In Limbo

[Zayam]

Have just been back in the States 1 week now. Feel in limbo, so much of my heart is in the East but my body is in the West......

[Laila]

Zayam, I definitely know how you feel.

[faye]

me too. i know that one. there are freedoms there that are not in the west and freedoms in the west that are not there. the multidimentional feeling of being closer to nature and the alivenes of the east and the people there, is so special.

[Laila]

^ Also, it feels that you belong with your own people.....you feel like you have a connection that you just want to make stronger by actually being by their side.

[faye]

i can't feel that, obviously but i am more comfortable in the east and have a lovely relationship with the people there, better than in my own country. the people are more vital there and i connect with that as i am straight forward and passionate about life.

[tor_khan]

Putting the scientific reasons aside as to how we process information about the world around us, I always say that the [that is "my"] "head is western*, but that the heart is eastern."

The East (whilst not a uniform bloc) is passionate, dynamic, raw, innovative and a lot more in touch with the soul. The West misses that last bit. Sure, systems work better in many instances, but despite the general material wealth, the public services and the laws, I get the feeling, time and time again, that there's more to life than small print legislation.

*schooled in England

[Pakhtunzai]

I feel like that everytime I come back from Pakistan, I've been backhome a total of 5 times now. Everytime I go I feel I learn many new lessons with people because its a complete social life there as theres family and people everywhere closeby. I learnt that there is so much decency in people and the presense of islam is strong, this is partly whats kept my imaan strong. Whereas here in the West we are isolated in four walls and it gets really depressing at times. Over there my health really improves because it brings up the positivity in my mind, hearing the adhaan, waking up to the birds singing, seeing my little cousins running around and screaming. Occasionally bathing in the monsoon rains with my cousin brothers, it feels like such a blessing to be there. Most of all there is absolutely no or little western influence because I'm from the village, theres no music, television, games or any internet. I love the fact that I just have to make do with the land and family there but here its totally the opposite.

My heart clenches everytime I remember backhome...I try to go back every summer ka khair wee...

[Zayam]

^ Also, it feels that you belong with your own people.....you feel like you have a connection that you just want to make stronger by actually being by their side.

Laila-what makes my own people my own people? It can not be blood so it must be my heart. I mean everyone one here knows by now that I am not Pashtun by blood, only Called by Allah to open my heart to the Pashtun I meet.

Maybe somewhere our blood has crossed? My love is deep, my passion strong!