View Full Version : The right approach to the solution of the problems of Pashtuns


Badlun
07-08-2010, 11:34 PM
The right approach to the solution of the problems of Pashtuns.

This article will enable me to explain what I think and feel about Pashtuns and their problems. I shall try my level best to write in a way that the reader may understand me because if the reader doesn’t understand me then it’s my problem not the reader’s as I should blame myself not others for a problem related to me. I should use ways and means to make others understand not others should have extra efforts to understand me. If they can’t make out of what I write then I should explain in a better way. Teacher is responsible not student for bad learning. I shall try to be concise, precise and comprehensive; if still I am not clear then Ieaders.

I am of the bent of mind that fault lies with me not with others. This is my approach, ideology, idiosyncrasy or what ever you call it. I use this approach in problems solution, management and conflict resolution. When there is a problem, a conflict, a management issue, an imbroglio, mess, can of worms, my focus is on the effected, on the one who suffers not on the cause or the agent of causing the problem. This approach is based on my lateral thinking, creative and innovative ways to tackle issues which may not seem normal, standard way of looking at things.

It’s quite common and easy to blame others than to take the responsibility on ones own shoulders. It’s a common behavior pattern on individual, social and political level to blame others, the easiest way to tackle the issue. Even if it’s obvious that the other is at fault, still I think that I gave him or her opportunity to cause me a problem. I blame the house owner not the thief. Why the thief does not rob others why him or her?

If I am poor then I am responsible for it not the colonial power or my boss or another province or nation. If Pashtuns don't have sovereignty, then they are responsible for it not others. Why they don’t have , because they never asked for it in a pragmatic, democratic , peaceful acceptable manner from the ones who are not giving it to them. If about 200 nations in the world have sovereignty , why not Pashtuns

All people don't think equally, that's why we have wars, problems, conflicts, schools of thoughts, differences , religions ,parties etc. One can oppose to my approach as I oppose to others. Others may blame others for the problems of Pashtuns but I blame Pashtuns not others. This is the way I look at the problem of Pashtuns.

When I don't hold others like Punjabis, ISI, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Tajiks, USA, CIA, etc responsible for the problems of Pashtuns , and some hold them responsible , then its the difference of looking at things from two different prisms. It does not mean that I am doing propaganda for them or I am their agent but I have my own way of looking at things and I am trying to present my case why Pashtuns are responsible for their problems not others. THE SOLUTION IS REFORMATION, RENAISSANCE, AND RECONSTRUCTION NOT BLAMING OTHERS.

My this approach I don't apply only on Pashtuns but this I apply everywhere, on my own self, on my family, on my friends, on Muslims, on Palestinians, on Jews on all from individual to family, to society to country and to the world. My approach is not only for failures or problems but also for successes and achievements.

If USA is the world super power then she deserves it, if tiny Israel is giving tough time to so many Arabs then Israel only be admired for that. If Muslims from Makah and Medina started and conquered almost the whole known world of that time, then must be given the credit. If Khiljis, Lodhis and Suris governed India then these Pashtuns must be appreciated. Its simple reward and punishment game.

Introducing my approach a little bit, now I would like to comment further on what’s happening in Pashtun lands and why I hold Pashtuns responsible for what’s going on. What’s going on Pashtun areas? First problem identification then causes and finally its solution

A SHORT LIST OF THE PROBLEMS AND ISSUES IN PASHTUN AREAS AND SOCIET

Terrorism ,Religious Extremism, Violence ,Insurgency ,Suicide bombings, Abundance of Madrassas and Tablighis, Male chauvinism, Law and order issues, Absence of security , Ignorance, Intolerance towards others, no Democracy , Radicalization of Pashtuns, Obscurantist trends, No Education, Plight of women, the rule of Mullah and Taliban, No commercial and industrial activities, no Scientific and technological development, no Nobel Prizes, no Advancement of knowledge , Literature , natural/social sciences and philosophy, Almost no Inheritance for women, Almost no women Education, Burqa and veil curse ,Low social status of Pashtun specially in non Pashtun areas like Karachi , Emirates etc, tribal system, health issues, family planning, big families, poverty, no official status of Pashto in practice, no good news papers of Pashto , No reading and writing of Pashto language, some bad customs in Pashtunwali and Pashtun way of life , proverbial innocence, tenacity, war like nature , belligerence, stubbornness etc of Pashtuns , no excellent media, smuggling, drug trafficking, agricultural problems, land distribution system , political distribution in two countries and many provinces within Pakistan and Afghanistan and many other social, economic, political, religious, economic and educational issues.

