World's Largest Online Pashtun Community

Go Back   "Pull out your swords and slay anyone that says Pashtun and Afghan are not one! Arabs know this and so do Romans: Afghans are Pashtuns, Pashtuns are Afghans!" -Khushal Khattak > >
Reload this Page Why is divorce such a huge stigma in our culture?
User Tag List

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Dukemina's Avatar
Dukemina Dukemina is offline
PF knowledgeable
Dukemina is on a distinguished road
 
Posts: 633
Thanks: 146
Thanked 96 Times in 68 Posts
My Mood: Cheerful
Mentioned: 15 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Join Date: Mar 2010
Default Why is divorce such a huge stigma in our culture? - 11-30-2015, 07:24 PM

Salaam folks!!! Hope all well

Recently, an uncle of mine went through a divorce and I must say it was nasty to say the least. It's hard to believe that in this day and age humans still tend to act like animals when it comes to divorce. I have a couple friends, who are pashtun afghans btw, who've been through divorce and found it tough to handle but some have actually moved on to getting remarried or just move on with their lives in general.

Share some thoughts on the subject



I desire that which is Just - House of Dukemina.
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Shamlawar Khurasani's Avatar
Shamlawar Khurasani Shamlawar Khurasani is offline
PF senior
Shamlawar Khurasani is an unknown quantity at this point
 
Posts: 4,869
Thanks: 336
Thanked 828 Times in 654 Posts
Mentioned: 41 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Darul Kufr
Default 11-30-2015, 07:52 PM

Its due to our cultural ties with hindus. In hinduism there is no divorce. Thats why Afghans are against divorce.

People should avoid divorce. But if people can't make a relationship work, they should look for someone else. But the children should be taken good care of. People shouldn't sacrifice future of their children.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Shamlawar Khurasani For This Useful Post:
ANAcommander (01-18-2016)
(#3)
Old
Sarbani Sarbani is offline
PF knowledgeable
Sarbani is on a distinguished road
 
Posts: 400
Thanks: 190
Thanked 114 Times in 90 Posts
Mentioned: 24 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Join Date: Mar 2014
Default 12-07-2015, 10:21 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shamlawar Khurasani View Post
Its due to our cultural ties with hindus. In hinduism there is no divorce. Thats why Afghans are against divorce.

People should avoid divorce. But if people can't make a relationship work, they should look for someone else. But the children should be taken good care of. People shouldn't sacrifice future of their children.
I don't think divorce is socially acceptable in the Middle East either.
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Kushan Prince's Avatar
Kushan Prince Kushan Prince is offline
PF senior
Kushan Prince is an unknown quantity at this point
 
Posts: 4,562
Thanks: 790
Thanked 1,019 Times in 842 Posts
Mentioned: 146 Post(s)
Tagged: 1 Thread(s)
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: The Netherrealm
Default 01-18-2016, 04:30 PM

Divorce is a taboo in every islamic nation. Even some Asian cultures as well.


"Revenge is a dish best served cold".

-Old Pashtun proverb




"My Pashtun Pride i will not hide!"
Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
ANAcommander ANAcommander is offline
BANNED
ANAcommander is on a distinguished road
 
Posts: 156
Thanks: 21
Thanked 12 Times in 11 Posts
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Join Date: Oct 2015
Default 01-18-2016, 04:53 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shamlawar Khurasani View Post
Its due to our cultural ties with hindus. In hinduism there is no divorce. Thats why Afghans are against divorce.

People should avoid divorce. But if people can't make a relationship work, they should look for someone else. But the children should be taken good care of. People shouldn't sacrifice future of their children.
You are 100% correct. That's why most Muslims all over Middle East, Central Asia, and Southeast Asia, do not follow their religion correctly. They prefer to stick to their culture for certain things such as divorce.

In Islam, every married couple has the right to divorce, but reconciling the married couple's relationship is important before taking the final step, which is divorce.
Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
khushal's Avatar
khushal khushal is offline
PF senior
khushal is on a distinguished road
 
Posts: 8,858
Thanks: 1,760
Thanked 2,707 Times in 2,017 Posts
Mentioned: 93 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Join Date: Aug 2010
Default 01-21-2016, 12:09 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ANAcommander View Post
You are 100% correct. That's why most Muslims all over Middle East, Central Asia, and Southeast Asia, do not follow their religion correctly. They prefer to stick to their culture for certain things such as divorce.

In Islam, every married couple has the right to divorce, but reconciling the married couple's relationship is important before taking the final step, which is divorce.
There is no basis to blame hinduism for this. That is just desperate.

