View Full Version : ~ You know you're Qandaharai when...


Mayana
07-21-2010, 01:04 AM
You go on a picnic with your family and put the food on the tables and you yourselves sit on the grass.

Your parents try to hook you up with your 4th cousin they have never seen before "kho khpalwaan di".

You freeze any kind of edible product.. From meatballs, over banjan, over Ashak, over bread, over chocolate to dried and regular fruit, bia yaw wakht pa kaarijhi!

You collect all free items you can get, pens, notebooks, fliers in Spanish and Chinese.. Anything - bia yaw wakht pa kaarijhi!

When your mom sews, she doesn't throw away any of the left over fabric - bia yaw yakht pa kaarijhi!

Your parents want to call you, they will call the name of each and everyone in your extended family, before they reach yours

You spend hundreds of dollars for a nice 'da dodai mez' and you only use it once a month when you have guests over and you need a place to put the food on - so you can get it from there and eat on the ground.

It's ok that all of your arms are showing but your shoulders must be covered, hence is why you're wearing a t-shirt under that Dolce and Gabbana gown for your cousin's wedding

Your Kofta is doing the Aubaazi in oil

Lashkargaah and Arghandaab were the places your parents went for their Melas

You wear long sleeve shirts and long pants and are ridiculously fussy about being in the shade in the summer so you don't get a tan and can stay "sha speen/sha speena"

A woman is only considered feminine if she has absolutely no hair growing on any part of her body .. and at the same time manages to have THINK eyebrows, eyelashes and abnormally thick, long and curly hair. Her worth is sometimes measured by the thickness of her Chotay; you have failed in life as a girl if your Chotay becomes thinner as you grow, ("Pa Kochinwaali di doghonda Chotay wuh, chi pa dwo Laso na niwal keday!")

At any given time, two or more men are likely to discuss Kandahar, Karzai's family and in-laws, Mullah Omar and the current Wali of Kandahar and his hobbies (such as Sagwaani)

Politicians get nicknames based upon their reputation and hobbies, such as 'Sagwaan'

EVERYONE.. And I repeat EVERYONE can be referred to and should be effered to as "Zoya" (if they're your age and younger and if you're a guy)

The level of you masculinity is determined by the length, the frequency and the magnitude of your usage of the expression "ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAYY"

You shelf-life as marriage material expires as soon as you hit 25 as a girl - or get a tan and are not "sra au speena" anymore

You parents know every single person that has ever lived in Qandahar, lives in Qandahar, will ever live in Qandahar or are related to anyone who falls into any of those three categories; yet, they fail to remember your name when they're calling you.

When women get bored, they sit together and talk about people who lived in Qandahar some 25-50 years ago and discuss their lives in such depth that by now you are convinced that they want to write a book called "The Biographies of The Most Influential Qandaharian"

No matter the occasion, if you dance as a girl, you're labeled Rakhseenda and your social life as an Qandahari and shelf life as marriage material is over.

You curse at everyone in Pashto. No matter if you love the or hate them, are related to them by blood or don’t even know them.

Your parents are trying to curse at you but end up insulting themselves ( Da Khrra Zo, da spee zo, Da Haywaan zaata, Da Washi Zaata, haramooney, Haramzada, Padarnalat, Madarnalat, you name it.)

Every man in your family, from your two-year old brother to your great-grandfather hates Indian movies and everything associated with India, Pakistan, Bollywood, Lollywood, Urdu and Hindi.

Every male person is [Plankay] Kaakaa

Every female person is [Bestanay] Khala

Your mom simply refers to your father as "day", or "Plaar mu", or "Da Halakoo Plaar"

You father simply refers to your mom as "daa" or "Mor mu" or "Da Halakoo Mor"

Your supply of dried food never ends.

You're considered too Americanized if you wear sunglasses

When you fight at a Melmastia over washing the dishes with 12 other women who have squished into the kitchen, you're main argument is "Taa kho nadi zda, ta ye sam naseh prewlalay"

You feel defeated when you don't win the fight over the dishes even though your mom has to throw shoes at you to get you to wash dishes at home.

