I am not sure about pashtoon women calling their men "maalik" for i have never heard it. but yes pashtoon women do refer to their men as "khaawand" which is another way of saying "owner"... and/or superior person. this word is also used by others when they refer to a pashtoon woman's husband... for example "khaawand de tsanga dai"... how is your husband

most pashtoon women do feel extremely inferior to their husbands, mostly due to how they are raised and how they are treated in the home... also because of lack of education and/or lack of financial stability.

Thanks, both of you for the helpful input.
I wonder if maybe it would be possible to do an informal survey of 10 or maybe more
Pashtun women of differing strata of education, etc: does each one actually CALL her husband khaawand or owner in some form?
Or more, she may REGARD him like that but not speak using a term like this - either khaawand or even malik - what is the difference between the two?

I appreciate Qrratugai's reaction about the description of what he wrote as paratas -
I'm so glad because I want to show that he doesn't know what he's talking about - politely but nonetheless if he doesn't know THESE simple things about Pashtun ways, how can he be analyzing a bigger picture correctly was my original feeling when I read the book.

Qrratugai, what type of oil do you use? I like oiled bread too.

Oh!
I didn't realize that.
Actually I was wondering whether there are Internet Cafes there where people could write from, but that makes sense if most are from US and Europe - mainly UK, I suppose?
Maybe Qrratugai could ask around in her Swat area?
If no way to really ascertain, no problem, but it would be more authoritative sounding, I figure.

THAT'S EXACTLY my reading of it too, from the outside of course, so it's great to hear you say that.

I get mad when I feel, as I did here, that Westerners deliberately play up such language ambiguities in order to make Pashtuns look bad to the American audience.

Everywhere in fact I have traveled in Islamic countries, women are so impressive in their abilities and characters.
I am trying to gather more evidence to show that especially Afghan women can hold their own!
Also to define exactly how women are honored. I KNOW they are, but to try to explain this to un-open minded Western readers or even just to friends talking in ordinary conversation. Because of reading the media, they refuse to change their approach without more solid back up evidence.

Someone here ?
Goodness, I must have missed the thread about that.
I was reading back through and found this post only now, sorry I didn't reply

Some Pashtun women specially that in eastern Afghanistan and Pashtunkhwa refer to their husbands as "Khawend" which means owner but have never heard the term Malak or Malik.

Millatpal Noorzai:
Oh great, I'm so glad you never heard of Malik. I just cant stand the condescending manner in which the journalist/self-styled 'expert' reported this and other supposed facts about the Pashtun life. I think he mixed it up with the title.

So, you guys, Khawend is a term that the wife uses when speaking directly to her husband, like an endearment? Would she say that in a teasing way to him, it sounds like?

Or she would say "My Khawend" when chatting to a friend about her spouse?

Jasmine, absolutely, yes, almost unimaginable that the person would have done that - I am afraid to even look up the program on google!

khawand doesn't only mean owner. it also means protector.

Defender: great, even more precise than protector. Thanks, both of you -
This is really valuable for me.

But the wife uses the term when calling to him: "Khawend! Breakfast is ready"
Or, if let's say someone is asking her where is her husband today, she says to the outsider, "My khawend has gone to bazaar"

She would use it at times when speaking to someone else about him. I have never in my life witnessed a Pashtana telling her husband "khawanda breakfast is ready" she would have an adorable nick name for him instead.