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Default ~ You know you're Qandaharai when... - 07-21-2010, 01:04 AM

You go on a picnic with your family and put the food on the tables and you yourselves sit on the grass.

Your parents try to hook you up with your 4th cousin they have never seen before "kho khpalwaan di".

You freeze any kind of edible product.. From meatballs, over banjan, over Ashak, over bread, over chocolate to dried and regular fruit, bia yaw wakht pa kaarijhi!

You collect all free items you can get, pens, notebooks, fliers in Spanish and Chinese.. Anything - bia yaw wakht pa kaarijhi!

When your mom sews, she doesn't throw away any of the left over fabric - bia yaw yakht pa kaarijhi!

Your parents want to call you, they will call the name of each and everyone in your extended family, before they reach yours

You spend hundreds of dollars for a nice 'da dodai mez' and you only use it once a month when you have guests over and you need a place to put the food on - so you can get it from there and eat on the ground.

It's ok that all of your arms are showing but your shoulders must be covered, hence is why you're wearing a t-shirt under that Dolce and Gabbana gown for your cousin's wedding

Your Kofta is doing the Aubaazi in oil

Lashkargaah and Arghandaab were the places your parents went for their Melas

You wear long sleeve shirts and long pants and are ridiculously fussy about being in the shade in the summer so you don't get a tan and can stay "sha speen/sha speena"

A woman is only considered feminine if she has absolutely no hair growing on any part of her body .. and at the same time manages to have THINK eyebrows, eyelashes and abnormally thick, long and curly hair. Her worth is sometimes measured by the thickness of her Chotay; you have failed in life as a girl if your Chotay becomes thinner as you grow, ("Pa Kochinwaali di doghonda Chotay wuh, chi pa dwo Laso na niwal keday!")

At any given time, two or more men are likely to discuss Kandahar, Karzai's family and in-laws, Mullah Omar and the current Wali of Kandahar and his hobbies (such as Sagwaani)

Politicians get nicknames based upon their reputation and hobbies, such as 'Sagwaan'

EVERYONE.. And I repeat EVERYONE can be referred to and should be effered to as "Zoya" (if they're your age and younger and if you're a guy)

The level of you masculinity is determined by the length, the frequency and the magnitude of your usage of the expression "ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAYY"

You shelf-life as marriage material expires as soon as you hit 25 as a girl - or get a tan and are not "sra au speena" anymore

You parents know every single person that has ever lived in Qandahar, lives in Qandahar, will ever live in Qandahar or are related to anyone who falls into any of those three categories; yet, they fail to remember your name when they're calling you.

When women get bored, they sit together and talk about people who lived in Qandahar some 25-50 years ago and discuss their lives in such depth that by now you are convinced that they want to write a book called "The Biographies of The Most Influential Qandaharian"

No matter the occasion, if you dance as a girl, you're labeled Rakhseenda and your social life as an Qandahari and shelf life as marriage material is over.

You curse at everyone in Pashto. No matter if you love the or hate them, are related to them by blood or don’t even know them.

Your parents are trying to curse at you but end up insulting themselves ( Da Khrra Zo, da spee zo, Da Haywaan zaata, Da Washi Zaata, haramooney, Haramzada, Padarnalat, Madarnalat, you name it.)

Every man in your family, from your two-year old brother to your great-grandfather hates Indian movies and everything associated with India, Pakistan, Bollywood, Lollywood, Urdu and Hindi.

Every male person is [Plankay] Kaakaa

Every female person is [Bestanay] Khala

Your mom simply refers to your father as "day", or "Plaar mu", or "Da Halakoo Plaar"

You father simply refers to your mom as "daa" or "Mor mu" or "Da Halakoo Mor"

Your supply of dried food never ends.

You're considered too Americanized if you wear sunglasses

When you fight at a Melmastia over washing the dishes with 12 other women who have squished into the kitchen, you're main argument is "Taa kho nadi zda, ta ye sam naseh prewlalay"

You feel defeated when you don't win the fight over the dishes even though your mom has to throw shoes at you to get you to wash dishes at home.

You can determine how far away the person is that your parents are talking to on the phone based on how loudly they're screaming into the phone

- If you're a guy - your mother saves dinner for you even though you come home at 2 am and told your mom some 14 times that you're eating out

- If you're a girl - Your mother calls you badharwa for wanting to eat your share of dinner because if you eat, there won't be any food left for your brother to eat when he comes home from eating out with the guys at 2 am.

You've had various objects thrown at you for banal reasons: Bot, Chaplakee, Pataateh, Kotbandoona, Piyaaz etc.