You can determine how far away the person is that your parents are talking to on the phone based on how loudly they're screaming into the phone

- If you're a guy - your mother saves dinner for you even though you come home at 2 am and told your mom some 14 times that you're eating out

- If you're a girl - Your mother calls you badharwa for wanting to eat your share of dinner because if you eat, there won't be any food left for your brother to eat when he comes home from eating out with the guys at 2 am.

You've had various objects thrown at you for banal reasons: Bot, Chaplakee, Pataateh, Kotbandoona, Piyaaz etc.

When Pashto spoken outside the boundries of Qandahaar is not considered "real Pashto, and people speaking it are referred to as 'Mongawaal' or 'Oogarry' (No harsh feelings, I love you guys ♥)

When your mom thinks she has a terminal illness if you tell her you want to marry a non-Qandaharai and threatens you saying that she'll commit suicide if you do.

When you are a momma's boy even at 30.

When you think Kandahar is the real capital of Afghanistan.

When you secretly have a place in your heart for the Taliban.

Believe it's your God given right to rule Afghanistan.

Live and die to pick a fight with just anyone, be it your brother.

Your Lungi's Shamla brooms the floor when you walk.

There is at least one woman in your family who wears the fanciest suits from Macy's with a die-hard-Kotana made in Herat Bazaar, Qandahar.

When you don't kiss men on the cheek when you greet them (as a girl AND a boy :D )

When you have tasted the best anaar and best apples ever

You see men get into a wrestle at Afghan functions when it's time to eat and pray. This isn't done out of spite, it's just them being hospitable. To give you a better illustration of what I'm talking about: "Ta dar makha sa" [puts arm on the others back and pushes him] "Ya'ah ta der zaa" [grabs him by the arm, pulling him along] "Kho, ta de yowari Dodai wakha" [gets into a headlock] "Wallah ke wakham!" [gets into a semi-tackle] "ya'ah, wallah ka ye bal shay ke!".. "kho ma Qassam wakhestey!!" [and the fight is on]

http://img297.imageshack.us/img297/1944/209897232a509fc7a1eho0.jpg




(By Shlombay, I made a few additions here and there.. =) )

AnGaaR
07-21-2010, 01:28 AM
U know he is qandarai when he is walking in the street holding his Sadar (men scarf) by his teeth :P

amna.
07-21-2010, 11:24 AM
'we speal real pashto'

funny and interesting list Mayana thank you and manana.

Nora
07-21-2010, 11:32 AM
i have never see any kandahari in europe that who wear scarf or act like pashtuns i dont know, mostly they perfer to speak farsi then pashtoo, and they dont get along with other pashtuns unfortunately
i hope kandahari guys dont mind it

Nora
07-21-2010, 11:34 AM
When you don't kiss men on the cheek when you greet them (as a girl AND a boy :D )

what do u mean lolz do u have to kiss them? what about if they r namahram?

Marwat
07-21-2010, 12:04 PM
I am from Quetta and we speak pashto liike kandaharis do. I relate to this list a lot since I consider to be kandahari too. From quetta.

Feroza_Banu
07-21-2010, 12:43 PM
oh my Goodness... i related to most of this...

my mom freezes every edible thing... we have a never ending supply of ashak and bolani, sra karri tor banjaan and what not...

thanks mayano!

Palwasha
07-21-2010, 12:56 PM
LOL! This is brilliant Mayana, and you know quite a lot of this can be said for most Pashtuns. =)

khyaal
07-21-2010, 02:21 PM
U know he is qandarai when he is walking in the street holding his Sadar (men scarf) by his teeth :P

It is the same here even in my own village near Peshawar. I like it.

Mayana
07-21-2010, 02:54 PM
i have never see any kandahari in europe that who wear scarf or act like pashtuns i dont know, mostly they perfer to speak farsi then pashtoo, and they dont get along with other pashtuns unfortunately
i hope kandahari guys dont mind it

Im not a Qandahari guy, but I do mind Khori lol.
You can't judge all of Qandaharian based upon the few you have met. I am from Qandahar and I know.. one single family that speaks Dari rather than Pasto, for whatever reasons.. having spent endless time in Kabul etc... Makhsad it's not true that we prefer to be with nonPashtuns, you've just been hanging around the wrong people then. If that were true, there wouldn't be countless Qandaharian on here ;)

When you don't kiss men on the cheek when you greet them (as a girl AND a boy :D )

what do u mean lolz do u have to kiss them? what about if they r namahram?