After identifying some of the main problems and issues of Pashtuns and their society, now I shall very briefly talk about the causes of all these problems.

One can imagine easily that problems are always a vicious circle. One problem generates another and the snowball effect magnifies the volume and size of the predicament. For example lack of modern education causes problems like religious extremism, obscurantism, terrorism etc and these problems cause lack of opportunities for imparting and receiving modern education.

Similarly no official status of Pashto language making its writing and reading difficult and scarce but no reading and writing of Pashto by almost 70 millions of Pashtuns make this language deprived of any official status. Some bad customs in Pashtun society, tribalism, and stubbornness of Pashtuns make them ignorant, uneducated and ignorance and no education make Pashtuns more tribal and stubborn.

Simple conclusion is that one problem become cause of the other and what’s important is breaking this vicious circle on all fronts and making Pashtuns a modern, prosperous, progressive, well educated and developed people.

Now coming to the most important part, how can we solve all these problems and issues?

My solution as always is based on self observation, self critical, self improvement, reformation, education, change, development, renaissance, renovation, reorganization, restructuring, overhaul, and rectification NOT BLAMING OTHERS. Even if Pashtuns are sure that my this very problem is because of Punjabis, USA etc, they should not concentrate on blaming them, but should retrospect their own selves that why Punjabis is doing such and such with us. Why we become prey to their hunting. How can we make ourselves strong enough that they may not dare to harm us?

My this approach is based on some political and philosophical notions like Realism and Pragmatism, on some very simple proverbs like as you sow so shall you reap, on verses of Rahaman Baba like kar da gulo ka che sima de gulzar shi, kar da azcho makrha che pa pkho ke ba de khar shi( if you sow flowers you ll get a garden of flowers, if you sow thorns then you shall get your feet injured) , on some Quranic verses like one cannot change oneself if he or she does not want that, some sayings of the Prophet Muhammad(PBUH) that every one is responsible for his/her own deeds etc.

My approach is internal, intrinsic, within our own selves not targeting others.
USA destroyed parts of Japan in Second World War, instead of blaming USA, Japan concentrated on self improvement even by making USA its friend and now the success of Japan as an economic power is not a secret.

My request to all Pashtuns is to concentrate on their own self improvement instead of wasting energies against their enemies. Something is wrong with us that’s are why others are having opportunities to destroy us and deprive us of our own rights and privileges.

I know the complexity of the problems of Pashtun society and its solution is not easy. It’s like asking for a moon but for thousands years of journey we have to take the first step from the zero. The worst thing is that there is no any such reformation movement in Pashtun areas. The political parties are busy in their day to day politics. NGOs are either not allowed to work in Pashtunland or they concentrate on particular issues like alleviation of poverty etc.

Bacha khan Foundation may be an exception and for the time being the only hope. Other intellectuals are either busy in writing poetry or blaming others for the problems of Pashtuns. I wish we could have a reformist/educational movement for all Pashtun areas in Pakistan and Afghanistan.

The local population must rise against Taliban and should expel them from Pashtunland. This was seen in some parts of Pashtunkhwah as Bajaur and had good consequences.

We can have a two pronged policy, working for peace by expelling Taliban and meanwhile educating and reforming Pashtuns and having legal business and commercial activities.

A detailed research is required on the issue of the tribal system and Pashtuns. For me the only positive aspect of the tribal system is keeping alive the Pashtun identity and some good customs and traditions of Pashtuns other wise its an evil which must be wiped off if a balance can be maintained between preserving Pashtun identity, values and the extirpation if tribal system.

The very non democratic nature of tribal system, the male dominance in tribal affairs specially in jirgas, customs like swara, the role of malaks and khans, honor killings, the system of collective punishment, the absence of any effective judicial or legislative or executive system, the authoritative role of political agents, unpredictability of tribal leadership, loyalty to tribe instead of over all Pashtun cause, internal tribal wars and fights, resistance to modern education and development, tribalism as an obstacle in a national government of Pashtuns are some of the aspects which require urgent reformation and restructuring of tribal system in Pashtun areas in Afghanistan and Pakistan.

