the process of losing respect for someone

[IamDZJ]

what goes through your mind when that happens?? i get very very frustrated by the very insignificant things that i could very easily overlook otherwise in an individual before that happens. i take it very personal even though it shouldn't concern me most often. which is why i don't like good people in general. when bad people disappoint you by doing something stupid, you take it easy but when good people do it...it hurts because they have no excuse for doing so...

[*Mahzala*]

when bad people disappoint you by doing something stupid, you take it easy but when good people do it...it hurts because they have no excuse for doing so...

So 'bad' people are excused because of their different nature, but good people aren't because ... ? I would think the good are more sensitive to 'bad' things coming their way but their way of dealing with it makes them different from others, which results in the good and the bad which, in my opinion means, they have more excuses for doing 'so'.

Process of losing respect for someone: an inner battle and flood of thoughts and memories where I try to weigh out the good and bad and balance it with the immediate reaction which triggers these thoughts. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

[Manzareh]

so poison, you dont like good people which means you like bad people??? isnt that like really close to devil worship?

[*Mahzala*]

so poison, you dont like good people which means you like bad people??? isnt that like really close to devil worship?

No Manzareh, I think very far from it.

[Manzareh]

why would it be so far though??..cuz if you like bad people, you obviously can only like them because they do bad things, the baddest thing is Satan..in conclusion its not very far at all infact thats what it is even if its subconscience

[IamDZJ]

So 'bad' people are excused because of their different nature, but good people aren't because ... ? I would think the good are more sensitive to 'bad' things coming their way but their way of dealing with it makes them different from others, which results in the good and the bad which, in my opinion means, they have more excuses for doing 'so'.

Process of losing respect for someone: an inner battle and flood of thoughts and memories where I try to weigh out the good and bad and balance it with the immediate reaction which triggers these thoughts. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

so poison, you dont like good people which means you like bad people??? isnt that like really close to devil worship?

a:- to praise one is not to damn the other. to damn one is not to praise the other.
b:- good can turn in to bad but once. once that happens there is no looking back. bad can never truly become good. it can wear the mask of goodness but somewhere somehow that mask comes off. and yes it's only a mask.

[*Mahzala*]

why would it be so far though??..cuz if you like bad people, you obviously can only like them because they do bad things, the baddest thing is Satan..in conclusion its not very far at all infact thats what it is even if its subconscience

Why the worst case scenario though? What does it mean to be bad in this case? Nature, too, like class and wealth nowadays is something perhaps people see as 'inherited' if I may say, where society judges them based on those preconceived behaviours they must meet. What I understood from her post was that her liking for bad people results from her high expectations of not-so-bad people, which if not met, is disappointing.

[Admin Khan]

I believe the problem arises when we set high expectations for people. When we have high expectations, we are quickly disappointed because we expect that person to live up to their standards.

[faye]

i have a general good faith in humanity, which in my personal life has paid off nicely for me but when i look at politics and the horrors that are being created with wars etc, i am very very angered and saddened.

[Azad Khel]

Why the worst case scenario though? What does it mean to be bad in this case? Nature, too, like class and wealth nowadays is something perhaps people see as 'inherited' if I may say, where society judges them based on those preconceived behaviours they must meet. What I understood from her post was that her liking for bad people results from her high expectations of not-so-bad people, which if not met, is disappointing.

This is totally a wrong theory. A good person has bad attributes as he/she has "nafs" and "shytan" with him/her all the time.
Shytan runs in our blood with our blood circulation, thus good people commits sins and this is "BASHARAIAT" Allah says in surah Yousuf:



[وَلَقَدْ هَمَّتْ بِهِ وَهَمَّ بِهَا لَوْلا أَن رَّأَى بُرْهَانَ رَبِّهِ كَذَلِكَ لِنَصْرِفَ عَنْهُ السُّوءَ وَالْفَحْشَآءَ إِنَّهُ مِنْ عِبَادِنَا الْمُخْلَصِينَ ]