LOL it specifically says 'when you do NOT kiss men on the cheek'. You don't have to kiss them lol it's just that it is a tradition among some people that men kiss one another on the cheeks while greeting.. or that men and women kiss one another on the cheeks while greeting. That bullet points out that wedont do that for reasons you have mentioned. =)

Amir al Ghaznavi
07-21-2010, 08:56 PM
you know ure qandaray when you only hang out with other qandarays

when you say "bala" in every sentence






im very tempted to make a reference to qandahars best known habit


and it aint naswar


:angel1:

Amir al Ghaznavi
07-21-2010, 09:08 PM
out of respect i wont say it

but lets just the doves fly over the city with one wing for a reason

Mayana
07-21-2010, 09:30 PM
LOL Kaghazbadoona yaadayeh?

Millatpal Noorzai
07-21-2010, 09:59 PM
out of respect i wont say it

but lets just the doves fly over the city with one wing for a reason

Seems like you have had a personal experience of this misery :)

afghan
07-22-2010, 02:27 AM
-you are kandhari when you start working somewhere and next couple of year you own it.

Nora
07-22-2010, 02:25 PM
[QUOTE=Mayana;91230] Im not a Qandahari guy, but I do mind Khori lol.
You can't judge all of Qandaharian based upon the few you have met. I am from Qandahar and I know.. one single family that speaks Dari rather than Pasto, for whatever reasons.. having spent endless time in Kabul etc... Makhsad it's not true that we prefer to be with nonPashtuns, you've just been hanging around the wrong people then. If that were true, there wouldn't be countless Qandaharian on here ;)



mayana right i might have seen fake ones :wub: i know about 10 family and in these 10 just one family is a bit different however u r right u cant judge based upon some, when in one family bros and sis are different from each other, but u have proved it that u r real kandahari i love ur answer.
im sorry man

Nora
07-22-2010, 02:27 PM
btw being an afghan pashtoon we dont need the lists, we dont follow llists and rules lol

Mayana
07-22-2010, 02:41 PM
These aren't rules lol it's all games and jokes, I'm not out here to set up a list of rule you have to follow in order to be Qandahari haha

Sheenka
07-22-2010, 08:38 PM
are they all kandaharies?

Mayana
07-22-2010, 09:08 PM
don't be sorry Naatki, Mayana is our eldest sister of Pashtunforums she is teaching us all. We are all here to learn.


Makawaaaa :shy:

You know your Kandahari when your pretty.

Yes Mayana,Nazia,Feroza,Rihana,Iqra are allpretty :)

I agree with the god given right to rule Afghanistan many of Pashtun rulers were from Kandahar.

Ta ham Qandahari ra maloomejheh :tongue:

Catya Sher
07-23-2010, 05:01 PM
I think Qandahar looks more elegant than Kandahar, too.
Just putting that in.

Why do people freeze every type of food?
Seems like a good idea in the heat to make things last longer.
But what types of food DO they put in the freezer, and is the heat the reason?

Admin Khan
07-23-2010, 05:03 PM
I think Qandahar looks more elegant than Kandahar, too.
Just putting that in.

Why do people freeze every type of food?
Seems like a good idea in the heat to make things last longer.
But what types of food DO they put in the freezer, and is the heat the reason?
It might look elegant but "officially" its incorrect.

Everything that is left-over ends up in the freezer.

khyaal
07-23-2010, 07:52 PM
out of respect i wont say it

but lets just the doves fly over the city with one wing for a reason

marra daa di sa da punjapiano aw hindkiano khabara okra.

parsiwaan
07-24-2010, 01:50 PM
You know your a Kako when you see a handsome boy your mouth gets open and you smile. hahah lol

You know your a Kako...when you see a Paneer(CHezz) you say akh somra Naar aw Spenai dah lakaa ... ahahhaa lol

You go on a picnic with your family and put the food on the tables and you yourselves sit on the grass.

Your parents try to hook you up with your 4th cousin they have never seen before "kho khpalwaan di".

You freeze any kind of edible product.. From meatballs, over banjan, over Ashak, over bread, over chocolate to dried and regular fruit, bia yaw wakht pa kaarijhi!

You collect all free items you can get, pens, notebooks, fliers in Spanish and Chinese.. Anything - bia yaw wakht pa kaarijhi!