I differentiate Pashtun tribalism from other tribal systems as in Europe, Pakistan, and Kurds etc. Pashtun tribal system has its own peculiarities. I agree that Pashtun society in general is egalitarian but the tribal system depends more on maliks and tribal leaders and collective responsibility than on individual fundamental freedom rights. I don't say that political agent in Pakistan is an indispensable or integral part of tribal system. I hate that institution and it must be eradicated as soon as possible. He is a dictator in a system where there is no judiciary, no legislature only a despotic executive.

I know something of the Pashtun social fabric both in villages and cities , both in tribal and settled areas , and what ever I don't know will learn from friends. I feel no hesitation in learning something new. IF I AM TRYING TO REFORM PASHTUN SOCIETY I MUST REFORM FIRST MY OWN SELF.

I don't think that tribal system is based on total equality. In tribal system individual rights are smashed. I have lived part of my life in tribal areas of Pakistan and Afghanistan and I know how an individual survives in tribal society. What matters is the tribe, the society, the malik, sardar, warlords, drug traffickers, the political agent, not an individual Pashtun man or woman. Don't talk of woman. My heart weeps when I see that women have no say in any tribal or social affair of Pashtun society. I love Pashtun tribal system that it makes Pashtunwali alive, but the system can be reformed.


Once again I will stress that I don't deny role of external factors and contextual elements in a reformation process. Our behavior as an individual and as a group or nation is our response to a stimulus and stimulus is any change in environment. Environment may be biological, social, economic, cultural or of any other type. But what I SUGGEST THAT WE MAY NOT BLAME THESE EXTERNAL FACTORS FOR OUR PROBLEMS and we as an individual, group or society may control our external factors too so that we receive positive stimulus not negative. And my reforms are not on individual basis I want a collective effort WITH THE HELP OF FRIENDS AND WANT TO ESTABLISH AN EDUCATIONAL AND DEVELOPMENT ORGANIZATION AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

I agree with the uniqueness of each individual but society and collective goals make the destination one through education for collective benefits. Each individual quality when combined with others becomes a great force and that's why revolutions and national changes occur by reformation movements.

I once again say that for some problems of Pashtuns external factors are responsible but what I contest is that for any disease there must be first an internal immunity system and if not then there must be some prescribed medicines which may be injected in the internal body so that the body can resist all those antigens in case the internal antibodies don't work.

Pashtuns must have an inbuilt defense mechanism or a protection program against any foreign body. If Pashtuns as a people resist effectively then this would be the sign of a living great nation. Pashtuns as a minority in Pakistan and as majority in Afghanistan must protect their interests; no body from out side will come to their help. Outsiders may create problems but will never solve problems. The outsiders can be exploited in problem solution once there exists a real zest and zeal on internal front. USA defends Israel because Israel has made from itself a great nation.

If we see external factors responsible for our problems still we have to resist ourselves, just blaming them won’t solve the problem. I never mean that all causes are internal, what I mean is that the solution lies in our own hands. If we don't take steps to solve those problems then we Pashtuns are to be blamed. Pashtuns can only solve their problems no body else. This is the crux of the theory of Realism.

The vehicle which I talk for the change can be political parties, NGOS, reformation and development organizations. The issues are not intangible as the issues are very real like terrorism, extremism, education, literacy, economy, drugs, Talibanization, role of mullah, tribal system, women rights etc .Do you think all these issues are not concrete, not tangible, not solid all abstract. Otherwise one can tell that these problems are not real and there is no need to do anything for these issues and that we are living in a perfect society and there is no need for further change.


If the analysis presented here is not realistic then the readers may please make it so. I am not here just telling my standpoint. Readers’ contribution will make the analysis deeper and clearer. I think that we have to take into account the entire interplay of the diverse factors in order to understand the problem. Please let’s take into account all these factors and to reach a clear picture of the issue.

I also opine that the historically weak political structures of Pashtun society was unable to effectively respond to the intervention of outsiders’ .This weakness we have to remove. I would like to make it clear that my focus is not only on the present turmoil albeit it is the main part of my discussion; I take start from the Khilji, Lodhi and Suri Pashtun dynasties till Taliban. The Pashtun society, economy, language, culture all are my targets for my reforms package.

