Obviously, I am immitating forum member's behaviour.

Faye's got the hots for you Hakim, damn ....what a hussy, first she was trying to seduce me now she's after you

For sure it is not Bannutsei
Seriously - I don't know. To me it looks like mix of Dari Kabuli, Pashto and Urdu.

My guesses:

Wakhi/pamiri or
Hazaragi

Its Wakhi. How did you know?

Its Wakhi, it does sound like a mix of them.

Elementary my dear urgunai Jan, matter of simple deduction.

Persian words mostly, very few Pashto words, not regular Dari, Farsi or Pashto, there fore a dialect. Choices eliminated to wakhi and hazaragi.

But still, Wakhi out of all Persian-like languages.
How do you know what Wakhi is? Not many know.

Why not, Wakhi is at leat a known language, even You can find litreture on it.

I wouldn't be able to identify it , but to mi it soundet to like one of the Pamirian languages. Only the translation misses. I think here in the forum we have only a Shughni speaker.

"Boyaka Sha! I is read, and therefore I knows a bit of deez languages, da roots, . . . . aye"

Rest is deduction. Languages similar to Farsi to incorporate the vocabulary you provided in the sample text: Dari(to extent tajiki), hazaragi, and of wakhi.