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  • 4 wives!!

    Once upon a time. There was a rich merchant who had four (4) wives. He loved the 4th wife the most and adorned her with rich robes and treated her to delicacies. He took great care of her and gave her nothing but the best.
    He also loved the 3rd wife very much. He's very proud of her and always wanted to show off her to his friends. However, the merchant is always in great fear that she might run away with some other men.
    He too, loved his 2nd wife. She was a very considerate person, always patient and in fact is the merchant's confidante. Whenever the merchant faced some problems, he would always turn to his 2nd wife and she would always help him out and tide him through difficult times.
    Now, the merchant's 1st wife is a very loyal partner and has made great contributions in maintaining his wealth and business as well as taking care of the household. However, the merchant did not love the first wife and although she loved him deeply, he hardly took notice of her.
    One day, the merchant fell ill. Before long, he knew that he was going to die soon. He thought of his luxurious life and told himself, "Now I have 4 wives with me. But when I die, I'll be alone. How lonely I'll be!" Thus, he asked the 4th wife, "I loved you most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?"
    "No way!" replied the 4th wife and she walked away without another word.
    The answer cut like a sharp knife right into the merchant's heart.
    The sad merchant then asked the 3rd wife, "I have loved you so much for all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?"
    "No!" replied the 3rd wife. "Life is so good over here! I'm going to remarry when you die!" The merchant's heart sank and turned cold.
    He then asked the 2nd wife, "I always turned to you for help and you've always helped me out. Now I need your help again. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?" "I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!" replied the 2nd wife. "At the very most, I can only send you to your grave." The answer came like a bolt of thunder and the merchant was devastated.
    Then a voice called out: "I'll leave with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go." The merchant looked up and there was his first wife. She was so skinny, almost like she suffered from malnutrition.
    Greatly grieved, the merchant said, "I should have taken care of you when I could. Now, you are the only one whom I can take with me!"
    Our life is similar to this story:

    The 4th wife is our body. No matter how much time and effort we lavish in making it look good, it'll leave us when we die.
    Our 3rd wife is our possessions, status and wealth. When we die, they all go to others.
    The 2nd wife is our family and friends. No matter how close they had been there for us when we're alive, the furthest they can stay by us is up to the grave.
    The 1st wife is in fact our soul, often neglected in our pursuit of material wealth and sensual pleasure.
    Guess what? It is actually the only thing that follows us wherever we go. Perhaps it's a good idea to cultivate and strengthen it now rather than to wait until we're on our deathbed. To avoid the regret, take care of your 1st wife!

  • #2
    Wow deer Manana..even though I never think about marrying 4 wifes..lol, It can be a nightmare having 4 wifes

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    • #3
      ^ have you guys noted the great message at the end of the story?

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Master Khan View Post
        Wow deer Manana..even though I never think about marrying 4 wifes..lol, It can be a nightmare having 4 wifes
        4 wives........really a nightmare
        [FONT=Arial][SIZE=4][COLOR=darkred]Barking Dogs Seldom Bite...![/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]
        :fighting:

        LONG LIVE UNITED PAKISTAN

        ([B]Balochi + Sindi + Punjabi + Pashtoon + Chitrali + Kashmiri = My Sweet Pakistan[/B])

        Jeeway Jeeway Pakistan

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        • #5
          The khatib (man who gives the khutbah) at a mosque near my house ALWAYS makes sure to tell us this story, over and over and over again. I mean, that's ALL he ever talks about! :| I'm on the brink of suggesting a few topics to him to speak on for at least the next 10 khutbahs he might plan to give.

          Oh, and ... just to comment on the story itself ... considering its message is to appreciate everyone (in this case, all of your wives equally) and not be biased or practice nepotism of any sort, it could just have been on a person who favors certain friends over others, and not necessarily about a man's four wives, yeah?

          Still, a good message for all. Hopefully, we learn something from it and actually apply it to our lives.
          Last edited by Guest; 05-15-2010, 11:23 PM.