I am of the opinion that the uneven topography and hard terrain remained an obstacle in the integration of Pashtuns. This fact even one can see in the various dialects and accents Pashtuns have specially the hard and soft dialects. I am a hard dialect speaker and when I for the first time met a Wazir friend, I was really unable to understand his conversation with me. Many times I thought to request him to talk to me in English, Persian or Urdu but that was against my Pashtunwali. However later on I understood that it was mainly the matter of two letters KHIN/SHIN and GE/JHE and few geo-synonyms like dodai and marhai/tikaley. But now in this modern era we don't have these problems and now media and communication facilities have played an importance role that the absence of geographic proximity may not be an important factor for the non integration of Pashtuns and elimination of tribal system.

The geo -strategic location of Pashtun land can be exploited by Pashtuns to their advantage and can bargain with the foreign powers for getting them benefits. The land locked situation can become a problem that’s why Pashtuns have to maintain good relations with all concerned to reach the warm waters of Arabian sea and may be Iranian coasts.

I am not in favor of the various invasions and colonization in principle but even these invasions and colonization could be utilized for the benefit of Pashtuns. We can always learn from advanced nations as British introduced some very good things like railway lines, education system, Post system, Legal codes etc.

Pashtuns like Sher Shah Suri also colonized India and had introduced great reforms which were even continued by British government in India. Always there can be mutual learning between occupied and occupiers. I don't think Pashtuns were marginalized in Cold war rather the soviet invasion on Afghanistan rekindled Pashtun nationalism and Pashtun consciousness of being Pashtun. As a child I remember when the communists used to talk of Pashto and Pashtuns and books in Pashto surged and I read da Capital of Marx in Pashto later. Now I don’t see that enthusiasm for Pashto books these days. Dr Najeeb like people was a great product of that Pashtun awareness.

Afghan War by CIA/Americans (NOT Russians FOR ME) further added to the political fragmentation and paving the way for extremism. Involvement of Pashtuns with Indian Muslim nationalism is also a valid point but more dangerous was the Deobandi-Wahabi influence on Pashtuns. War on terror also played havoc with Pashtuns.

WHAT HAPPENED THAT HAPPENED? There are good and bad times in the history of nations. Now we should abolish the tribal structure with the preservation of Pashtunwali and should reform Pashtun society in way that Pashtun become a modern developed nation based on the tenets of Pashtunwali.

Some friends blame only Punjabis for all the problems of Pashtuns. I never link my analysis with the Pashtun national character but I put responsibility on Pashtuns to improve their situation. AND SOME TIMES GOOD CHARACTERISTICS OF PASHTUN BEING A UNIQUE RACE and qualities like their sincerity, bravery, hospitality , become problem to them and others exploit them. (On Punjabis and Pashtuns I have written separate articles).

ONE THING I WOULD LIKE TO CLARIFY THAT FOR SOME CURRENT PROBLEMS YOU MAY ACCUSE PANJABIS BUT many problems of Pashtuns come from earlier times, before the division of India in 1947 and many problems after 1979 when USA/CIA AND THE THEN GOVERNMENT OF PAKISTAN WHICH MAY NOT BE ESSENTIALLY PANJABI used Pashtuns against Soviet invasion, THE RISE OF EXTREMISM, WAHABI INFLUENCE ETC. Making only Punjabis responsible for all the problems of Pashtuns is not just.

In this article I have tried to sum up my approach, my ideas, my personality, my dreams, my goals, my philosophy, my ideology, my theories, regarding Pashto and Pashtuns with a humble request to correct me where the readers deem it, to suggest me where they feel, to propose new ideas and solution where they consider. All in positive, impersonal, objective and constructive way for the betterment of Pashtuns and Pashto. We may avoid no ill feelings, no personal attacks, no labeling, and no abuses PLEASE.

I want to see a successful reformation movement in Pashtuns with the tools of realism, pragmatism, education, social changes, cultural adjustment, economic and social development, religious reconstruction, legal modifications. I think that first Pashtuns should be educationally advanced, economically developed then they may jump into politics of unification. Religion should be their personal affairs, Taliban and Mullahs should not decide for them. They may not struggle for changing borders instead they should concentrate on their education, culture, language, economy etc where ever they are , in Afghanistan, Pakistan, Middle east , USA, Canada , Europe.

And above all they should become consciously Pashtuns. Pashtunwali should be their pride and their identity. They should them selves read Pashto and practice Pashtunwali and teach the same to their children, friends and family members.