(24. And indeed she did desire him, and he would have inclined to her desire, had he not seen the evidence of his Lord. Thus it was, that We might turn away from him evil and immoval sins. Surely, he was one of Our Mukhlasin servants.) This is about the thoughts that cross the mind, according to Al-Baghawi who mentioned this opinion from some of the analysts. Al-Baghawi next mentioned here a Hadith that he narrated from `Abdur Razzaq, from Ma`mar, from Hammam, from Abu Hurayrah, from the Messenger of Allah ,


These words are used for a Nabi and this is our faith that Anbia are "masoom" then what can be said about other common people. Allah loves those people also if they commit sin they repent.
No one is complete and we should not have great expectations from a bashar. But he/she should not be bad all the times.
And Allah says "I will convert their sins with the salihaat(good deeds)", if a person has no sins then how the question arises of converting them into good.

[*Mahzala*]

This is totally a wrong theory. A good person has bad attributes as he/she has "nafs" and "shytan" with him/her all the time.
Shytan runs in our blood with our blood circulation, thus good people commits sins and this is "BASHARAIAT"

I am aware of nafs and shaytaan, however, I wanted to leave that out of this argument thus my question of what it means to be bad and what it means to be good. Sure everyone's definition of this differs, however, the point I was making was merely to clarify that with certain people's expectations one is either labelled good or bad too, thus the not-so-good comparison of inheritance which, in simple terms means, if I belonged to a good family, people would naturally expect me to be good, but if I turned out otherwise, it would result in disappointment. That is the point I was conferring with Manzareh about his stance on DZJ's posts, not a theory, no.

[Notorious Pashtana]

Sometimes (well, a lot of the times) people aren't really what they expose themselves as. I've noted that I've had more online disappointments than in real life.

In real life I would see what I get and in an average situation I'd find someone two-faced. My disappointment would stand but I'd soon realise that it's my lack of judgement of the person, or even carelessness on the amount i share with someone I don't really know too well that has caused me the disappointment.

Online however, you interpret words according to your own mentality or nature. Most often the person at the other end would mean to say it differently. Misinterpretations and misjudgements are more easily caused. Not to mention, many are just out to entertain themselves and would put on any act, so if you're sensitive, that'll be a massive disappointment.

[Azad Khel]

Sometimes (well, a lot of the times) people aren't really what they expose themselves as. I've noted that I've had more online disappointments than in real life.

In real life I would see what I get and in an average situation I'd find someone two-faced. My disappointment would stand but I'd soon realise that it's my lack of judgement of the person, or even carelessness on the amount i share with someone I don't really know too well that has caused me the disappointment.

Online however, you interpret words according to your own mentality or nature. Most often the person at the other end would mean to say it differently. Misinterpretations and misjudgements are more easily caused. Not to mention, many are just out to entertain themselves and would put on any act, so if you're sensitive, that'll be a massive disappointment.

This is true, there is always a gap in online communication/discussion. For example, in previous post, I wanted to say that we have sometimes or all ther times great expectations from a person who is good in our eyes or we expect a bad thing from a person who is bad in our opinion. This is not always true. I wanted to clearify this general view but I wrote it in Mahzala's post and she assumed it that I was reffering her post specifically.

Yes, family background is fundamental but does not always work. The brothers of Yousuf(a.s.) were muslims and the sons of a prophet despite that fact they threw their step brother in the well.
The wives of the Prophet made a plot to stop hui to go to the house of one of his wife Hazrat Zainab Bint Jahash(r.a.). The son and wife of Harzat Noh(a.s.) were non believers and were against him. The wife of Lut(a.s.) was a non believer and was against him.

Yes, I agree with Mahzala that we should balance one's good and bad acts and judge him/her on the result.

[Amir al Ghaznavi]

Man is a political animal, and inherently looks out for its own interests. I never assume others will be 100% good, or 100% altruistic.

Never put yourself in a situation where you are forced to rely 100% on others

I have family and good friends, that I trust alot. But never 100%