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Default Marry a kid? - 06-18-2010, 08:28 PM

Salamoona everyone
Most of you guys have noticed that in Afghanistan specially in amongst pashtoons a teen girl aged 14 or less is forced to marry a man of her grand father's age.
a couple of yrs back 12 yrs old girl was married to 57 yrs old man.
in other cities or north these things rarely happen too (between tajiks,uzbek and hazara ).

Is it a good thing? should it be stopped or not?
do you think a 12 yrs old girl is ok for a 55 or 60 yrs old man?
is it in islam or against?
..


Please answer the 2nd question too
The 2nd question is about Dushmani and laters giving away hands of ur sister's daughters to the victim's family.
Many ppl fight and kill eachother, to solve the problems,enemity or to get rid of revange they hand over their family members' (girls) to the victim's family. Is it a good thing? what happens to that girl who goes to the victim's home? will she ever enjoy a second of her life?
wont she face cruelity?
wont she be oppressed
wont she decide to commit suicide (many have done or tried)

Last edited by AnGaaR; 06-18-2010 at 08:30 PM.
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Default 06-18-2010, 09:21 PM

In Islam you can't force people into marriage, and then forcing a 12 year old kid to marry a old buda is just wrong, may allah help her.
Who every do these horrible and sick acts then Naalat sha pi.


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خیبر پښتونخوا manana Tor Khan
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Default 06-19-2010, 02:52 AM

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Default 06-19-2010, 03:28 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by AnGaaR View Post
Salamoona everyone
Most of you guys have noticed that in Afghanistan specially in amongst pashtoons a teen girl aged 14 or less is forced to marry a man of her grand father's age.
a couple of yrs back 12 yrs old girl was married to 57 yrs old man.
in other cities or north these things rarely happen too (between tajiks,uzbek and hazara ).

Is it a good thing? should it be stopped or not?
do you think a 12 yrs old girl is ok for a 55 or 60 yrs old man?
is it in islam or against?
Educated and middle class Pashtuns do no marry girls of tender age of 11, 12 ,13 or even 16 years. We can assume that poverty and illiteracy increases the ratio of such marriages as this trend is mostly in FATA and Afghanistan. So this problem can be easily fixed by increasing the literacy rate in pashtuns.
Those Members who live in foriegn, should remember that there is no concept of love marriage in traditional Pashtun society. In most of the marriages that take place in villages, girls have no choice but to agree to marry the man accepted by her parent as her husband. Incidents of love affairs end in tragedies. So usage of word "forced" for marriage of 12 or 13 year old girl only is not appropriate as literally girl of every age are usually forced to accept the decision of their Parents.
I think according to Islam it is ok to marry the girl of 11, 12, 13 and so on if she has hit the puberty. But in this case we should also consider the laws of our country, for example in pakistan marrying a girl below 16 is not allowed and doing sexual intercourse with wife of 13 or below 13 is considered as rape. We should discourage child marriages, but we cant discourage it as a muslim, we have to think it in this case as a human.

Quote:
Please answer the 2nd question too
The 2nd question is about Dushmani and laters giving away hands of ur sister's daughters to the victim's family.
Many ppl fight and kill eachother, to solve the problems,enemity or to get rid of revange they hand over their family members' (girls) to the victim's family. Is it a good thing? what happens to that girl who goes to the victim's home? will she ever enjoy a second of her life?
wont she face cruelity?
wont she be oppressed
wont she decide to commit suicide (many have done or tried)
It is called as "Badal" and the girl given in badal faces horrible treatment from her in-laws.
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Default 06-19-2010, 03:34 AM

Luffy that is not badal but swara.
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Default 06-19-2010, 03:36 AM

I'd never want to marry a kid. Your wife is supposed to take care of you and if it's the other way round (that is, that you have to take care of her, get her ready for school everyday, do the semi-heavy lifting yourself, etc) life's gonna suck.

By the way, in places such as Yemen and sub-Saharan Africa, it's not rare for a 12 year old girl to be a mother. It's disgusting.


"If a nation expects to be ignorant and free, in a state of civilization, it expects what never was and never will be".

"Knowledge will forever govern ignorance; and a people who mean to be their own governors must arm themselves with the power which knowledge gives".
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Default 06-19-2010, 03:40 AM

Legitimized rape.. legalized slavery.. sanctified physical and emotional abuse.



Daa zma lewanay Zrra gorah, daa sta lewanee Mina..
Za ba da Sahra warnakam da Iran pa Golestan,
Dalta za yao & yakta yam, halta zar zma pa Shaan
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Default 06-19-2010, 03:49 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BLS_1919v2.0 View Post
Luffy that is not badal but swara.
Yes you are right, it is swarra and wani ,while badal means exchange of girls for marraige between two families usually to settle enemity.
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Default 06-19-2010, 10:51 AM

The truth is that whilst cultures change both at the local level and through education and migration, early marriage has happened in many families. It's not something that I can honestly say is not part of our ancestry. Without those things happening, many of us - me included, would not be here.

A couple of years ago, I read a report by AfghanAid (a charity that I have supported for several years) that was written based on information gathered during the war years of Aghanistan. Life-expectancy of women was about 44, during which time the average female would have been married, had children and her children would have had children too. And this all in abject poverty. It's not really about the luxury of choice and early marriage begins to make sense therefore in a culture like that.



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Thumbs down 06-20-2010, 01:34 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mayana View Post
Legitimized rape.. legalized slavery.. sanctified physical and emotional abuse.
not to forget legalised PEDOPHILIA
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