When your mom sews, she doesn't throw away any of the left over fabric - bia yaw yakht pa kaarijhi!

Your parents want to call you, they will call the name of each and everyone in your extended family, before they reach yours

You spend hundreds of dollars for a nice 'da dodai mez' and you only use it once a month when you have guests over and you need a place to put the food on - so you can get it from there and eat on the ground.

It's ok that all of your arms are showing but your shoulders must be covered, hence is why you're wearing a t-shirt under that Dolce and Gabbana gown for your cousin's wedding

Your Kofta is doing the Aubaazi in oil

Lashkargaah and Arghandaab were the places your parents went for their Melas

You wear long sleeve shirts and long pants and are ridiculously fussy about being in the shade in the summer so you don't get a tan and can stay "sha speen/sha speena"

A woman is only considered feminine if she has absolutely no hair growing on any part of her body .. and at the same time manages to have THINK eyebrows, eyelashes and abnormally thick, long and curly hair. Her worth is sometimes measured by the thickness of her Chotay; you have failed in life as a girl if your Chotay becomes thinner as you grow, ("Pa Kochinwaali di doghonda Chotay wuh, chi pa dwo Laso na niwal keday!")

At any given time, two or more men are likely to discuss Kandahar, Karzai's family and in-laws, Mullah Omar and the current Wali of Kandahar and his hobbies (such as Sagwaani)

Politicians get nicknames based upon their reputation and hobbies, such as 'Sagwaan'

EVERYONE.. And I repeat EVERYONE can be referred to and should be effered to as "Zoya" (if they're your age and younger and if you're a guy)

The level of you masculinity is determined by the length, the frequency and the magnitude of your usage of the expression "ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAYY"

You shelf-life as marriage material expires as soon as you hit 25 as a girl - or get a tan and are not "sra au speena" anymore

You parents know every single person that has ever lived in Qandahar, lives in Qandahar, will ever live in Qandahar or are related to anyone who falls into any of those three categories; yet, they fail to remember your name when they're calling you.

When women get bored, they sit together and talk about people who lived in Qandahar some 25-50 years ago and discuss their lives in such depth that by now you are convinced that they want to write a book called "The Biographies of The Most Influential Qandaharian"

No matter the occasion, if you dance as a girl, you're labeled Rakhseenda and your social life as an Qandahari and shelf life as marriage material is over.

You curse at everyone in Pashto. No matter if you love the or hate them, are related to them by blood or donít even know them.

Your parents are trying to curse at you but end up insulting themselves ( Da Khrra Zo, da spee zo, Da Haywaan zaata, Da Washi Zaata, haramooney, Haramzada, Padarnalat, Madarnalat, you name it.)

Every man in your family, from your two-year old brother to your great-grandfather hates Indian movies and everything associated with India, Pakistan, Bollywood, Lollywood, Urdu and Hindi.

Every male person is [Plankay] Kaakaa

Every female person is [Bestanay] Khala

Your mom simply refers to your father as "day", or "Plaar mu", or "Da Halakoo Plaar"

You father simply refers to your mom as "daa" or "Mor mu" or "Da Halakoo Mor"

Your supply of dried food never ends.

You're considered too Americanized if you wear sunglasses

When you fight at a Melmastia over washing the dishes with 12 other women who have squished into the kitchen, you're main argument is "Taa kho nadi zda, ta ye sam naseh prewlalay"

You feel defeated when you don't win the fight over the dishes even though your mom has to throw shoes at you to get you to wash dishes at home.

You can determine how far away the person is that your parents are talking to on the phone based on how loudly they're screaming into the phone

- If you're a guy - your mother saves dinner for you even though you come home at 2 am and told your mom some 14 times that you're eating out

- If you're a girl - Your mother calls you badharwa for wanting to eat your share of dinner because if you eat, there won't be any food left for your brother to eat when he comes home from eating out with the guys at 2 am.

You've had various objects thrown at you for banal reasons: Bot, Chaplakee, Pataateh, Kotbandoona, Piyaaz etc.

When Pashto spoken outside the boundries of Qandahaar is not considered "real Pashto, and people speaking it are referred to as 'Mongawaal' or 'Oogarry' (No harsh feelings, I love you guys ♥)

When your mom thinks she has a terminal illness if you tell her you want to marry a non-Qandaharai and threatens you saying that she'll commit suicide if you do.

