Headwear

[Haris]

This is my favourite piece of headwear:






Until of course I get my lungey

[Zmarak]

I usually wear pakol or lungee. I notice women talking about wearing hijab in this thread. Is it strange that I wouldn't be seen in public with a woman who isn't observing some form of proper hijab? It's a matter of honour for me but what is your opinion? My wife wears full chadri or a tekri usually, occassionally she does something with long scarf around the neck and head. She actually refuses to even open the door and pick up mail without full covering. And we have "black out" curtains over all the windows for privacy so as to not worry about people seeing inside. So I suppose I'm out of touch with some Pashtuns living in the West? Is it common for women to wear no form of hijab over themselves in public?

[IamDZJ]

^ so what is the difference between a prison cell and your house?? i don't understand why your wife has to be covered to that extent but that is her choice and i respect her for that but are the black curtains necessary?

[Zmarak]

^ so what is the difference between a prison cell and your house?? i don't understand why your wife has to be covered to that extent but that is her choice and i respect her for that but are the black curtains necessary?

They're not actually black, just called "black out" curtains because they're so thick you can't see through them. You may not believe this but those specific curtains were HER idea haha. I just wanted moderately thick curtains because we both enjoy privacy in the home in a way that Westerners don't seem to understand. But she found these curtains in catalog and wanted to order them for every window that wasn't covered with a rug. This may also be surprising to you. I've told her many times that it should be okay to just quickly open the door and grab mail at times when nobody is around but she still refuses.

[IamDZJ]

dude, that's not good. heaven forbid should your child be ill and you not around to take him/her to the hospital. or you fall sick someday..what will she do?? wait till someone shows up?? she should just dress appropriately and get her mail when she feels like it. it's not good for the children either.

[Zmarak]

It's no problem really. Dressing appropriate to her is just any properly covering hijab. She only won't open the door because she often wears nothing covering the head at home. I recently opened the door to get the mail myself and she ducked behind a wall haha. I suppose that may be strange to some people but it's how both of us were raised. If a child needed medical attention, she would grab something, cover herself and get it to a hospital. In emergency situation, she COULD and would do something. I assure you there is no oppression of women haha with my family, if that's what you think. Everything is mutual and understood. I wouldn't be around a woman that did certain things only because I or any person wanted them to. If a person is not doing something of their own free will for genuine reason then the act is invalid.

[IamDZJ]

I never said she is oppressed. You made it seem like she is afraid of someone camping on the side walk with his binoculars. It's good that she is concerned about covering her head while she gets the mail and you are wrong to suggest she wait and get it quickly when no one is around. She doesn't have to act like a robber in her own house.
There is the Islamic way of dressing up and then the other way where you hide everything except your eyeballs. You do that*to preserve your dignity in a society where teaching men to respect women who are not their sister wife or mother has not been a priority.
When I go to Peshawar or nangrahar, I wear the niqaab. I don't think of myself as someone who is oppressed all of a sudden. Sometimes preserving your imaan is not enough so you have to do something about your dignity too. And its important to teach your children the difference.
you should get rid of the black whatever things you have your windows covered with. Your neighbors must be really curious and concerned as to what might be happening inside your house. Get white and burgundy ones..

[IamDZJ]

When you act that paranoid or dress up that way in a society where it's not required for you to do so, you are oppressed.*
When you live in the fear of something that only exists inside your head, you see oppressed.

[kakargirl]

They're not actually black, just called "black out" curtains because they're so thick you can't see through them. You may not believe this but those specific curtains were HER idea haha. I just wanted moderately thick curtains because we both enjoy privacy in the home in a way that Westerners don't seem to understand. But she found these curtains in catalog and wanted to order them for every window that wasn't covered with a rug. This may also be surprising to you. I've told her many times that it should be okay to just quickly open the door and grab mail at times when nobody is around but she still refuses.

Brother wrote a long message but quoted the wrong person , your posts are facts of pashtun women in uk are more strict them selves than the men are,when you wrote all this your family seems familiar great posts , this is real hijab.

[Zmarak]

(most of you can simply skip this post haha) You will forgive me for being off topic here but because I made the error of bringing private family details to a public forum, I must respond since someone feels need to make fatwas about how we choose to live even though all I asked was how common is it for Pashtun women in the West to not observe hijab...

It's good that she is concerned about covering her head while she gets the mail and you are wrong to suggest she wait and get it quickly when no one is around. She doesn't have to act like a robber in her own house.

The person who is quick to pass judgement upon others to the extent of directly informing that they are wrong when they themselves are a mere spectator lacking any detailed personal knowledge of the subject's true motives and reasoning may perhaps be the person who is infact wrong. In this case, I suggested that she wait until no one is around because she does not want anyone seeing her without a covering and didn't feel like going to put one on. I was half dressed myself so I also couldn't go out. There is nothing "wrong" in saying maybe you can get it quickly since no one is out at this time of day. You're analyzing the wrong part of a story. I used that as example of contrasting mentalities and views on observing hijab.

There is the Islamic way of dressing up and then the other way where you hide everything except your eyeballs.

I would be very careful about issuing statements regarding anyone's manner of dress as "the Islamic way of dressing up" unless you can support whatever claims you may have with authentic hadith or Quran. Now, I don't know what you view as Islamic but the Prophet (saw) revealed to us what is asked to be covered. How someone chooses to cover it is their decision. It is stated many times through both Quran and hadith that nothing should show except hands and face. Scholars have different interpretations about what the face is but nonetheless, this is the clear and apparent truth of what Allah (swt) wants of his women beyond puberty. What is troubling is that someone has the nerve to issue subtle insinuation that those women who choose to cover MORE than what is required are somehow dressing in a NON-Islamic way or that there is something wrong with choosing to cover more. This is very dangerous territory to tread as you may someday have to answer for these things that you insinuate depending on your motive but I'm not the judge of that. And now I'll issue a fatwa of my own - When women choose to cover MORE than face and hands, this is the choice of the individual and between them and Allah (swt). They should not be condemned or made to feel as though it is wrong by ANY element of the ummah for making that decision. Also, the location of the women who choose to cover more should not be a factor in judging their decision, as we have no right to make this type of judgement upon them, we do not understand the reasoning of each of these women. To do so is to indulge in arrogance, self righteousness and the Western god-complex. All of these characteristics are in direct contrast to the character of the Muslim.
I see many women wearing niqqab around here, there were 3 in the local grocery last week. My wife chooses to wear a chadri/shuttlecock burqa some days because she has sentimental attachment to them and thinks they're pretty. I think it would be an atrocity if someone in a power position began demeaning Afghan women worldwide who choose to wear that garment (or the niqqab or any face veil) and telling them that it is wrong. Equally wrong however is telling them that it is somehow required by Islamic principles.

get rid of the black whatever things you have your windows covered with. Your neighbors must be really curious and concerned as to what might be happening inside your house. Get white and burgundy ones..

(they're green and burgundy in color, you just can't see through them and light won't penetrate them) Well, I would get rid of them but since my family wants them there and would be upset if I removed them I won't go against their will.

Well, need to go clean cat's litter box...

[kakargirl]

black out curtains.jpgBlackout curtains.

[Al Hanif]

This is my favourite piece of headwear:






Until of course I get my lungey

what is it made of ? wool ?

[kakargirl]

^Depends some are made from lamb wool, some are made from camel wool ect they are 100% wool and smell when you wash them until they dry but whiles drying never hang them straight it loses shape and never wash in washing machine or spin them unless you want a smaller out of shape size.

[Haris]

what is it made of ? wool ?

Made from Afghan wool by Afghan hands in the Afghan lands.