When Pashto spoken outside the boundries of Qandahaar is not considered "real Pashto, and people speaking it are referred to as 'Mongawaal' or 'Oogarry' (No harsh feelings, I love you guys )

When your mom thinks she has a terminal illness if you tell her you want to marry a non-Qandaharai and threatens you saying that she'll commit suicide if you do.

When you are a momma's boy even at 30.

When you think Kandahar is the real capital of Afghanistan.

When you secretly have a place in your heart for the Taliban.

Believe it's your God given right to rule Afghanistan.

Live and die to pick a fight with just anyone, be it your brother.

Your Lungi's Shamla brooms the floor when you walk.

There is at least one woman in your family who wears the fanciest suits from Macy's with a die-hard-Kotana made in Herat Bazaar, Qandahar.

When you don't kiss men on the cheek when you greet them (as a girl AND a boy :D )

When you have tasted the best anaar and best apples ever

You see men get into a wrestle at Afghan functions when it's time to eat and pray. This isn't done out of spite, it's just them being hospitable. To give you a better illustration of what I'm talking about: "Ta dar makha sa" [puts arm on the others back and pushes him] "Ya'ah ta der zaa" [grabs him by the arm, pulling him along] "Kho, ta de yowari Dodai wakha" [gets into a headlock] "Wallah ke wakham!" [gets into a semi-tackle] "ya'ah, wallah ka ye bal shay ke!".. "kho ma Qassam wakhestey!!" [and the fight is on]






(By Shlombay, I made a few additions here and there.. =) )



Daa zma lewanay Zrra gorah, daa sta lewanee Mina..
Za ba da Sahra warnakam da Iran pa Golestan,
Dalta za yao & yakta yam, halta zar zma pa Shaan
.

Last edited by Mayana; 07-21-2010 at 01:56 AM.
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AnGaaR
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Default 07-21-2010, 01:28 AM

U know he is qandarai when he is walking in the street holding his Sadar (men scarf) by his teeth :P
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Default 07-21-2010, 11:24 AM

'we speal real pashto'

funny and interesting list Mayana thank you and manana.
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Nora Nora is offline
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Default 07-21-2010, 11:32 AM

i have never see any kandahari in europe that who wear scarf or act like pashtuns i dont know, mostly they perfer to speak farsi then pashtoo, and they dont get along with other pashtuns unfortunately
i hope kandahari guys dont mind it
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Default 07-21-2010, 11:34 AM

When you don't kiss men on the cheek when you greet them (as a girl AND a boy :D )

what do u mean lolz do u have to kiss them? what about if they r namahram?
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Marwat
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Default 07-21-2010, 12:04 PM

I am from Quetta and we speak pashto liike kandaharis do. I relate to this list a lot since I consider to be kandahari too. From quetta.
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Default 07-21-2010, 12:43 PM

oh my Goodness... i related to most of this...

my mom freezes every edible thing... we have a never ending supply of ashak and bolani, sra karri tor banjaan and what not...

thanks mayano!
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Default 07-21-2010, 12:56 PM

LOL! This is brilliant Mayana, and you know quite a lot of this can be said for most Pashtuns. =)
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khyaal khyaal is offline
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Default 07-21-2010, 02:21 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by AnGaaR View Post
U know he is qandarai when he is walking in the street holding his Sadar (men scarf) by his teeth :P
It is the same here even in my own village near Peshawar. I like it.
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Mayana Mayana is offline
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Default 07-21-2010, 02:54 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Naatki View Post
i have never see any kandahari in europe that who wear scarf or act like pashtuns i dont know, mostly they perfer to speak farsi then pashtoo, and they dont get along with other pashtuns unfortunately
i hope kandahari guys dont mind it
Im not a Qandahari guy, but I do mind Khori lol.
You can't judge all of Qandaharian based upon the few you have met. I am from Qandahar and I know.. one single family that speaks Dari rather than Pasto, for whatever reasons.. having spent endless time in Kabul etc... Makhsad it's not true that we prefer to be with nonPashtuns, you've just been hanging around the wrong people then. If that were true, there wouldn't be countless Qandaharian on here


Quote:
Originally Posted by Naatki View Post
When you don't kiss men on the cheek when you greet them (as a girl AND a boy :D )

what do u mean lolz do u have to kiss them? what about if they r namahram?
LOL it specifically says 'when you do NOT kiss men on the cheek'. You don't have to kiss them lol it's just that it is a tradition among some people that men kiss one another on the cheeks while greeting.. or that men and women kiss one another on the cheeks while greeting. That bullet points out that wedont do that for reasons you have mentioned. =)



Daa zma lewanay Zrra gorah, daa sta lewanee Mina..
Za ba da Sahra warnakam da Iran pa Golestan,
Dalta za yao & yakta yam, halta zar zma pa Shaan
.
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