insecurity at the root of abuse

[$hiva]

i have been thinking about abuse, more precisely emotional abuse. i wondered why do we emotionally abuse someone, someone who cares because if someone did not care no matter what you said to them it makes no difference, so in order for emotional abuse to be effective the victim must care

my take is that emotional abuse is fueled by insecurity. you hurt someone and push them in order to see if they care... but then this becomes a habit for some reason.

when this abuse becomes a habit, it is the foundation of a dysfunctional relationship and the start of its disintegration.

[Badlun]

Good observation. What I have seen that in deeply rooted relations like true love you may blackmail others emotionally and will expect that they care and react favorably but in ordinary relation you do not abuse because you do not care, it does not matter to you.

Jealousy or envy in love has a positive aspect because you love and you do not tolerate your love to be shared. Sometimes this becomes obsession and psyche issue.

[$hiva]

can flowers bloom out of excrement?



can love grow out of jealousy




you need flower seeds, soil , water sunlight, air minerals and air and only then maybe excrement, otherwise excrement does not bloom flowers



a human being who's as good as excrement in every sense of the word, who cannot but spread nauseous smell cannot produce love or be loved

[DaZahroJaam.]

With every subject that you attempt at, you over generalize things further when it should be the other way around.

[$hiva]

an excrement is an excrement, its a fact right there in all its smelly glory, that no one can deny, at least no one with basic intelligence

there is no generalization involved its basic logic

[Badlun]

Jealousy in love is common and understandable but it should not become obsession and mental case. You should have reasons for jealousy. If you are in love with a girl and the girl is more attached to another guy naturally you will feel jealous but if you are jealous of any thing nonsense then the fault lies with you.