When I say NO POLITICS then from this I mean no politics of changing borders and talking of ideas like Pashtunistan or Loy Afghanistan etc. These ideas have already wasted much of the time and energy of our intellectuals without any result. I say intellectuals because I don't see any movement for these ideals. Even the political intellectuals and politicians like those of ANP and PMAP have reconciled with Pakistan and I don't see any such movement on the other side of Durand line to struggle for Loy Afghanistan etc.

But I don't suggest that Pashtun should not take part in internal politics where they are citizens. If they are citizens of Pakistan they should fully participate in local politics, the same in Afghanistan and even in Europe etc. If I differentiate Pashtun tribalism from other tribal systems as in Europe, Pakistan, Kurds etc. Pashtun tribal system has its own peculiarities.

I agree that pashtun society in general is egalitarian but the tribal system depends more on maliks and tribal leaders and collective responsibility than on individual fundamental freedom rights. I don't say that political agent is an indispensable or integral part of tribal system. I hate that institution and it must be eradicated as soon as possible. He is a dictator in a system where there is no judiciary , no legislature only a despotic executive.


In Pakistan and Afghanistan Pashtuns should defeat the religious extremists and should struggle for their due rights and status. Along with all this internal politics, they must concentrate on education, culture, economy, language, society, family, environment and other issues.

We should understand the simple self reformation and self improvement. Approach if a student does not want to learn , a teacher cant force things into his/her skull. Fault lies with student not with teacher. Fault lies with Pashtuns not with others. I request the honorable Pashtun intellectuals to think over the ugly reality that why, why we Pashtuns are so vulnerable to the influence of others. Why we are so weak , so susceptible, so easy to be enticed, duped, played with, deceived, why , why ,why. Do you think we Pashtuns are perfect We have no responsibility at all in what’s going on in THE Pashtunland. Its only Punjab, ISI who are doing all this so easily with Pashtuns, lets suppose they do all these evils ,then why we let them do it WITH US ,why.

The solution is inherent strength, making our own walls strong so that the thief does not enter our home. The thief will try to steal, to loot but we should not let him/her to do so, this is very simple. I don’t know why we don’t understand this simple point. For how long we shall waste our energies in blaming others , why not we reform our own selves instead of just blaming others and becoming happy, that accusing Punjab and ISI , my job is done

My solution is change, reformation, education, development, leaving religious extremism, modernism, secularism, democracy, generation of economic activities by competition, hard work and better management not by becoming slaves to others. Being political citizens of a country by ones own sweet will and choice is not slavery as some friends think Pashtuns are slaves of Punjab in Pakistan.

Implementation of any suggestion, solution or idea is a long, difficult but possible. Discussing the issue is 25 % implementation. First you diagnose the problem (25%), then you provide the solution (25 %) and then you solve the problem by taking practical steps (50%). As here the problem is related to the 70 million Pashtuns, its complex but can be solved. Many nations like Jews have gone through worst situation but now you see Jews in Israel as a developed nation.

spogmai shaglay
07-27-2010, 09:04 AM
Very good way of starting the article by blaming yourself if your thoughts are not interpreted correctly…

Coming over to the major issue that you have tried to deal with… the right approach…..Its very easy to blame others and evade from the situation...and very difficult to accept accountability the failure of oneself....hence man has always taken the easier path....not realizing that it’s the difficult path that leads to success and not the easy one....

It takes a lot to be accountable for one’s action…. And the ones who have the courage to take it are leaders and winners….and the other become the followers…. As these follows blame the leader for anything that goes wrong….

"i was thinking one day, how bad the world is..i came to a conclusion that i want to change the world...but i didn’t know how... then i thought of changing my country.... but again i didn’t have the answer to my 'how'.....then i thought definitely i am going to change my city......ok…. i lost hope and now i was sure that i will change my family....what a fool i was to think so.....then i thought let me try to change my self... and i got the answer to the 'how' i was looking for...i tried and tried and changed..... now the my family, my city, my country and the world looks good and beautiful to me...i became the change that i wanted to see in others...." often heard… true to a great extent….as its said “be the change that you want to see in others”…

This approach is the correct approach to which I agree toooo but at the same time cant deny the fact that there is more this which has a some role to play in my failure, small role but significant, something which cant be ignored….