Historically, divorce has always been a stigma. In the US, divorce was a stigma just a few decades ago and still is in some conservative, especially catholic, families. In fact the legalization of divorce in most countries are recent. Divorce has always been considered shameful by most of humanity because of the mate guarding effect.

Last edited by khushal; 01-21-2016 at 12:27 AM.
Reply With Quote
(#7)
Old
DaZahroJaam.'s Avatar
DaZahroJaam. DaZahroJaam. is offline
PF senior
DaZahroJaam. is on a distinguished road
 
Posts: 4,611
Thanks: 3
Thanked 733 Times in 613 Posts
My Mood: Cold
Mentioned: 18 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Alberta, Canada.
Default 01-21-2016, 11:23 AM

I think instead of normalizing divorce, our society needs to educate it's people on valuing each spouse's role in a marriage. Arabs divorce each other and get remarried over and over through out their lives and that is not fixing the problem for anyone. A divorced couple with 10 kids, this level of poverty and lack of education is not going to help anyone with anything in Afghanistan.

At the same time, what level of frustration or resentment does one have to reach in order to want to mutilate the mother of their child. Surely that can't be a fun task.



"To burn always with this hard gemlike flame, to maintain this ecstasy, is success in life."





Reply With Quote
(#8)
Old
khushal's Avatar
khushal khushal is offline
PF senior
khushal is on a distinguished road
 
Posts: 8,858
Thanks: 1,760
Thanked 2,707 Times in 2,017 Posts
Mentioned: 93 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Join Date: Aug 2010
Default 01-21-2016, 03:16 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by DaZahroJaam. View Post
I think instead of normalizing divorce, our society needs to educate it's people on valuing each spouse's role in a marriage. Arabs divorce each other and get remarried over and over through out their lives and that is not fixing the problem for anyone. A divorced couple with 10 kids, this level of poverty and lack of education is not going to help anyone with anything in Afghanistan.

At the same time, what level of frustration or resentment does one have to reach in order to want to mutilate the mother of their child. Surely that can't be a fun task.
So now you are advocating an Islamic marriage.
Reply With Quote
(#9)
Old
Shapur's Avatar
Shapur Shapur is offline
Super Moderator
Shapur is on a distinguished road
 
Posts: 937
Thanks: 106
Thanked 308 Times in 238 Posts
My Mood: Psychedelic
Mentioned: 64 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Join Date: Jul 2014
Default 01-21-2016, 04:14 PM

One of the reason might be the amount of money spent on weddings, most people can't afford a second wedding LOL
Reply With Quote
(#10)
Old
hiraaa112 hiraaa112 is offline
PF Frequent visitor
hiraaa112 is on a distinguished road
 
Posts: 45
Thanks: 6
Thanked 7 Times in 6 Posts
My Mood: Amused
Mentioned: 3 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Join Date: Sep 2013
Default 01-24-2016, 08:52 AM

I think there would be a few factors.

If it's the girl that has been divorced, I imagine a lot of men from our culture would consider her less "pure".

Also I think the stigma attached to divorce is related to if you have kids or not. If you have kids, it's not just seen as a breaking up of a couple, but the breaking up of a family or also could be seen as being selfish and not sticking through the hard times for the sake of the kids (however I personally believe it's better to raise kids apart than in an environment where the parents have a toxic relationship).

Also, to other people divorce may look like a kind of red flag, it practically proves this person has failed at a past relationship and a potential suitor may wonder if it's a personality trait that will carry on and affect new relationships.

The last reason I can think of right now would be that many people have been through quite some difficult times in their relationships I.e domestic violence, lack of money, interfering in-laws and have managed to stick it out and make the best of the situation. When people get divorced, it gives the impression of "maybe they didn't try hard enough" "took the easy way out" etc!
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
culture, divorce, huge, stigma

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off




History of Pashtuns| Learn Pashto Online| Afghan Wiki| TheHujra.com| Pukhtoogle| Afghan MP3| Khyber.org| Pukhto.net| Tor_Khan's blog| Abdul Rahman Karim's blog| Voices of the Pashtun land| Pashto TV

Search Engine Optimisation provided by DragonByte SEO (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2017 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
User Alert System provided by Advanced User Tagging v3.0.6 (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2017 DragonByte Technologies Ltd. Runs best on HiVelocity Hosting.
No part of this site may be copied without permission of the administration. The views, posts, opinions and threads expressed by members of the community here are not necessarily those of the staff and management of Pashtun Forums.