4 wives!!

[MeemWawMeemNoon]

So, you are saying the Holy Quran is book that contradicts itself and Allah is does not know human nature?

[Roshina]

So, you are saying the Holy Quran is book that contradicts itself and Allah is does not know human nature?

I did not say that. :| Please quote me where I made such a ridiculous claim.

[MeemWawMeemNoon]

Here, what if your husband would be able to deal equally with all of his wives, would you allow him?

[Roshina]

Here, what if your husband would be able to deal equally with all of his wives, would you allow him?

Nope. Still not - because I wouldn't want to share my husband with other women, though that might sound selfish to some.

And, as the second verse says (4:129), a man cannot treat his wives equally even if he wants to, so it's obviously not possible.

And, hey, I'd like for you to elaborate on the history of polygamy and explain the two verses I posted above (maybe just say why God would tell men to treat their wives equally and then say that it's not possible after all), if you don't mind, please. Manana.

[MeemWawMeemNoon]

I feel that you are really sincere. I really love your approach.

There is a reason why I have not shown to have agreed with your posts despite agreeing with them. I felt that I would be able to get more constructive thinking out of you. Which I have.

You have done a good job so far.

Let us focus on what the Holy Quran is trying to convey. What do you say, dearest Qrratagai?

[Michin Khel]

If the first wife is sterile ,a man can do second marraige.

[Zari]

If the first wife is sterile ,a man can do second marraige.

LOL...hmmmm its not always the girls fault...some men are sterile..but dont like to accept it..so they go and blame thier wifes!!...

i still wouldnt want him to remarry....

[Master Khan]

My uncle got 2 wifes and trust me he is never at home...just night times and lunch lol

[Pakhtunzai]

Der manana pakhtoongal, some brother mentioned this in a talk at college last year...Fantastic story..The main moral of this that we concentrate on building our soul because its everlasting and will never go, which is what will count in the afterlife. Things like beauty, wealth and the dunya won't stay with us, it will eventually go and we will regret why we spent so much time on these things. Concentrate on what counts and don't be sucked into the dunya

Now to marrying more than 1 woman, i would never accept because no matter what we won't be able to treat them equally such are the times now. In the times of the Prophet (SAW) the sahaba were pious, sincere and really good people, they were able to treat their wives equally. Even if the most good hearted of people marry more than 1 its a great risk because its really difficult to upkeep this duty...i just wouldn't take the risk kana..Ps marrying one wife is enough, you are completing half you deen are you not?

[mashaal]

LOL...hmmmm its not always the girls fault...some men are sterile..but dont like to accept it..so they go and blame thier wifes!!...

i still wouldnt want him to remarry....

lolly..typical u..
and yeah...i would murder my hubby if he remarried...and then i would haunt his wifes forevaaaaaaaaa

[Laila]

lolly..typical u..
and yeah...i would murder my hubby if he remarried...and then i would haunt his wifes forevaaaaaaaaa

I would sooooo do that too!

[Master Khan]

I think having 4 wifes is a good thing. There are more woman then men, if we all mary 1 person there will be hundreds of millions of unmarried woman...what do they do?

Don't forget about the kids lol, you would have like 20 kids then.

[Laila]

My grandmother from moms side had 15 pregnancies, and only 3 pregnancies occured fully. She was ill through out her life. But never once, did my grandfather even think about marry another wife. He loved her deeply.


If my husband got another wife, i would feel so deeply hurt. I wouldnt even stay with him at all.


Both my great grandfathers had more than one wife.

[Abu Hurayrah]

That verse on polygamy has to be read in the social and historical context in which it was sent. It reads:

If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, Marry women of your choice, Two or three or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or (a captive) that your right hands possess, that will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice. (Quran, 4:3)

Why do you suppose it starts off talking about orphans and not women in general? Orphan symbolizes an oppressed individual, not respected by society much of the time. The verse was sent after the Battle of Uhud, when lots of men had lost their lives and women were left as widows and orphans. In order to keep the social order of the society, God revealed the verse permitting polygamy to allow women to be married.

Unfortunately, we don't read this verse in context and take it to mean that a man can marry up to 4 wives just like that. We also don't remember the other verse of the Quran that tells men in clear words that:

You will not be able to deal equally between (your) wives, however much you wish (to do so). But turn not altogether away (from one), leaving her as in suspense. If you do good and keep from evil, lo! Allah is ever Forgiving, Merciful. (Quran, 4:129)

This above verse has been used by some countries, like Tunisia, to completely ban polygamy (officially), although of course, that doesn't mean people won't do it anymore.

So, I'd never, ever allow my husband to have another wife while he's married to me, especially when God has made it clear to him that he can never treat his wives equally anyway -- even though another verse obliges him to treat all his wives equally.

If my husband thinks that he just wants to support an orphan, a widow, or a divorced woman, that's great with me, and I'm all okay with that -- but while I'd support such women simply financially, morally, and otherwise, I won't allow my husband to actually marry them. He doesn't have to MARRY her to support her. If he insists, though, then we will have to divorce before he does, as I'd much rather he "support" a woman in need than me.

One of my points here being that although the Quran wants to help people like orphans, I as a woman/wife am not obligated to be okay with my husband's choice of having other wives besides me.

«اللَّهُمَّ هَذَا قَسْمِي فِيمَا أَمْلِكُ، فَلَا تَلُمْنِي فِيمَا تَمْلِكُ وَلَا أَمْلِك»


(O Allah! This is my division in what I own, so do not blame me for what You own and I do not own) referring to his heart.

This was the dua of the Messenger of Allah sallalahu aleyhi wasallam. Being unfair, was concerning the heart.

[Levanaye Zalmaye]

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