The teacher is at fault if the students not understand well..but this cant be generalized as there are a lot of student which don’t want to understand however simple the teachings of the teacher….which I come across very often…major role of the teacher to make things understand but the teacher can’t be blamed always for not teaching well….just an example that you gave……

The house owner is to blamed for the theft in his/her house and not the thief….agreed…but does this apply in all cases of theft????? If my house was under lock and i take all measures to safeguard it and still in my absence it was broke open then I think I am not to blame for it….

On the whole I too agree to the fact that I need to change in order to see the change in others as the fault lies in me many a times…but not always…

But again I agree that unless I don’t overcome my lacuna, I won’t realize that the reason for my failure could be others… so for me to know if there lies fault with others I need to identify my limitations…. And if inspite of overcoming my limitations the problem continues to exist then I know definitely that the causes for my failure not only lies in me but some others also have a role to play…

Just to sum it up… there are always some extrinsic, external factors which lead to the failure of an individual, an organization, a system or nation as a whole which is again a major issue and can’t be given little or no importance….

It also requires the same attention as much as my internal reformation but yes, it comes in line after my internal reformation…

A friend of mine.. ….a Pakhtun….wanted to get into a customs job ……got himself prepared well….a highly intellectual man, with positive approach that he would get the job and so on… we couldn’t see any reason for him not being selected….all interviews, screenings went well…two people short listed..he and a non-pakhtun (non-muslim)…..guess what????? He didn’t get selected…. The only reason in the end that they came up with was that he had a last name “Khan”… now what can be said…..

Regarding problems of pashtuns specifically I can’t write much as whatever I have learned and am learning, is here from my friends in PF…

i keep talking to my grandmother a lot about Pakhtun and Pakhtunwali and believe she has a lot of negative to talk about it...

MazloomYarMasud
07-27-2010, 12:11 PM
Khan is a turkish name and has Mongolian Origins.

Khan was never a name of Pashtuns. We inherited it by Mongol Occupation.

Kind Regards

Zarawar
07-27-2010, 12:15 PM
Khan is a turkish name and has Mongolian Origins.

Khan was never a name of Pashtuns. We inherited it by Mongol Occupation.

Kind Regards

Well said..

Badlun
07-27-2010, 02:19 PM
Spogmai

I am really thankful to you for your great comments on my article. I agree that always there are some external factors too which are responsable for the downfall of a nation, people,society or indivisual but blaming these factors is not at all the solution. You make yourself strong enough that your opponents or your enemies dont dare to attack you and destroy you. Defence is the best war. Detrrence is the best war.

Some times external factors for Pashtuns like ISI, CIA, ARMY, USA, NATO, TALIBAN, PUNJAB, TAJIKS etc just myths , only excuses for not reforming yourselves and blaming them is a solution but if you are even sure that they are responsable for your problems, still instead of wasting your energies on blame games , just reform yourself, find out where you are at fault that you give opportunity to your enemy that the enemy play with you, harm you , exploits you and abuses you. Why our weakness become an opportunity for our adversary.

This khan story for me is unbelievable. This is definitely an excuse for your friend or for the Customs people not to give the job to him and giving it to his competitor on merit or corruption but name has nothing to do with Customs service. Yo just investigate an dyou will have many Khans in Customs and other services. Yes security agencies, immigration people etc may have problem with the name Khan but technically Customs has nothing to do with it.

Khan yes is a Mongol or Turkish origin word but now its attached with Pashtuns and rajputs mostly because it was also a rank in Mughal army and a title of respect. We have discussed this issue in another topic and can have a sepaarte thread for it.

Here we should discuss whetehr blaming others is the solution or reforming your own self and making your self strong enough that your enemy does not dare doing any thing against you.

spogmai shaglay
07-28-2010, 11:44 AM
this story is unbelievable but true.....this wasn't an excuse for my friend but definitely it must have been the excuse for the Customs people, not on merits basis of course but corruption basis...they just wanted a flaw in him which they couldnt find...and hence this...

i too know that there are many 'Khans" in Custom and various other fields but there are cases like these tooo...so do u agree external factors are hindrances too many a times...even after ones own reformation....to an extent that this friend of mine started perceiving this 'Khan' name as a threat.....now what???

when your own name, your culture becomes your limitation.....atleast this fellow started thinking on these terms and for quite long, whil introducing himself he never mentioned his last name...on broader terms it was also about he being a muslim...so he considered being muslim also a threat....

and yes what you say that we need to be immune from within first, is i agree...we wont be able to idetify these external factors unless and until we identify the limitations within us....

my point here is external factors play a major role toooo....