When you are a momma's boy even at 30.

When you think Kandahar is the real capital of Afghanistan.

When you secretly have a place in your heart for the Taliban.

Believe it's your God given right to rule Afghanistan.

Live and die to pick a fight with just anyone, be it your brother.

Your Lungi's Shamla brooms the floor when you walk.

There is at least one woman in your family who wears the fanciest suits from Macy's with a die-hard-Kotana made in Herat Bazaar, Qandahar.

When you don't kiss men on the cheek when you greet them (as a girl AND a boy :D )

When you have tasted the best anaar and best apples ever

You see men get into a wrestle at Afghan functions when it's time to eat and pray. This isn't done out of spite, it's just them being hospitable. To give you a better illustration of what I'm talking about: "Ta dar makha sa" [puts arm on the others back and pushes him] "Ya'ah ta der zaa" [grabs him by the arm, pulling him along] "Kho, ta de yowari Dodai wakha" [gets into a headlock] "Wallah ke wakham!" [gets into a semi-tackle] "ya'ah, wallah ka ye bal shay ke!".. "kho ma Qassam wakhestey!!" [and the fight is on]

http://img297.imageshack.us/img297/1944/209897232a509fc7a1eho0.jpg




(By Shlombay, I made a few additions here and there.. =) )

Admin Khan
07-24-2010, 01:54 PM
Excuse my ignorance, What is a Kako?

Amir al Ghaznavi
07-24-2010, 02:31 PM
marra daa di sa da punjapiano aw hindkiano khabara okra.

lol theres an element of truth


and no, for the record, amir al ghaznavi has never been anyones ashna

was goodlooking enough to be though. thank god i grew up in toronto

:p

khyaal
07-26-2010, 05:27 PM
lol theres an element of truth


and no, for the record, amir al ghaznavi has never been anyones ashna

was goodlooking enough to be though. thank god i grew up in toronto

:p

I'm not contesting its validity. What I mean is that punjapian are mostly homophobic and you seem to share that aspect with them, though you live in Toronto hence it shouldn't have been something strange for you. lol

Afghan_Soldier
07-27-2010, 10:06 PM
Excuse my ignorance, What is a Kako?

Kako means zwan, takra, macho, kharaj/charitable and abit of a bad boy or in other words a noble gangster! Since our member name "parsiwan" is generalising and assigning a certain character to Kandahari Kako, then I want to add few more to the list of the same type. He must have had had similar experience personally from a Kako, or have probably heard it from some one in his family, obviously there is generally that aura about Kako in Kabul and his likes. Kakos have historically been famous among ladies too, specially among Parsiwan women and hence the inter-marriages, particularly with Kandaharis in Kabul.:blushes:

Admin Khan
07-27-2010, 10:11 PM
Kako means zwan, takra, macho, kharaj/charitable and abit of a bad boy or in other words a noble gangster! Since our member name "parsiwan" is generalising and assigning a certain character to Kandahari Kako, then I want to add few more to the list of the same type. He must have had had similar experience personally from a Kako, or have probably heard it from some one in his family, obviously there is generally that aura about Kako in Kabul and his likes. Kakos have historically been famous among ladies too, specially among Parsiwan women and hence the inter-marriages, particularly with Kandaharis in Kabul.:blushes:

Wrora, I knew what Kako is. I just wanted him to further elaborate on his thought. We usually preserved the term Kako for someone who was elder and well respected in the community.

Mosh khpala har cha ta Kako na wayala.

Admin Khan
07-27-2010, 10:16 PM
i thought kako was a term only used for 'father"
.

My grandfather(May Allah be pleased with him) was referred to as Kako by my father and nearly everyone out of respect.

I really have no clue in this sudden transformation of the word Kako.

Afghan_Soldier
07-27-2010, 10:24 PM
lol I was talking more in his terms. Parsiwans call almost every Kandahari a Kako. And he knows which ones I was refering to.

Admin Khan
07-27-2010, 10:29 PM
lol I was talking more in his terms. Parsiwans call almost every Kandahari a Kako. And he knows which ones I was refering to.

Oh okay.

Are you still in Kabul? We all expect a little synopsis on what you experienced in Kabul when you return.