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          • #6
            2 slots open..

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            • #7
              daghadi baisharma "2 slots open"

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              • #8
                I got the message at the end, but if I was super rich or like the merchant could sustain life well then yes I would also love the 4. Why not?

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Afghan_Soldier View Post
                  I got the message at the end, but if I was super rich or like the merchant could sustain life well then yes I would also love the 4. Why not?
                  LOL..if my hubby married 4 times...i would BUTCHER him!!

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by baidariwal View Post
                    daghadi baisharma "2 slots open"
                    lol!

                    Originally posted by pakhtoongal View Post
                    LOL..if my hubby married 4 times...i would BUTCHER him!!
                    Yeah, totally! Me too! If he even THOUGHT about getting another wife while married to me, I'd SO butcher him.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Afghanlady
                      butcher him? I'd cut his throat.
                      lol ... that's just as good as butchering, no worries

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                      • #12
                        For those who are Muslim, why are you against a man marrying 4 wives?
                        Islam will prevail, a promise made by the Creator of this universe:

                        [61:8] They desire to extinguish the light of Allah with the breath of their mouths, but Allah will perfect His light, even if the disbelievers hate it.

                        [61:9] He it is Who has sent His Messenger with the guidance and the Religion of truth, that He may cause it to prevail over all religions, even if those who associate partners with God hate it.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by MeemWawMeemNoon View Post
                          For those who are Muslim, why are you against a man marrying 4 wives?
                          Because no woman wants to share her husband with another woman (just as no man would ever like to share his wife with another man). We know they can never treat us equally anyway.

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                          • #14
                            So, why do you think it is allowed in the Quran?
                            Islam will prevail, a promise made by the Creator of this universe:

                            [61:8] They desire to extinguish the light of Allah with the breath of their mouths, but Allah will perfect His light, even if the disbelievers hate it.

                            [61:9] He it is Who has sent His Messenger with the guidance and the Religion of truth, that He may cause it to prevail over all religions, even if those who associate partners with God hate it.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by MeemWawMeemNoon View Post
                              So, why do you think it is allowed in the Quran?
                              That verse on polygamy has to be read in the social and historical context in which it was sent. It reads:

                              If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, Marry women of your choice, Two or three or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or (a captive) that your right hands possess, that will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice.
                              (Quran, 4:3)

                              Why do you suppose it starts off talking about orphans and not women in general? Orphan symbolizes an oppressed individual, not respected by society much of the time. The verse was sent after the Battle of Uhud, when lots of men had lost their lives and women were left as widows and orphans. In order to keep the social order of the society, God revealed the verse permitting polygamy to allow women to be married.

                              Unfortunately, we don't read this verse in context and take it to mean that a man can marry up to 4 wives just like that. We also don't remember the other verse of the Quran that tells men in clear words that:

                              You will not be able to deal equally between (your) wives, however much you wish (to do so). But turn not altogether away (from one), leaving her as in suspense. If you do good and keep from evil, lo! Allah is ever Forgiving, Merciful. (Quran, 4:129)

                              This above verse has been used by some countries, like Tunisia, to completely ban polygamy (officially), although of course, that doesn't mean people won't do it anymore.

                              So, I'd never, ever allow my husband to have another wife while he's married to me, especially when God has made it clear to him that he can never treat his wives equally anyway -- even though another verse obliges him to treat all his wives equally.

                              If my husband thinks that he just wants to support an orphan, a widow, or a divorced woman, that's great with me, and I'm all okay with that -- but while I'd support such women simply financially, morally, and otherwise, I won't allow my husband to actually marry them. He doesn't have to MARRY her to support her. If he insists, though, then we will have to divorce before he does, as I'd much rather he "support" a woman in need than me.

                              One of my points here being that although the Quran wants to help people like orphans, I as a woman/wife am not obligated to be okay with my husband's choice of having other wives besides me.

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