racist jokes

[afghan]

How many jews can you fit in a Volks-Wagon?
54. Two in the front, two in the back, and 50 in the ash-tray.

Why don't you throw a rock at a mexican on a bike?
Because the bike might be yours.
What's the difference between a bag of **** and a ******?
The bag.

What so you call a black doctor?
A ******!
What do you call four ******s, in a car, driving off a cliff?
A waste. You could've fit two more in the trunk.

What did the mexican fireman name his kids?
Jose and hose B.
Why do jews have huge noses?
Bucause all the air is free.

A mexican and a ****** both fall off the top of a building at the exact same time. Who hits the ground first?
Who cares?
A mexican and a ****** are both in the back of a car. Who's driving?
A cop.

How do you disable paki missiles?
Cut the rubber bands.
How do you stop a paki war-tank?
Shoot the guys pushing it.

How do you fit a thousand jews in a car?
Throw a quarter in it.
How do you get them all out?
Tell 'em Hitler's driving.
What's the difference between a pizza and a jew?
A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

You're locked in a room with Adolf Hitler, Saddam Hussein, and a paki. You have a pistol with only two bullets in it. What do you do?
Shoot the paki twice to make sure he's dead.
How do you know a paki is lying?
His lips are moving.

What do you call a bunch of ******s in a school bus?
A rotten banana.
What do you call a croud of ******s around the CN Tower?
Pubic hair.

Why do black people always have sex on their minds?
Because they have pubes on their heads.
How do you find the population of mexico?
Throw a dollar in the street.
How do you find the richest man in mexico?
Find the guy who got the dollar.

What do you call five ******s pushing a car up a street?
Muscle.
What do you call five white guys pushing a car up a street?
White power.
What do you call five mexicans pushing a car up a street?
Grand Theft Auto.
How do you stop a mexican from drowning?
Take your foot off the back of his head.

How do you hide your money from a mexican?
Put it under a bar of soap.
What's the difference between a dog getting run over by a car and a ****** getting run over by a car?
The skid marks lead to the dog.

Did you hear about that mexican who got a job?
Me neither.
How do you blindfold a chinese guy?
Dental floss.

What do you call a mexican having a shower?
A miracle.
How many ******s does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, one to screw it in and the otehr to drive the pink Cadillac.

Why are ******s getting stronger?
TVs are getting bigger.
Why don't sharks eat ******s?
They think it's whale ****.

Why does LA have so many fags and NYC have so many ******s?
LA had first choice.
What do you call a chinese ****** with aids?
Coon Die Soon.

Wy do ******s wear wide brimmed hats?
So birds don't **** on their lips.
What did God say when he created the first ******?
Opps, I put the pubes on his head.

How do you get a ****** to put a condom on?
Put a Nike logo on it.
What is a ******?
Proof that skunks **** monkeys.

What language do jewish homos speak?
Heblew.
What do you call a mexican without a lawn mower?
Unemployed.

[~Gangster~]

Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pizza?

Pizzas dont scream in the oven


Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench?

A bench could support a whole family.

[Gulalai]

these aren't jokes

[~Gangster~]

these aren't jokes

o rly??? Why so

[کیش]

What does the Chinese grocery store tell his non-gook customers?

Hully up and buy!

So Solly.

Chinese people can't pronounce R, and they can't say plurals.

As an American, I dislike east Asians. America, **** yea!

[Digital Malang]

^ lol

And Arabs can't pronounce P.

An arab told this american, can i bark (park) here? he was like yea yea you can bark anywhere you want.

hehe....

[Haris]

An Indian man and his brother feel sick so they go to the doctor.

Before the doctor examines them, he asks the Indian man about his personal details.

Doctor: Okay, last question, so how old are you two?
Indian: I am dirty and my brother is dirty too.
Doctor: Uhm...that's nice but I need your age sir.
Indian: I tell you! I am dirty and he is dirty too!
Doctor: ...


^ Indian is trying to say 'I am 30 and my brother is 32'. I was laughing so much when my uncle told me this. Ironically he can't say 'three', he says 'tree' lol

[eyeliner]

^ lol

[sahil112]

One time, there was a black family of four. They heard about this river, and if you swim tho the other side of it, you turn white. So the Dad swims across and turns white, then the Mom, then the sister. When the youngest child, the brother starts to swim across, he is taken away by the current. The sister says, "DADDY' DADDY!, BUBBA IS GETTING TAKEN AWAY BY THE CURRENT!" And the Dad said, "Screw that ******."

A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy." When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman. "That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker. "Oh, den I uses the last names."

A truck driver is driving through a little town in Georgia wit a truck load of bowling balls. In this town there is 2 state troupers who hate truck drivers with a passion. The truck driver sees the two and turns off at the next exit. He sees a little black boy on a bike hitch hicking he picks up the little boy but tells him, "you cant ride up here but you can ride in the back. So he put's the little black boy and his bike in the back and get's back on the interstate. the two state cops see him again and pull him over they start giving him hell just looking for something to write him up for. They can't find anything so they are about to let him go then one says to the other, "We forgot to check the back." So one goes to the back opens the doors, slams them back comes up to the truck driver. The cop is whiter than a ghost and scared as hell, and says "Get the hell out of my town, get the hell out of my county, get the hell out of my state and don't ever come back." So the truck driver leaves. when they get back into the car one looks at the other and says "what the hell did you see back there?" the other says, "That guy was carring a truck load of black babys and one had already hatched and stolen a bike".

This fellow was so deeply in love that just before he was married, he had his bride's name tattooed on his love muscle. Normally, only the first and last letters were visible, although when he was aroused, the tattoo spelled out W-E-N-D-Y. Now they're on their honeymoon at a resort in Montego Bay. One night, in the men's room, this fellow finds himself standing next to a tall Jamaican at the urinal. To his amazement, he notices that this man, too, has the letters W-Y tattooed on his penis. "Excuse me," he says, "but I couldn't help noticing your tattoo. Do you have a girlfriend named Wendy?" "No way, mon, I work for the Tourist board. Mine reads, "Welcome to Jamaica, mon, have a nice day.'

Three third-graders, a Jew, an Italian, and an African American are on the playground at recess. The Jewish kid suggests that they play a new game. "Let's see who has the largest ****," he says. "Okay," they all agree.
The Jewish kid pulls down his zipper and whips it out. "That's nothing," says the Italian kid. He whips his out. His is a couple of inches longer. Not to be outdone, the African American whips his out. It is far the biggest, dwarfing the other two in both length and width. The Jewish and Italian kid are stunned and amazed. "Wow, that thing is huge!" they exclaim.
That night, eating dinner at home, the African American's mother asks him what he did at school today.
"Oh, we worked on a science project, had a math test and read out loud from a new book ...and during recess, my friends and I played "Let's see who has the largest ****."
"What kind of game is that, honey?" says the mother.
"Well, me, Sidney and Anthony each pulled out our penises, and I had the biggest! The other kids say its because I'm black. Is that true, Mom?"
The mom replies: "No, honey. It's because you're twenty-three."

[afghan]

^ its because you are twenty three.

[khashayar]