Millatpal Noorzai
07-27-2010, 10:47 PM
My grandfather(May Allah be pleased with him) was referred to as Kako by my father and nearly everyone out of respect.

I really have no clue in this sudden transformation of the word Kako.

It does mean "Father" even when Parsobanz use it.They outta respect and inspiration consider Kandaharis their "FATHERS".

Correct me if i am wrong KAKO users!!!!!!

Afghan_Soldier
07-27-2010, 10:53 PM
Since when did you have me under you radar, brother?lol No, I am back. It was fantastic, I enjoyed it very much. I styed mainly in and around Kabul, I did travel to the surrounding provinces, abit to the south, the north and east. It was the fruites season, there were many weddings I attended (you know each wedding last a good week). It was peacful and the security overall was very good, touch wood.

Admin Khan
07-31-2010, 09:07 PM
It does mean "Father" even when Parsobanz use it.They outta respect and inspiration consider Kandaharis their "FATHERS".

Correct me if i am wrong KAKO users!!!!!!
I knew it.

You know you are Kandahari when you love rhyming in your sentences like :

"mrasta wrasta prezhda"'
"kaar maar jhey sam dey?"

Tamara
07-31-2010, 09:34 PM
Haha that's so true, my mom is doing it all the time.

Admin Khan
07-31-2010, 09:41 PM
Haha that's so true, my mom is doing it all the time.
You are Kandahari as well?

Tamara
07-31-2010, 09:45 PM
Dara serious poshtana da, ka maskharay kaway Admin Khana

Admin Khan
07-31-2010, 09:48 PM
Weley maskharay kawama? Zma num kho ba Joker Khan na ye?

Tamara
07-31-2010, 09:54 PM
Joker Khana sa Kandahri yama

Mayana
07-31-2010, 11:43 PM
Ajaba mu Saat ter day, staaso dwo ham :tongue:

Mayana
07-31-2010, 11:56 PM
Yes :wub:

How about you?

Mayana
08-01-2010, 12:11 AM
:dancing:

Mayana
08-01-2010, 12:31 AM
You know you're Qandahari if you're as stubborn as I am ..

Feroza_Banu
08-02-2010, 04:14 PM
you know you are kandahari when you are playing cards with bunch of other kandaharis and it turns into a civil war!

Feroza_Banu
08-02-2010, 06:11 PM
^yes sir!...

i tend to get carried away too... i fight during playing cards... then i feel embarassed about it later haha... i guess one can't help being kandahari.

Feroza_Banu
08-02-2010, 06:36 PM
^loll... wo... half though... mor me kandahari da... plaar me wardag

Feroza_Banu
08-02-2010, 06:59 PM
^yes :)

Dukhtar-e-Kabul
08-02-2010, 07:22 PM
Feroxa how much of this list is true?

Feroza_Banu
08-02-2010, 07:27 PM
^i can relate to it about 90 percent...

thats how accurate it is :)

Dukhtar-e-Kabul
08-02-2010, 07:39 PM
My husband is also a bit Kandahari lol. :)

Feroza_Banu
08-02-2010, 07:50 PM
^lol what do you mean by "a bit"

ijaz yousafzai
08-06-2010, 02:16 PM
A witty portrayal of a Kandaharai in amusing phrase, i really enjoyed.

Admin Khan
08-13-2010, 08:27 PM
You know you are from the "saaara" of Kandahar when you constantly use the term "Zoymarra". "Dilta rasa zoymarra".

I never understood why. They have even influenced Quettawals.

Mayana
08-14-2010, 12:08 AM
You know you're Qandahari..
.. when you constantly say 'Waneesa' before telling someone to do something and never imply 'hold it'..
.. when every sentence, every main clause, every subordinate clause begins with "baalaa": Bala Kor ta raghlam, bala mi Botoona wakshala, bala prewatalam. Da TelePoon Zang suh, bala rakshenastalam, bala mi da Sher Agha sara sha gatta majlas wakay."

Mayana
08-14-2010, 12:24 AM
^ LOL SOO true .. I am guilty as charged :runaorund:

But yeah, you know you're Qandahari if you're even half as stubborn as me :running:

شمله ور خراساني
08-14-2010, 12:28 AM
I love when qandarian say "ya'a"