founder Trifunovic said between seven and 10 per cent of Serbian men were exposed to either physical or mental abuse at home.

    Few men dare to come forward due to the stigma attached and prevalent prejudices. But men at the safehouse have not only suffered at the hands of their wives. According to Trifunovic a growing number of men say they have been assaulted by their own children.

    “When it comes to physical violence Serbian men will not easily admit they were the victims because of the patriarchal society,” where men are considered to be the strong head of the family, Svetlana Acimovic, a social worker in a family and marriage counseling centre, told AFP.

    “Men now speak more openly about mental abuse but we still see many more female victims of domestic violence. Over 90 per cent of the people who turn to us for help are women,” she stressed.

    Safe house resident Janko Paunovic meanwhile has a practical suggestion to help male and female victims of domestic violence overcome their ordeal.

    “They should build the safe houses for men and women next to each other,” he said.

    “We will have men and women who suffered there. They can talk about it and who knows what could happen…,” he explained with a hopeful smile. -AFP


    Comment


    • #3
      I think this is an overlooked aspect of domestic abuse, there are women who abuse their husbands, but women usually abuse with psychological violence, which is far worse.

      For instance, making the man feel jealous and inferior by openly flirting with another man in front of him, saying another man is making more money, or how another man is a tiger and you're a pussy cat.

      And then women wonder why suddenly the man hates their guts and wants nothing to do with them.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by IvNoName View Post
        psychological violence.

        openly flirting with another...


        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Kochagasht View Post


          Comment


          • #6
            Brooding & Cynical Inc.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by IvNoName View Post
              Brooding & Cynical Inc.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Kochagasht View Post
                But seriously, how can one use psychological violence against someone who's only form of self-defense is an indignant look.

                All my Afghan cruelty is useless against such tactics.

                Comment


                • #9
                  euro mean are soft.
                  There are people today who think that admitting God’s absolute greatness decreases the value and importance of humans in the creation, as if God and mankind are rivals competing in greatness and power. Meanwhile I feel that whenever our perception of God’s greatness increases, with it we become greater, because we are the creation of a great God.

                  Sayyid Qutb

                  Comment

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